Serious Regarding... Dark Thoughts... (serious, Mature Post)

Note: If you have any sorts of troubles in life, whether big or small, there are always people there to help. This post is not for the Weak-Hearted either.

With that disclaimer taken care off, I would like to talk about today.

I never really had much experience with these sorts of things. In IRL I have handled friends with minor Depression, a few people with minor Anxiety, usually it was fine, but what happened today taught me something more, and prehaps changed a lot of how I think about it.

Just for background, I met this person yesterday, and prehaps I might not be the best person to talk to him about it because of it. He seemed happy, joyful kind. I did not expect him to suffer from things like these. I didn't know what to say. I just hope that he is fine and safe.

Here's how our Conversation went.

Spoiler: Chat Log

[112246] [Client threadINFO] [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] good god i think i should stop playing

[112250] [Client threadINFO] [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] lol
[112253] [Client threadINFO] [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] What time is it ?
[112305] [Client threadINFO] [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] im feeling pissed off and depressed about nothing
[11:23:15] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] Why so?
[11:23:18] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] its only 2pm
[11:23:21] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] oh
[11:23:27] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] Just have some rest or something lol
[11:23:30] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] You are probably just tired
[11:23:36] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] i always am
[11:24:19] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] mmm
[11:24:26] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] Im not a doctor
[11:24:57] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] But just know that there is always people around to help ya
[11:25:06] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] Go have some rest
[11:25:20] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] now i know that is bullshit

(4 minutes later)

[11:29:30] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] you know what, i will have a break
[11:29:40] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] okidoki~
[11:30:03] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] im better off asleep/comatosed/dead
[11:30:04] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] unless u want story time with Pika

I want to tell him about Santacruzz, but also I was quite hesitant.

[11:30:18] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] since i do nothing but play fucking pc games

This moment I decided to do /find Pretzule for help. Not online.

[11:30:50] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] there is no point to this life except to be treated like a mere piece of shit
[11:31:08] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] yet its wrong to commit suicide
[11:31:24] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] I just want to say that
[11:31:37] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] those who condemn suicide as wrong and selfish are the ones who are selfish
[11:31:39] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] There is a builder who did suicide in this server
[11:31:59] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] sometimes suicide is the ONLY way to escape the pain of this fucked up world
[11:32:23] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] oh yeah? well i wish i had their guts

Fuck.

[11:32:47] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] i would say id switch places with them, but they commited suicide for a reason
[11:32:51] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] You know, you haven't really given me much context
[11:32:55] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] What happened?
[11:32:56] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] so i will leave them be
[11:33:12] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] what happened?! i was born thats what!
[11:33:25] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] and to top it off, born with aspergers

Aspergers is a Syndrome which causes social interaction issues for the person. It also causes Depression, which at this moment I am really troubled and clueless on what to do.

[11:33:51] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] i have it mild compared to some, but its still hell on earth for me
[11:34:08] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] and to make it worse, with aspergers comes depression
[11:34:29] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] so clearly God never intended for me to have a happy life
[11:34:42] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] Well
[11:34:45] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] unless it was his nemesis who did this to me
[11:35:36] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] either way, i didnt do ANYTHING to deserve this
[11:35:43] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] if i did, i want to know what i did
[11:36:13] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] if i offended God in another life that bad, why did he send me back here
[11:36:38] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] then again, if you believe in God youre not supposed to believe in Reincarnation
[11:36:51] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] you live on earth once, thats it
[11:37:31] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] and IF its true about living a new life after you die, then what did i do to deserve this

(1 minute later)

[11:38:20] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] since im probably just annoying you at his point, i will shut up
[11:38:28] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [PikaLegend_ >>> Player] Nah you are not annoying me
[11:38:31] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] and stop bothering you anymore
[11:38:38] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] [Player >>> PikaLegend_] good luck with whatever youre doing

[11:38:42] [Client thread/INFO]: [CHAT] Player left the game.

This chat log happened on Wynncraft, just an hour ago. For privacy reasons, I shall not reveal his name.

No one deserves this, yet I feel powerless to do anything, because clearly many people are faced with this issue within us, something that 16-Year-Old me might not understand as much. I wish I could help, but truth is that I would had done things worse. He left, and I don't know if I will see him again, but the matter if I did the right or wrong is what truly makes me feel scared.

I bet he is somewhere in the world right now, still breathing, still thinking, still crying. Why, I will never look down on this sorts of people, and I swear that I will do better next time I see something like this.

I had to share this out, as I feel like I don't really know what to do myself. I wish everyone a safe Christmas.

________________________________

This conversation only lasted for 15 minutes, and yet, it felt really long.

 

Don't dwell on whether or not you didn't the right thing; it's in the past now and you did the best you could do.

Just keep an eye out for the player, and remind them that they have plenty of people in this community that can help.

 

That's pretty dangerously optimistic. As with most cases of mental illness, it's much more advisable to get help from a trained psychiatrist rather than a bunch of clueless preteens

 

many people in those cases just need a friend rather than some guy ranting to them

 

i has a tipe of aspergers

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and i am fine ...