Media I Want Your Opinion ( Gm Quest )

So yeah.
Please tell me how I can improve my GM quest.
I was told to make a storytelling quest that doesn't affect the lore.
That's what I attempted to do, here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/10LLFFvVjFyH-htafjb-Cz69bRg34CcMNZlk4Hbg14Wg/edit?usp=sharing

Please comment how it can be improved.

Edit: I get it's a fetch quest. I will improve it. What I want to know is if it's a good story that doesn't affect the lore.

 

I don't think it will be your GM quest if everyone helps you with it :I

 

It's my GM quest.
I want feedback.
There's no rule that doesn't say I cant get feedback.
@Sprenji did it.

 

it's not very creative
all you do is kill two bosses, then get their items

 

It tells a story though, amirite?
right now i dont care if its a fetch quest, i can improve that later

 

There are so many bosses in wynncraft already... You should make something like Kroltom boss fight, where you have to kill a mob to destroy the cave

 

but isn't cool

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anyways, you can improve it later as you said

 

So the story is bad...?

 

No, the story is fine, you just have to work on it, so it won't be like most of the Gavel quests

 

The thing with making a story-based quest is that some people don't give a shit about story.
The key to making good quests, in my opinion, is to give them a nice balance of story and good gameplay. Quests that are just one or the other are good for some but fail to cater to ALL (or at least most of) the players.

 

Just want to ask, @Selvut283 do you know if this is allowed?

 

I think what you should do is find one good place that you wish there was more quests in or a place you are really connected too, as your s story becomes bland after awhile. The fetch quest is not a very good idea. Take the dark forest mansion quest, for example.

So basically do this:

Stick to one place so you can make your story juicy (ex. is the prison near tervanes)

Here's a basic idea:
1. Prisoner escapes from prison, use clues and mystery doors and buttons o find where he went- tell the warden, fight the prisoner maybe, justice and bla bla.

Not as dry as that. Make it so the reader is captivated and memorized and actually gets sad or angry or confused, like in shattered minds.

Sorry for my rambling, but I hope this helps :)