Art How To Draw Like An Lglabyrinthian?

so i guess that because no art request clients came up this time around,
i guess you're either all taking a big long whiff at the art monopoly's masses of asses
or i'm just not advertising enough and i suck at making commercials

but anyway
because this isnt another art request that i would have liked to have filled out,
i guess i'm back to the point where i spend all of my experience into unemployed work
because i'll apparently never work another day of my life
because i'll never be hired for more than three times

bring in the world's smallest violin for the pity sandwich and "tsk"-a cola
'cause im feeling like i wanna work for you peeps

why?
because, as we all know,
over five thousand heads are better than one head for motivation.



well fuck my problems anyway
i know what y'all want
and that's good artwork
but i don't have any of that until the end.
hahaha.
dont worry tho
no more wall o' text
cause i just gave y'all motherfuckin' field trippers a class assignment
and that's to shut the cakeholes, assholes, and any other holes you have and listen
cause i just spilled a buncha peanuts and you're gonna be forcefed them
but dont eat the nuts, only the shells
or else the peanut plants are gonna grow in your belly

what?
no nevermind
just start the damn ride already


STEP ONE: IDEAS AND MOTIVES
the method to a masterpiece is simple, but not easy.
it usually goes as follows:

​

yeah.
really.
what?
dont look at me like that.
but really, there's two things that go into making a good art thing:

​

sometimes you cant draw anything until you really feel like you wanna draw
and that's okay
a lot of people run into this kind of problem every day
like
for example
i really felt like taking a shit
but it was during the middle of a school exam
so in order to not make a dark brown smudge the size of Africa in my pants
i had to use every bit of my senility to first ask why the fuck i wasnt allowed at the resters
and then somehow whisper soft enough so that no one in the room needed to know

tragic story

...you need motivation and ideas in order to draw is whats important

but really, here's how to visualize it all in a really easy way:

​

STEP TWO: DOING A DO
sometimes you gotta step back and ask, "why am i doing this?"
but as an artist, you do not need that kind of sensibility
what you REALLY need is to first not maim your dominant hand
'cause that shit be worth millions if you can take an art crap in someone's hat with it
and then they would be compelled to never wash it again because you're so damn fab

and then second, picking up a pencil or pen or stylus or whatever other expensive gizmo you have
so that you can start scribbling on a sheet of paper

idk what other stuff can write on a paper

...charcoal?

lolno charcoal sucks
dont draw with coal unless you really can't do dynamic shades with a pencil
like
what?
why would you buy a fifteen dollar pencil that does the exact same thing a school grade pencil does?
that makes no sense.
but whatever you put your money into is fine, i guess.
not my fault.

so the first thing you wanna do is do a buncha side projects alongside the big picture to sharp up your skills,
and that you dont have to completely focus on one project
because that makes things a lot more boring and regulates the system
which in turn also makes it boring and monotonous

like
the next bits i'm gonna show y'all is art that i barely even announced at all
example
you wanna do stuff like this?



or this?



or maybe even this?



well then,
don't actually download these images and start picking up where i left off
'cause those projects are a few months old
and they are sure as hell dead
because for one
i cant draw violins
B,
i cant draw trains
and lastly,
John Cena's gonna get old pretty damn fast
unless you dressed as him for Halloween
and did the full Five Knuckle Shuffle on an unexpected disabled granny handing out treats
granted someone would get arrested but that would be funny as fuck

me and my dark humor.
woohoo.

WATCH OUT WATCH OUT WATCH OUT


ohhh yeah, that's right, you can't do this if you don't know how to draw.
hm.
that's a problem, we need to get you some experience

don't worry, there's gon be a part about that in at least five Enter-key hits.





now.

STEP THREE: MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN LINES
so there's a few rules that I keep in mind with my style of art.
DO NOT ACTUALLY TAKE THIS UNDER CONSIDERATION THIS IS JUST MY STYLE
YOU FUCKIN' COPIERS CANT CATCH ME ON DEVIANTART,
YOU CANT CATCH ME HERE
DAMMIT

but really, the important things are:

​

if you can't draw proper heads, any geometric shape (cube, sphere, pyramid) is frowned upon but accepted
if you can't draw arms or legs like me, sleeves are acceptable too
if you can't draw hands, give up 'cause you'll be crying over that a lot of the time
too bad i can draw hands semi-good
muahahaha

in general, all ya gotta do is practice, practice, practice.
and if that don't work, you can always pull sources from the Internet.

no really check out the Internet if you fail
at least Google-senpai noticed me

​

tmw you become a Google search result :OOOO

well too bad that i used the name LGLabyrinth006K for way longer than i should have
so that means that all of my 7-year-old drawings from my first DeviantArt account washed up

well shit fuck outta luck
-jeff

i will forever hate VyrissTheVixen and ToluB for telling me to get one
i cri
rip in resteroni

ech
lets forget about that
please do
if you didnt i would piss even more
and i dont wanna
tyvm lets get a move on byeeeeeeee

STEP FOUR: COLOR
actually im not that good at using colors either.
i just do the do.
no real strategy.
i mean,
green gloves?
and a napkin with mustard on it?
ofc that would be a search result
move on

STEP FIVE: SHADE
im not that good at shade either
i just pick a color darker than the one already on the thing
and just do some rimlight and solid shade
that's all
nothing really interesting there

STEP SIX: WE'RE DONE BUT I DIDNT LEARN ANYTHING
thats okay
you never remember your field trips anyway
except for the part where you were given class assignments
but i said this was a class assignment a bit ago now didnt i?
i think i did


huehuehue
did i make you look?
xaxaxa if you did you owe me an art request
pls
i need them to breathe

im tired of freelancing
qq


wait,
if i just shared some of my secrets, if not all,
then my art style could be replaceable now cant it

fuck i messed up

time to move out of the USA
i'll see y'all at the USSR
(jk)



what im trying to say is
im not all that magical
im just a guy looking for work
.-.











now that i look back this was a stupid idea to begin with
shoulda let them pockets cool before eating them
fuck

 

Instructions unclear, drew a fish with a helmet.

 

GJ writing skills mn8

I´ll read this whenever I have a random hour lying around :P

 

i appruv of dis post

 

am i doing this right ._. ?

 

420/69 Made me speak Japanese.

 

WOAH.

 

Holy mother of Jarl.

 

Put some color on it and then it will look so epic!

 

"How to draw like AN lglabyrinthian"

Wait wat, there's more Lg in the world?! I'm Gonna kidnap one and he'll do the work for me~

 

kage bushin no jutsu

 

Believe me, there are many more...

 

I did it! I did it! I did... uh... something.

 

Since no one has pointed it out,
+9000 respect for that Stanley Parable reference.

 

finally someone said something!