Lets Write! Short Wynncraft Story Requests

Alright, so I've learned I have a knack for writing, so come up with a short Wynncraft story plot, and I'll write one up for you!

Ex 1. Male player goes on Lord of the Clock quest

Ex 2. Female player travels from Ragni to Nemract

Add as much detail as you wish, I love challenges :)

By short story I mean 2-4 Paragraphs

 

Sounds awesome! I have a few here that you can choose from.

Female Assassin meets Yahya, steals his mushrooms

Female Warrior tries to negotiate a trade in Detlas, gets violent fast

Male Mage completes WynnExcavation Site A Quest

Male Archer travels to Ragni, discovers it destroyed and overrun by Pigmen, saves the city with the help of Gilbert

Any of these would be fantastic. Can't wait to see what you do with them!

 

A'right, Male Archer & Gilbert here I go

For @EpicMario13EXE

{Part 1: News}
As the man paced down the emerald trail he sighed "Nothing to do" "Ash, Is that you?!" The male looked up at the sound of his name. "Gilbert?" he asked as another man ran up to him. "yea it's me...but Gilbert, what are you doing this far out of town, I thought you had a job to do" Gilbert nodded "I did but the town has been ravaged by Pigmen, I managed to escape but others weren't so lucky" A look of shock raced across Ash's face "Is Enzan alright?" he asked as he yanked out his bow. Gilbert broke eye contact, "I-I'm not sure..." Ash shook the his emotions away, "We have to fight back!" Gilbert stared at Ash, shocked at his declaration "Ash...There's to many, even Ragni's army couldn't take them down, and.. The K-king..." Gilbert choked out the last part. "Now I'm even more pissed.." Ash hissed "I don't care if you come with me or not....but I'm going to fight" With that Ash turned and jogged towards Ragni.

{Part 2: A Rising Hero}
As Ash arrived he discovered there was no lie behind what his friend had told him. The once beautiful city was now a burning heap, crawling with Pigmen. Ash could smell the obvious scent of death even from his place at the main gate. A pebble clattered at Ash's feet, looking down he saw a face, peeking from a now-dry sewer pipe. Jumping down into the Ravine surrounding the city. Clambering into the pipe he looked up to a familiar face "Enzan?" he asked. The male in front of him nodded "The survivors of the attack are living here" Enzan explained as the pair walked down the pipe. Breaking into a larger room Ash looked around at the ragtag band of Knights and Golems. "Enzan we have to get Ragni back.." Ash breathed. Enzan nodded, "I'll be glad to assist you...but you'll have to convince them" he nodded to the survivors. Ash stepped onto a broken rock, everyone turned their heads to face the man as he began to speak, "This, this is unacceptable, we have to fight back" everyone groaned "I know it may seem impossible, but I know we can win" From Ash's audience an old Knight yelled out "Sorry kid, but the King and most of our army are gone. I've been through a lot and this is NOT a battle we can win" Ash nodded to the man "I've been through a lot to, but we can and will win, this is OUR city" He announced, proud of the now more willing crowd below him "Are we going to take this, I mean, we are citizens of Wynn right? We don't take this, we WILL win, we WILL defeat the enemy!" The crowd below Ash cheered, raising weapons above them. A shadow crossed Ash from the exit pipe, "Ash, what have you done..."

{Part 3: Battle}
Turning towards the voice Ash replied confidently "We are taking back Ragni. Feel free to join us, Gilbert" The male nodded "I'm sorry Ash, I was just so upset, I'll help you fight back..." Ash smiled "Great to have a newcomer to the team!" As everyone prepared what weapons and armor they had, Enzan, and Gilbert where going over battle plans. "Everyone ready?" Ash asked, earning a cheer from the crowd. Ash and Gilbert walked Towards the exit, their rag-tag army behind them. As they climbed out into the open air, a battle cry rang through the air as the small army charged. Slamming his back against Gilbert's, Ash held his spear against that of a pigman's. "Can we really win?" Gilbert panted out. "Well, we win or I die trying!" Ash replied. Ash slammed an arrow into a pigman, killing it instantly, before looking around. Ignoring the pigman coming up behind him he rushed over and shot a pigman in the head, who was battling Enzan. With a nod of thanks Enzan ran off to continue the fight. Having forgotten about the pigman behind him Ash looked around, falling to the ground Ash felt pressure on his throat, Ash, now noticed a pigman creeping up behind Gilbert. "Gilbert!" he attempted to shout but only a small squeak came out. The spear slashed down Gilbert's back, killing him. A shout was heard, as the pigmen began to flee, standing up Ash stared at Gilbert "This is all because of me..." A hand rested on his shoulder turning Ash saw the old knight who had spoken at the first meeting, "Just what happens in a war kid, just what happens..."

{Part 4: The End}

"You are now, King of Ragni!" Cheers rang out through the halls. Ash smiled as he adjusted the crown on his head, as everyone left the room Ash thought "You should be right next to me, Gilbert"


{A/N} Finished! I can't believe I just killed Gilbert
R.I.P, We mourn you Gilbert...

Hope you enjoy!

 

I immediately see a problem with your writing. Your dialogue is messy and hard to read. I'll modify the first bit of your story to show you how you can improve it.

The main problem is that you don't enter line breaks between different characters' dialogue. However, if two lines of dialogue are spoken by the same character, they stay in the same line. I'll read the rest of your story and give more notes later on. For now, use this picture as a reference when you write.

 

I sincerely apologize For being my immature grammerless junior high self, thanks for tips thou

 

Alright, I've read the rest of the story, and I have some more notes for you.

First off, the final battle is much too short and doesn't give much detail. I realize this is a short story, but the reader wants to envision the whole thing as if they were there, seeing Gilbert die, seeing the other soldiers fight off the Pigmen, and especially seeing what happens to make the Pigmen flee. That part isn't really explained.

The fourth part is two sentences long; It can't even be classified as a "part." If you could have carried some of the final battle over to the fourth part, it would have solved both this and the first problem. I do like Ash's final thought of Gilbert, though. If you ever re-do this story, I would keep that part in.

The vision of the final battle is a bit fuzzy. "Slamming his back against Gilbert's, Ash held his spear against that of a pigman's?" I can't really tell what happened in the scene. Did Ash take Gilbert's spear? Are they fighting now for some reason? Some more detail and spacing between characters would be nice for this scene.

There are some basic spelling and grammar mistakes, such as "where" being used instead of "were" and random words being capitalized, ("Ash and Gilbert walked Towards the exit") but I can excuse those. As I said, they are basic mistakes.

Other than these things, I did like the story, and I think you should keep writing!

 

Sorry for lack of battle details, I'll do more of that in the future

I had no clue what to do for the fourth part, so I just took wild attempt

At first I was going to have Gilbert and Ash switch roles in the battle, before the idea of killing of Gilbert came to mind...As a result of that I switched the names and weapons, that was just mistakenly left in

Last of all I just suck at grammer

 

Trying to redeem myself...another one of your ideas, @EpicMario13EXE

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
{Part 1: Provoked}

The girl paced around the woods, she was currently lugging around a bag of mushrooms for some crazy guy named Yahya. She kept getting him stuff but he repeatedly told her he had 'forgotten' to tell her to get something. Walking up to the strange man she said "Here are your mushrooms...,"

"O-oops, I forgot I need a b-bowl," he stuttered

"Ugh, every time he stutters it just pisses me off more...," She growled to herself

Simply nodding she ran off, towards the opposite side of Nivla Forest. Jumping up the tree branches she climbed nearer to the bowl merchant. As fast as she could she bought a bowl, she wanted to finish this damned quest as quick as possible. Jogging back towards Yahya's house, the female slashed at some pesky spiders.

"Yahya!" the girl shouted as she walked up to him, "I've got your stupid bowls,"

"V-very good, I-I can make m-my soup now," he replied hastily.

Shaking her head she began to walk away, but not before hearing that stupid voice of his.

"H-here..." He spoke quietly and handed her a stained bowl.

"What the hell..." she thought, what did she need a stained bowl for?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
{Part 2: Mushroom Mayhem}

It was dark out, the female was tired and searching for someplace to spend the night. Spotting dim lights through the trees she jogged forward "what?" she questioned herself, as the female reached the house "wait, this is that fool Yahya's house right?" Smirking she clambered up to a window. Peering in, the girl saw Yahya stirring broth, soon to add mushrooms. Slowly opening the window she dropped down into the home, startling the Mushroom Man

"W-what are you do-doing?" he gasped as she picked up the mushrooms

The girl stared at him before saying "Just the usual," with those words ringing in the man's ears the female dashed off into the night.

| Time Skip to Morning |

Dragging her feet across the ground as she stepped into Ragni, she was sleepy from the night before, dashing through the woods in order to escape.

"Hi, still doing well?"

She turned to face the voice "Oh, Enzan...yea I'm doing good"

Enzan nodded his approval "You know there have been rumors about a female assassin, someone overheard some crazy guy saying she would 'repent',"

The female tilted her head "'repent?'"

Enzan nodded again " Yes, and something about a mushroom god...but who knows"

She waved goodbye before continuing her walk into Ragni.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
{Part 3: The end?}

She let out a long sigh, she was walking through Nivla Forest. Again. This time she needed to retrieve some cow named Drale. She wasn't sure why this specific cow was so important but, whatever, as long as she was helping out right? There where some crashes to her right but she ignored it, probably just a reckless warrior training. The forest spiders swarmed out of the trees, causing the girl to whip out her blade. At that moment the spiders swarmed past her feet "What, shouldn't they be attacking me?" she questioned quietly.

"Repent" something chanted before a large white stump crashed in front of her.

"You've got to be frigging kidding me..." she muttered as she looked up.

It was huge, a large, walking, red, spotted, mushroom. Its eyes and mouth seemed shriveled, though it was still visibly angry. Smashing it's large fist next to her barley missing it knocked over trees with the sheer force of the blow.

"Dammit, is the end?" She questioned herself, as she dodged another fist.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

{A/N} I hope I've redeemed myself even slightly, I also have no clue how my mind comes up with this...

I have taken your notes to mind by not skipping to much, and separating dialogue

 

I thought I responded to this. Whoops!

You've improved very much with this story. I have a couple notes, though.

If you have something with no gender, show possession with 'its' rather than 'it's,' which means 'it is.'

When the dialogue of one character ends without a dialogue tag, end it with a period rather than a comma. It took me a while to get used to this too, so don't feel bad.

If a character performs an action before dialogue, end the action with a period.

You should always treat interjections as separate sentences. For example, "What, shouldn't they be attacking me?" should be "What? Shouldn't they be attacking me?"

Adjectives are kind of hard to explain. When you describe the mushroom monster, you say "It was huge, a large, walking, red, spotted, mushroom." My recommendation is to remove 'large' as it is the same as 'huge.' Also, 'red, spotted' implies that the mushroom is red with otherwise colored spots. Unless that was your intention, you should combine 'red' and 'spotted' as 'red-spotted.' Finally, placing a comma between an adjective and the noun it describes is wrong in all cases.

Try not to repeat dialogue tags. I see a lot of "she questions" in the story.

This isn't an issue, but it seems like the Assassin isn't very confident in her abilities. As soon as she saw the mushroom monster, she assumed she was going to die.

For now, use this website to help with your writing. Copy and paste your story into the field and it will give you tips. http://www.hemingwayapp.com/ You'll notice that, if you paste this reply into it, it will have no major problems. That's because I used it in my writing, and it helps a ton.

I want to see how this ends! Will you finish or continue it at any point?

 

=) Thanks for the great tips!

If you do want me to continue, I can.