Dumb Explanations For Your Sad Experiences (not Too Sad I Don't Want Ppl To Cry)

So pretty much one person explains a sad event and the next person comes up with a dumb explanation

Example:
Person A:
I fell in a puddle today

Person B:
Your shoe blew up so you slipped and fell

I lost my bag earlier

Person C:
Your bag ran away

I died yesterday

I'll start with a sad event:
I had bad sleep last night even though I normally get a healthy amount every other day​

 

You realized that you were gay for Danny DeVito

I found out that my neighbor lives next to me

 

You can't file a restraining order.

I dropped my icecream.

 

Apparently the ice cream had an inversed gravity, and it dropped into the sky.

I fell into a black hole today

 

you helped further scientific research

I am harassed and bullied

 

Only ants harass you, and as a result you become a super sayian god and banish all the ants to another planet

My old ws set disappeared when I logged in

 

Your was set was unhappy with it's ownership and went, "bye bye".

I live in a family corrupted by toxic relationships.

 

This is because you and family ARE toxic, corruption sludge creatures

I got eaten

 

You got eaten by the clouds, and afterwards you fall out of the clouds and skydive

I died

 

3 days away from a necro post :D comon bumpyyyyyy

 

...because you slipped on a banana peel onto a unstable floor, causing a giant sinkhole

i got an F on a test

 

because the teacher thought you needed to learn the letter F, since you didnt use it at all during your exam

I got shot by an arrow throu thee nee