What's The Weirdest Thing You Heard At School?

Hey!
For me, there have been really funny moments and comments that I have overheard at my school, I would like to share with you some funny things I remember.
Here are a few.

"What is Obama's last name?" By: Non friend: Dylan.

"So, hows your kids?" By: Weird friend, Mitchell.

"I will play candy crush with my friends under the truck! ;33" By: Weird friend: Mitchell.

"Head shoulders knees and toes, what are those?" By: Funny person: Jad.

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If you want to share off some funny comments/speeches you heard at school, feel free to do so.

 

When I was 6 years old, there was this girl in my class who would drink water from a pink bottle and tell everyone that her pee was pink. I’ll never forget that.

Also around that time, I entered in an argument with a girl because I said that one thousand is more than one hundred and she thought it was the other way around. Since she was popular, half of the girls sided with her.

Also when I was six years old, I accidentally broke a boy’s pencil and he cried A LOT. It was comic because he was big and looked strong for his age, and was crying because a scrawny tiny girl broke his pencil.

Recently, there have been too many… but the prize goes to my lesbian friend…
“She’s hetero, but she likes bunnies, so she’s forgiven.” (to a friend of mine)
“You are the most hetero person I’ve ever met!” (in a derogatory tone, like if she was using the word “faggot.”)
“You want a man that is perfect? You already started wrong, with man”

Writing this post gave me good memories… and keks

 

"Keep a leash on your bitch" my friend (He was talking about my pet dog)

"Fairies are real" My teacher

"What's Fed-Ex?" My Gf

"Why are the police here?" My other friend

 

"You are now a Voodoo Sex Doll!" My friend :P

 

This is more about school, there is this dumb girl in my class and in science she asked "How do you make added sugar?" Me and my friend were talking about a teacher who lets her students listen to music while working, I said she only plays music she likes and this other dumb girl said "So does that mean she's into music that she likes?" *facepalm*

 

I love your posts so far ^^^^

 

"Pig monkey and Milk Dog's Adventures." -My Bored Best Friend

 

"Wow! The only person I've ever seen naked is my dad!" -This 13 year old girl in a high school Spanish 3 class.
(Our school has this thing where middle schoolers can go to VERY advanced classes for their age.)

 

"The "ISIS Empire" is 3 times bigger than the Roman Empire and 2 times bigger than Alexander's Macedonia." -someone in my class 2015

 

Here is something new: "I subscribed to the isis youtube channel 3 times!" By: Bored Friend, Jorden.

 

Female student: "Mr. Ronickah, can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?"
Me: "No, that's a biological impossibility for males, and yes, you can."

Student's friend walks away from behind him. I'm standing right there.
"Can I get a nickel bag from you?"
Me: "No, but you can get a pass to the office."

"My sister's worried that her girlfriend got her pregnant."

 

Wait you're a teacher?

 

Well, at least that's what I get paid to do.

 

I'll try to recover my old stories from my old school.

Back when minecraft started gaining popularity, one of the kids noticed. (Our school didn't have any dedicated it and the Internet security was stupidly bad) One of the kids made a batch file that deleted system32. He converted it and called it minecraft.exe and gave it the minecraft icon. After putting it on the network shared drive, computers all over the school seemed to stop working.

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The runner up would be the kid putting crushed viagra pills in the cake batter. I was lactose intolerant so I opted out of having it. A few moments later, the room fell into pure anarchy. I never took home economics after that.

 

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"[Favorite Band] is
fucking shit."










hope nobody will miss them​

 

(Prob not that funny but this is weirdest thing I've heard) Some weird kid in 1st grade never drank out of the water fountain after gym or whenever because he said his moms afraid that he'll swallow a fish. I'm like in my mind, "How dumb can this mom be..."

 

Someone almost set off fireworks in my school. He was then banned for a day.
And then there are the kids who think that one kilogram of lead is heavier than one kilogram of feathers...

 

um isn't kilogram of lead heavier then kilogram of feathers...

 

*Non sarcastic tone* I was thinking the same thing...

 

I don't know if you're being sarcastic, but a kilogram is defined as a specific amount of mass. Lead is made out of a heavier material, so you need less of it to get one kilogram of lead, so it doesn't matter what material you pick, one kilogram of it will always be as heavy as one kilogram of something else.