Survive!

However, luck would have it that at that exact moment, my phone starts an alarm, alerting me to the fact that the apocalypse is here. Given that I am the only living human with the X;45 gene needed to develop a cure, secret government agents teleport directly into your brain and make you kick the wall instead. I deftly spend the next hour on a hardcore chase to avoid being captured, before finally succumbing to the multitude of taser wires engulfing my body, and am taken away for further research.

There’s a fucking apocalypse and the only person who can stop it has just been kidnapped

 

I am a mayfly, and will thus die of natural causes before the apocalypse reaches its apex.

You're a cyborg deer-, anteater-, goat- thing (?), meaning you'll live to die of said apocalypse.

 

apparently the apocalypse only affects earth, so I take a flight to mars where I have a base set up already

unfortunately you’re still stuck on earth, and it seems I took the last transport off of earth

 

To bad I'm on a danganronpa on the moon sow I'm not affected

Kill queen has already touch deh mars *click*

 

i yeet myself into a shoe and cannot he killed as shoes are not biological organisms

i jump into a fire and when i finish burning everything will snap out of existence in all realities

 

I pull you out of the fire and drench you with water. Then I put out the fire so you don't burn again.

You drown in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

@DrBracewell thanks for reply 1000 on this thread, too

 

i’m a shoe i can’t die

you become a human and die

 

im teleported to an alternate universe where i never become a human. instead im a shoe and therefore I cannot die

situation: million paper cuts to your brain

 

my brain isnt made of paper so nothing happens
(wait what?)

Your husband finds out about your secret affair
and he has an axe

 

it doesn’t matter because my secret affair was with him

but the axe is sentient and hunting you down

 

It's hunting me down because it wants my love. <3
We meet up and have a nice time.

To show it's devotion to me, I let it do out to kill you. ;p

 

but I seduce it into joining my side

then I send the axe and my husband to kill you

 

Because you sent the husband with t it knows you aren't loyal to it.

It decides to re-re-re switch sides and come after you instead.

 

that’s when I melt it down with a blowtorch

and you

 

That sounds like a good time to magically turn your brains into hash browns. Two birds with one stone; you have no idea how to operate the blowtorch, and you are incapable of living to do so anyway.

Oh, and even if you did, the axe's aware of your treachery.

 

I had nothing to do with the affair so the axe doesn't kill me.

Unfortunately, the next guy is stuck in a Danganronpa killing game.

 

Well ya ain't wrong
But I survived it


But you didn't

 

But I'm the co-host and technically not participating.
muahaha references to other forums
also you technically didn't

You're stuck in an indestructible box with an indestructible hairdryer somehow running at 11 petawatts of power. And no, you're not indestructible.

 

I teleport out and teleport you in

 

I never said I was vulnerable to it.

You teleported into the pool of lava that the box left behind.