My Greatest Chemistry Jokes Of 2015(you May Have Heard Some Of These Before)

Hello one and all to chemistry jokes that will make you probably hate me, but too bad!
I have 8 jokes (and one of them has nothing to do with chemistry at all!)

Lets get started.

1. Two chemists walk into a bar. The first chemist orders H2O and the second chemist exclaims "I would like some H2O too!" The second chemist dies.
2. Helium walks into a bar. The bartender refuses him and says "We don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.
3. Lithium and a firefighter walk into a bar. The firefighter gets a pay raise the next day.
4. In the French Revolution, all helium, neon, argon, krypton, xenon, and radon were removed from the country. They were noble gases.
5. Uranium and Plutonium walk into a bar. There is no counter.
6. I could tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
7. I could also tell you a sodium joke, but Na.


8. A guy walks into a bar. Ouch!


gg science.

 

A neutron walked up to the bar to pay for his drinks, the bartender said that he had no charge

 

Q:What does the chemist say when he sees tow isotopes of helium.
A:HeHe

Q:How often do I tell chemistry jokes.
A:Periodically.

Now a none chemistry joke.

Ivan Pavlov walks into a bar, everything is fine till the bartender rings the bell and Pavlov exlaims "OH SHIT I FORGOT TO FEED THE DOG"

Q:Another Pavlov joke! How does Pavlov keep his hair nice and clean,
A:Classical Conditioner.

 

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't. (Not really chemistry but whatever).

 

here's some you may like (credit me though):

Want to hear a joke about sodium bromite?
NaBrO.

Once I told a chemistry joke. I got no reaction.

Chemistry jokes are so funny! I slapped my neon that one! (neon=knee on)

I lost an electron.
Are you sure?
Yes I'm positive.

Cats are made of iron, lithium, and neon. (FeLiNe is a cat.)

Why did the arctic bear dissolve in water? (get it, polar bear)
Because it was polar.

Breaking news Iron Man is female! (Iron=Fe, Man=Male)

What do we do to human chemists?
We barium. (Bury 'em.)

Oxygen and Magnesium are going on a date.
OMg! (O=Oxygen) (M=Magnesium)

 

@reedico read my above comment.

 

Wanna hear a joke about potassium? K.

 

NaCl
NaOH​

The base is under a salt!

I was mixing an alkali and an acid together, then the alkali fell to the floor. That is the first time I dropped the base.