Best Joke Giveaway! (over)

I will be giving away 32 LE to the person who has the best joke (Pun, poem, dark humor etc)
Must be slightly original
Ends 10 days after the first post!

3 jokes per person
Good luck !

 

32 LE?!

 

Do you accept dark humor?

 

Yes

 

I tried doing it, but it wasnt allowed.

 

Why tho?

 

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

No letters are out because this joke is fucking stupid.

Spoiler: Darkish shit since I can't be too dark

Whats the difference between pizza and jews?

A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.



Whats white ontop and balck on the bottom?

Society



Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a lambo?

I don't have a lambo in my garage




How do you fit a pile of dead babies in a bathtub?

Blender

How do you get them out?

Torilla Chips




The man who killed hitler was a hero.

Ima stop now cause it just gets extremelly dark and I have too much baby jokes from 8th grade. Can't even whip out the depression and suicide jokes cause they got me in trouble.

 

Why can't America play chess? It's 2 towers down.

What does a house wear? Adress.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? Because it's very time consuming.

A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says "sorry but we don't serve food here"

Jew is looking and an ashtray and a random guy asks "looking for someone?"

What is the difference between Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can actually finish a race.

Where is the highest concentration of jews? The atmosphere.

A Nigerian boy said to his mother "but mom I don't like my sister" and she replies "do you want to end up on the plate next?"

What's the simmilarity between parents and pizza? If it's black you have nothing to eat.

What smells like blue paint and is red? Red paint.

How do you calculate the speed of Jews escape? Height of the chimney multiplied by the speed of wind.


Sorry but my humor is so dark it starts picking cotton.

 

Cause taking about emo kids and nooses is too dark...

 

1: look up "florida man" on google
2: Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it
3: Dark humor is like a make a wish child, it never gets old

 

16 sodium atoms walk into a bar…followed by Batman.

Spoiler: Answer

The chemical symbol for sodium is NA. nananananananananananananananana...BATMAN!

________________________________

A crash landed pilot finds Hitler and a bunch of Nazis hiding in the Amazon. He asks,"what's your plan for world domination". Hitler responds, "First, we kill all the camels. Then, we kill all the Jews." The pilot responds, "why the camels?" Hitler turns to another Nazi and says, "See? I told you they didn't care about the Jews!"

 

Read my anti-jokes thread.
I win.
EDIT: I dun wanna steal anyone's credit, so if someone who commented on my thread has the best joke, give it to them.

 

I think my life is the best pun/joke/whatever...

I hope i win with my life being the best joke since 126492825393036184026 BCE

Good luck to everyone

 

Remove the suicide joke so that doesnt get deleted.

 

oh ok

 

Roses are red, violets are blue, gorilla shot, at the cincinatti zoo

 

The 2016 US Election

 

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’


Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’


It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’


A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, ‘No, let me see the next room.’ In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries. The guy says, ‘I pick this room.’ Satan says Ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, ‘OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!’

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

 

I tried to catch fog yesterday.
Mist.

-lol totally did not use this one before -

 

Best joke? My position on the player level leaderboards