Lore/Story Fire

i was bored and felt a bit creative so i just wrote a short story/poem with heavy symbolism and meaning
hope you guys enjoy

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Sitting by the fire
It's warm
A spectacle of red, orange, and yellow
Melting the ice inside

Peculiar display
Snuffed with a quick gust
Stimulated with a breath
True sensitivity

A source of protection
With questionable methods
Burning its source into ash
Without a care at all

Something that claims to protect
Keep others warm
But destroys and burns to do so
Is it really the right thing?

Sitting by the fire
It's warm
But thinking about all that
I feel cold.

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i don't have much experience with writing and this is actually the first thing like this i've ever written

so feedback would be largely appreciated

 

This is actually really pretty! I'm actually a bit of a poet myself and some suggestions I've garnered that you've done well with this
Word choice is the most important thing a poet can have. It's non-negotiable, do not use a word that changes the meaning of the poem. Then it makes no sense and ruins the poetry.
Use good inspiration. Don't use a mediocre idea. Use something to inspire you, and I hate to say it, but unrequited love is probably the best inspiration out there
Sometimes using plurals can give the poem a bit more flow even if it's not grammatically correct. For example, and this isn't actually the best example, but you could do instead of "a spectacle of red, orange, and yellow," you could try "spectacles of red, orange, and yellow." As I mentioned, it doesn't really work with that line, but that's just a thought.
Other than that, this is a really beautiful poem that makes you question. Keep on writing!

 

I dont like the words because they make it sound like hey im edgy, and just posting poetry on a minecraft forum and asking if everyone likes your poetry is something I wouldnt do because I know everyone here is probably very young and wont take it seriously

 

In my opinion, being more unique is better than choosing the best inspiration there is out there. For example, what if you get no inspiration from that unrequited love thing? Its better to be more inspired by something you like, not something that's popular.

 

True that, although any inspiration that comes solely from you is unique, that kind of inspiration spurs a lot of poetry

 

good job lol sounds good :c