Community Event Rank Giveaway Of A Decently Large Size

ign: jisooyaaa__
upgrade from vip+ to hero :))

what's the similarity between my ding dong and calculus? they're both hard for you

 

CoralFlood

Two bricklayers were having a competition to see which of them was the better bricklayer. One was a massive, tall, bulky, hulking mountain of a man, and the other was this small little guy. So, in order to see who was better at bricklaying, they each took 100 bricks, and saw who could lay them the fastest. However, they both finished at exactly the same time. Then, they tried to see who could build the tallest stack of bricks without it falling over. Both towers got to the exact same height before falling over. Finally, the bigger guy, who was at this point fed up with the ties, took a brick and threw it straight up at the sky. It went up and up and up, and almost vanished from view, before plummeting down and burying itself two feet deep into the earth. Then the smaller bricklayer took a brick, and threw it straight up. It went up and up and up and vanished from view.

Didn't like that one? Fine. Here's another one, I have INFINITE dad jokes.

A bunch of people are boarding a plane from LA to New York. This old man sits down at a window seat, enjoying sitting by himself. Then this lady comes and sits by him, and she has this bird in a cage. The bird is freaked out by being on an airplane, and starts squawking, annoying the old man. Finally, he's had enough, and asks the woman to shut the bird or to move somewhere else. She doesn't do either, and the bird continues to annoy the old man. He asks again, but again she refuses. Finally the old man, driven crazy by the bird's squawking, lights up a cigar and lets out a puff of smoke in the woman's face, causing her to yell at him to stop. However, he's not willing to stop until the bird shuts up or she moves, so they remain there with him puffing smoke into her face, her yelling at him to stop, and the bird squawking loudly the whole while. The other passengers are of course furious by this point, and agree to the throw the bird and the cigar out of the plane. They take them to the back of the plane, and carefully open a window, and throw both out, despite the protests by their respective owners, and continue on in peace. However, after a while, the look out the window and what do they see but the bird. And can you guess what it was holding in its beak?

Spoiler

Why, the brick of course!

 

Ign OnniBoy
Joke: Whats the best thing about switzerland? I dont really know, but the flag is a big bonus.
Another joke: Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Also the rank would be HERO if i were to win. (as in upgrade from vip+ to hero)

 

coolaccountname
vip -> vip+/hero :)
what do you call it when a french gang insists that you should hand over the money?
PIERRE PRESSURE
HAHAHHHAAHAHHAHHAHAH

 

IGN: Windfall_
Rank: Any
Dad Joke: no u

jk...

Why do ducks have feathers?
To hide their butt quack

 

-ColorShroom
-As I lay in bed, looking up at the many thousands of stars in the night sky, I think to myself...

WHAT IN THE HECK HAPPENED TO MY ROOF?

 

Ign: tomka700

Any rank would be nice

Dad joke:
What time did the man go to the doctor?
Two thirty

 

ING: jDontKnow

Uhm, VIP+ maybe

"i don't know, just look my name"

 

Upgrading from VIP+ to HERO

DeltaTear_

I’m an egg

 

IGN: Grundhugil
no preferred rank, tbh any is nice

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

 

Hello, here are the winners. In order of rank
Also, I decided to give 3 people VIP+ instead of 2 because Skabb has VIP already and abzers really deserves better than just VIP
Hero for @Melkor
Vip+ for @SkabbMenSnabb , @abzers , and @IceBear
Vip for @by2011 and @Mac N Cheese Man

Plenty of other people had very good jokes but these were the ones I liked the most

Spoiler: Though some people weren't very original

eww light theme

Anyways I procrastinated this until like 1 AM so I'll be giving out the ranks tomorrow. If anyone wants to change details then please message

________________________________

Honorable mentions to TrueThaumaturge for being honest while simultaneously making fun of everyone here, and to the two people who asked for hero rank despite already having it.

 

Sad

 

Hello

I’m dad

 

Wow, didn't expect to win anything with that joke, it was just one of my favorites. Thanks a ton <3

 

oh shit, I didn't think I'd win, username is Billygoat9.

Thank you.
Tbh, I just wanted to have an excuse to post a joke.

 

Skabb got that straight off the front page of r/dadjokes. Oof

https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/8rvscd/as_i_handed_my_dad_his_50th_birthday_card_he/

 

Congratulations everyone!

 

IGN: Fiyee
Im a default rank so any rank would make me super happy!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

 

It already finished

 

My goodness, I didn't expect to win anything with that joke! Thank you, and I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible; My dad, for always having a steady supply of dad jokes, my arms, for always being at my sides and my legs, for always suppo- hey, give back that mic!.