Bake A Cake

Preheat the oven, mix the cake mix, eat the cake mix, throw it up in intervals of 3 ounces, buy a magical cleaning device to clean the disgusting cake mix, watch the entirety of a video titled, "The bee movie but a rickroll plays every time they say the word, 'Bee'", actually have an attention span more than 3 seconds, realize that I'm supposed to be making cake right now, actually clean the cake mix, burn the cake, realize that we don't even have a cake to burn yet, throw away the cake and start making cookies, extract the cake mix from the trash can and put away the cookies to use as a topping, bake a cake that smells like various trash items, burn the cake again, watch We Are Number One on repeat for 10 hours, throw everything in the trash and go by a new bag of cake mix, pee in that new bag of cake mix, actually start to bake the cake that smells like pee but then you realize that your house is burning due to the oven being on too long, let the cake mix, oven, and everything burn as you flee your house, nice sentence structure, point out how hypocritical that last one is while jumping into the fire, start to dance on the cake that smells like pee, poop on the cake that smells like pee, eat the cake, magically get a time machine to go back to pre-heating the oven so we don't have to deal with the mess that is this cake, start baking a new cake, burn this cake, realize that the supermarket is out of cake mix, try and make a run to the store 3 hours away and run out of gas half way there and 5 miles away from a gas station, push the car to the store, Pass out in the middle of the road from exhaustion due to pushing the car, come back and just walk to the store, find out that the store was just hit by a meteor, screw the cake mix and just make the batter from scratch, realize that's a stupid idea and just play Wynncraft instead, find out your account was hacked and you lost all your stuff, complain to the mods that you want a refund for your oak wood stick, fail to get the refund and finally go back to the topic of the cake, try to bake the cake but burn your house down, just go to the store and buy a cake, realize you can't go to the store because it's raining baseball-sized hail and you left your car in the middle of the highway 3 miles away, buy a new car on ebay, drive the crappy pick-up from the 1920s to the store, blow up the store with 420 nukes, die from the nukes, suddenly respawn in Ragni, go to the emerald trail, stumble upon Yayha's house, Be mistaken for a mushroom by Yahya, run away from Yahya and end up in the infested pit, get the fuck out of the infested pit, wake up on the floor of your house with a hangover, realize it's not your house and you're in a random house, be noticed by the homeowner who calls the cops on you, run away and to somewhere where you can bake a cake, realize that you didn't bake or do anything to make a fucking cake after this wall of text, remix a cake mix, preheat the oven again, realize you set the oven on 4000 and not 400, realize the "oven" you preheated was the Auschwitz cremation chambers, escape to South America with threat of the Nazis, find rare cake mix that will make the perfect cake in South America, get the mix stolen by a flock of rabid scorpions, accept that this thread is fucked up beyond all recognition and wonder if there ever was a god, and if we killed him, realize we probably, that's not a full sentence, you get the chair, actually fucking start baking the cake, preheat the oven for the third time, MIX THE FUCKING CAKE MIX ALREADY, fix the typo in the last sentence then mix the cake mix with a saxophone, play the saxophone as you pour the cake mix into a oven safe pan.like this comment so you're cake will be delicious, you take out a burnt cake out of the pan, fuck my life and commit suicide (thats 3 failed cakes during our misadventures ), realize that the rope broke and now you found a fourth bag of cake mix next to your face, put the mix in a pan, somehow accidentally dump a ton of self-raising flour in the mix but is too lazy to take it out, put in some eggs, realize that the eggs you put in were actually bombs right after you put them in the oven, realize how happy this makes you and prepare for the sweet release of death to take you away from this thread, but the explosion doesn't hit you and just destroys the cake... And breaks the oven, order a new oven from Amazon that will come in 2 turns, nuke your house so the oven won't arrive, shoot the Amazon drone down and preheat the oven, watch the oven get stolen by a herd of rabid money-birds, let the birds take it because they're cute, nag your neighbours to let them use your oven, threaten to do a back-handspring into the neighbor's pancreas with the force of 10,000 manatees, your neighbor punches you with the force of 99,999,999,999 manatees...somehow you survive, with the newfound power that you got from surviving you can make the basic pieces of a cake for a limited time, have your powers stolen by a mad scientist before you can make the cake, stab the scientist with the essence of science itself and get your powers back, fabricate the bread-y-dough-y part of the cake, put the dough-y part of the cake in a non-stick non-pan, put some icing on that shit, put the second layer in the new, high-tech oven, before cooking place a second their on the cake, while you were preparing for your 2nd cake a homeless guy runs off with your first cake...only to drop it, Preheat the oven, mix the cake mix, eat the cake mix, throw it up in intervals of 3 ounces, buy a magical cleaning device to clean the disgusting cake mix, watch the entirety of a video titled, "The bee movie but a rickroll plays every time they say the word, 'Bee'", actually have an attention span more than 3 seconds, realize that I'm supposed to be making cake right now, actually clean the cake mix, burn the cake, realize that we don't even have a cake to burn yet, throw away the cake and start making cookies, extract the cake mix from the trash can and put away the cookies to use as a topping, bake a cake that smells like various trash items, burn the cake again, watch We Are Number One on repeat for 10 hours, throw everything in the trash and go by a new bag of cake mix, pee in that new bag of cake mix, actually start to bake the cake that smells like pee but then you realize that your house is burning due to the oven being on too long, let the cake mix, oven, and everything burn as you flee your house, nice sentence structure, point out how hypocritical that last one is while jumping into the fire, start to dance on the cake that smells like pee, poop on the cake that smells like pee, eat the cake, magically get a time machine to go back to pre-heating the oven so we don't have to deal with the mess that is this cake, start baking a new cake, burn this cake, realize that the supermarket is out of cake mix, try and make a run to the store 3 hours away and run out of gas half way there and 5 miles away from a gas station, push the car to the store, Pass out in the middle of the road from exhaustion due to pushing the car, come back and just walk to the store, find out that the store was just hit by a meteor, screw the cake mix and just make the batter from scratch, realize that's a stupid idea and just play Wynncraft instead, find out your account was hacked and you lost all your stuff, complain to the mods that you want a refund for your oak wood stick, fail to get the refund and finally go back to the topic of the cake, try to bake the cake but burn your house down, just go to the store and buy a cake, realize you can't go to the store because it's raining baseball-sized hail and you left your car in the middle of the highway 3 miles away, buy a new car on ebay, drive the crappy pick-up from the 1920s to the store, blow up the store with 420 nukes, die from the nukes, suddenly respawn in Ragni, go to the emerald trail, stumble upon Yayha's house, Be mistaken for a mushroom by Yahya, run away from Yahya and end up in the infested pit, get the fuck out of the infested pit, wake up on the floor of your house with a hangover, realize it's not your house and you're in a random house, be noticed by the homeowner who calls the cops on you, run away and to somewhere where you can bake a cake, realize that you didn't bake or do anything to make a fucking cake after this wall of text, remix a cake mix, preheat the oven again, realize you set the oven on 4000 and not 400, realize the "oven" you preheated was the Auschwitz cremation chambers, escape to South America with threat of the Nazis, find rare cake mix that will make the perfect cake in South America, get the mix stolen by a flock of rabid scorpions, accept that this thread is fucked up beyond all recognition and wonder if there ever was a god, and if we killed him, realize we probably, that's not a full sentence, you get the chair, actually fucking start baking the cake, preheat the oven for the third time, MIX THE FUCKING CAKE MIX ALREADY, fix the typo in the last sentence then mix the cake mix with a saxophone, play the saxophone as you pour the cake mix into a oven safe pan.like this comment so you're cake will be delicious, you take out a burnt cake out of the pan, fuck my life and commit suicide (thats 3 failed cakes during our misadventures ), realize that the rope broke and now you found a fourth bag of cake mix next to your face, put the mix in a pan, somehow accidentally dump a ton of self-raising flour in the mix but is too lazy to take it out, put in some eggs, realize that the eggs you put in were actually bombs right after you put them in the oven, realize how happy this makes you and prepare for the sweet release of death to take you away from this thread, but the explosion doesn't hit you and just destroys the cake... And breaks the oven, order a new oven from Amazon that will come in 2 turns, nuke your house so the oven won't arrive, shoot the Amazon drone down and preheat the oven, watch the oven get stolen by a herd of rabid money-birds, let the birds take it because they're cute, nag your neighbours to let them use your oven, threaten to do a back-handspring into the neighbor's pancreas with the force of 10,000 manatees, your neighbor punches you with the force of 99,999,999,999 manatees...somehow you survive, with the newfound power that you got from surviving you can make the basic pieces of a cake for a limited time, have your powers stolen by a mad scientist before you can make the cake, stab the scientist with the essence of science itself and get your powers back, fabricate the bread-y-dough-y part of the cake, put the dough-y part of the cake in a non-stick non-pan, put some icing on that shit, put the second layer in the new, high-tech oven, before cooking place a second their on the cake, while you were preparing for your 2nd cake a homeless guy runs off with your first cake...only to drop it, catch it but lose the power to create cake tiers, decide that cake tiers aren't worth it and just make a giant cake, realize that your oven has just been stolen by thieves that are now halfway across the world, make a fire, GET THE TEXT BACK IN THE FUCKING SPOILER, get the text out of the spoiler, look back at the fire and realize that a sudden hurricane has put it out, cry uncontrollably as you realize this cake is never gonna get fucking made, realize that these instructions suck and throw them into a river, realize the instructions stuck to your shoe and are now haunting you forever, attempt one last time to make this cake. Realize you can't bake for your life, fall into fire fire whilst distracted, But in a shocking twist in events you're the unbaked cake, Gordon ramsey slaps you out of the unbaked cake dream and forces you to bake a fucking cake, tell Ramsey that you can't do it and lock yourself in the freezer, realize you've locked yourself in a kitchen where a bomb will go off and kill you if you don't try to make a cake, use a key and walk out of the kitchen, realize that you don't have a key and are locked in until you make the cake, realize life is meaningless and try to make the bomb explode faster, but then realize there are potatoes in the freezer and eat those, realize there never was a freezer and the bombs about to explode, taking you away from your miserable life, the kool aids man burst through a wall, realize you don't give a shit and hug the bomb to be free, in the hour before the bomb goes of take out and the pre-madentire Akers Gordon Ramsey left in the fridge and edit it, vomit on the cake, watch the cake explode, wake up from this fucking nightmare and walk downstairs to eat leftover cake, realize that the cake explosion knocked you out and wake up in the kitchen where the cake exploded, cry, but then a bee flies by and asks "do you like jazz?" coz I have 3 boxes of cake mix and everything you need to bake a cake in my house, respond through tearful eyes, "I love jazz", draw a new avatar for EpicMario13 because he's awesome, say "No" because you cut off your hands cuz of depression, learn that you're part starfish and watch your hands grow back, draw a new avatar for EpicMario13, *poof* a cake appears. And that kids is how you bake a cake, (*poof* because Hermione Granger turned back time and saved the 2 tiers of cake before baking a 3rd cake tier, and slapping on frosting in between the tiers and frosting around the entire three tiers of cake with piped frosting on the top of the cake that says "You May Now Eat The Cake" and magically presented the finished cake to present time), SAVOUR THE VICTORY CAKE, wake up and realize you only dreamt you made cake and are in the middle of a desert somehow, travel back in time to the 1940s and become the next Führer to instead kill all the Nazis and make a new band of Nazis to kill the FNAF community of 2014-2017, but your time machine doesn't work, exploding, and you wake up in the hospital with all of your limbs broken from the explosion, post the entire script from Avatar by James Cameron (the longest script in modern history), after which Julia Childs steps in to say " and this is how you bake a ca .. oops I've cut the dickens off my fingers :/", then all you gotta do is sprinkle some colorful candy on top and you are almost done, but the cake spontaneously combusts, burning your house down, however before the cake could combust a bee flies by to switch out a fake cake with the real cake, thereby saving the cake with sprinkles, the bee is Barry B Benson, watch Barry B Benson confiscate the cake because it was meant for Santa Claus, quickly snatch the cake from Barry B. Benson and save it, then ban Florfy5 so that we can finish the cake, realize that you are unable to ban people, cry, find out that Florfy5 sent an army of assassins at you because now he'll be tagged every post, tell Florfy5 that this will just give him more chances to not bake the cake, learn that he called off the assassination because now he can unwatch the thread, magically summon and eat a cake using your newfound sorcerer powers, decide to start baking cookies, realize you summoned a pie instead of a cake and have lost all magic powers forever, graciously untag Florfy and tag Hannibal Barca instead, re-tag Florfy5 because he won't allow the cake to be made, kill me, get arrested for murder, untag Florfy (he's watching thread like I am) and realize you did not get to eat the cake so you take the cake and hop on the Tardis to go to the Restaurant At The End of the Universe where no magic can alter its space-time-continuum and eat the CAKE again

 

Preheat the oven, mix the cake mix, eat the cake mix, throw it up in intervals of 3 ounces, buy a magical cleaning device to clean the disgusting cake mix, watch the entirety of a video titled, "The bee movie but a rickroll plays every time they say the word, 'Bee'", actually have an attention span more than 3 seconds, realize that I'm supposed to be making cake right now, actually clean the cake mix, burn the cake, realize that we don't even have a cake to burn yet, throw away the cake and start making cookies, extract the cake mix from the trash can and put away the cookies to use as a topping, bake a cake that smells like various trash items, burn the cake again, watch We Are Number One on repeat for 10 hours, throw everything in the trash and go by a new bag of cake mix, pee in that new bag of cake mix, actually start to bake the cake that smells like pee but then you realize that your house is burning due to the oven being on too long, let the cake mix, oven, and everything burn as you flee your house, nice sentence structure, point out how hypocritical that last one is while jumping into the fire, start to dance on the cake that smells like pee, poop on the cake that smells like pee, eat the cake, magically get a time machine to go back to pre-heating the oven so we don't have to deal with the mess that is this cake, start baking a new cake, burn this cake, realize that the supermarket is out of cake mix, try and make a run to the store 3 hours away and run out of gas half way there and 5 miles away from a gas station, push the car to the store, Pass out in the middle of the road from exhaustion due to pushing the car, come back and just walk to the store, find out that the store was just hit by a meteor, screw the cake mix and just make the batter from scratch, realize that's a stupid idea and just play Wynncraft instead, find out your account was hacked and you lost all your stuff, complain to the mods that you want a refund for your oak wood stick, fail to get the refund and finally go back to the topic of the cake, try to bake the cake but burn your house down, just go to the store and buy a cake, realize you can't go to the store because it's raining baseball-sized hail and you left your car in the middle of the highway 3 miles away, buy a new car on ebay, drive the crappy pick-up from the 1920s to the store, blow up the store with 420 nukes, die from the nukes, suddenly respawn in Ragni, go to the emerald trail, stumble upon Yayha's house, Be mistaken for a mushroom by Yahya, run away from Yahya and end up in the infested pit, get the fuck out of the infested pit, wake up on the floor of your house with a hangover, realize it's not your house and you're in a random house, be noticed by the homeowner who calls the cops on you, run away and to somewhere where you can bake a cake, realize that you didn't bake or do anything to make a fucking cake after this wall of text, remix a cake mix, preheat the oven again, realize you set the oven on 4000 and not 400, realize the "oven" you preheated was the Auschwitz cremation chambers, escape to South America with threat of the Nazis, find rare cake mix that will make the perfect cake in South America, get the mix stolen by a flock of rabid scorpions, accept that this thread is fucked up beyond all recognition and wonder if there ever was a god, and if we killed him, realize we probably, that's not a full sentence, you get the chair, actually fucking start baking the cake, preheat the oven for the third time, MIX THE FUCKING CAKE MIX ALREADY, fix the typo in the last sentence then mix the cake mix with a saxophone, play the saxophone as you pour the cake mix into a oven safe pan.like this comment so you're cake will be delicious, you take out a burnt cake out of the pan, fuck my life and commit suicide (thats 3 failed cakes during our misadventures ), realize that the rope broke and now you found a fourth bag of cake mix next to your face, put the mix in a pan, somehow accidentally dump a ton of self-raising flour in the mix but is too lazy to take it out, put in some eggs, realize that the eggs you put in were actually bombs right after you put them in the oven, realize how happy this makes you and prepare for the sweet release of death to take you away from this thread, but the explosion doesn't hit you and just destroys the cake... And breaks the oven, order a new oven from Amazon that will come in 2 turns, nuke your house so the oven won't arrive, shoot the Amazon drone down and preheat the oven, watch the oven get stolen by a herd of rabid money-birds, let the birds take it because they're cute, nag your neighbours to let them use your oven, threaten to do a back-handspring into the neighbor's pancreas with the force of 10,000 manatees, your neighbor punches you with the force of 99,999,999,999 manatees...somehow you survive, with the newfound power that you got from surviving you can make the basic pieces of a cake for a limited time, have your powers stolen by a mad scientist before you can make the cake, stab the scientist with the essence of science itself and get your powers back, fabricate the bread-y-dough-y part of the cake, put the dough-y part of the cake in a non-stick non-pan, put some icing on that shit, put the second layer in the new, high-tech oven, before cooking place a second their on the cake, while you were preparing for your 2nd cake a homeless guy runs off with your first cake...only to drop it, Preheat the oven, mix the cake mix, eat the cake mix, throw it up in intervals of 3 ounces, buy a magical cleaning device to clean the disgusting cake mix, watch the entirety of a video titled, "The bee movie but a rickroll plays every time they say the word, 'Bee'", actually have an attention span more than 3 seconds, realize that I'm supposed to be making cake right now, actually clean the cake mix, burn the cake, realize that we don't even have a cake to burn yet, throw away the cake and start making cookies, extract the cake mix from the trash can and put away the cookies to use as a topping, bake a cake that smells like various trash items, burn the cake again, watch We Are Number One on repeat for 10 hours, throw everything in the trash and go by a new bag of cake mix, pee in that new bag of cake mix, actually start to bake the cake that smells like pee but then you realize that your house is burning due to the oven being on too long, let the cake mix, oven, and everything burn as you flee your house, nice sentence structure, point out how hypocritical that last one is while jumping into the fire, start to dance on the cake that smells like pee, poop on the cake that smells like pee, eat the cake, magically get a time machine to go back to pre-heating the oven so we don't have to deal with the mess that is this cake, start baking a new cake, burn this cake, realize that the supermarket is out of cake mix, try and make a run to the store 3 hours away and run out of gas half way there and 5 miles away from a gas station, push the car to the store, Pass out in the middle of the road from exhaustion due to pushing the car, come back and just walk to the store, find out that the store was just hit by a meteor, screw the cake mix and just make the batter from scratch, realize that's a stupid idea and just play Wynncraft instead, find out your account was hacked and you lost all your stuff, complain to the mods that you want a refund for your oak wood stick, fail to get the refund and finally go back to the topic of the cake, try to bake the cake but burn your house down, just go to the store and buy a cake, realize you can't go to the store because it's raining baseball-sized hail and you left your car in the middle of the highway 3 miles away, buy a new car on ebay, drive the crappy pick-up from the 1920s to the store, blow up the store with 420 nukes, die from the nukes, suddenly respawn in Ragni, go to the emerald trail, stumble upon Yayha's house, Be mistaken for a mushroom by Yahya, run away from Yahya and end up in the infested pit, get the fuck out of the infested pit, wake up on the floor of your house with a hangover, realize it's not your house and you're in a random house, be noticed by the homeowner who calls the cops on you, run away and to somewhere where you can bake a cake, realize that you didn't bake or do anything to make a fucking cake after this wall of text, remix a cake mix, preheat the oven again, realize you set the oven on 4000 and not 400, realize the "oven" you preheated was the Auschwitz cremation chambers, escape to South America with threat of the Nazis, find rare cake mix that will make the perfect cake in South America, get the mix stolen by a flock of rabid scorpions, accept that this thread is fucked up beyond all recognition and wonder if there ever was a god, and if we killed him, realize we probably, that's not a full sentence, you get the chair, actually fucking start baking the cake, preheat the oven for the third time, MIX THE FUCKING CAKE MIX ALREADY, fix the typo in the last sentence then mix the cake mix with a saxophone, play the saxophone as you pour the cake mix into a oven safe pan.like this comment so you're cake will be delicious, you take out a burnt cake out of the pan, fuck my life and commit suicide (thats 3 failed cakes during our misadventures ), realize that the rope broke and now you found a fourth bag of cake mix next to your face, put the mix in a pan, somehow accidentally dump a ton of self-raising flour in the mix but is too lazy to take it out, put in some eggs, realize that the eggs you put in were actually bombs right after you put them in the oven, realize how happy this makes you and prepare for the sweet release of death to take you away from this thread, but the explosion doesn't hit you and just destroys the cake... And breaks the oven, order a new oven from Amazon that will come in 2 turns, nuke your house so the oven won't arrive, shoot the Amazon drone down and preheat the oven, watch the oven get stolen by a herd of rabid money-birds, let the birds take it because they're cute, nag your neighbours to let them use your oven, threaten to do a back-handspring into the neighbor's pancreas with the force of 10,000 manatees, your neighbor punches you with the force of 99,999,999,999 manatees...somehow you survive, with the newfound power that you got from surviving you can make the basic pieces of a cake for a limited time, have your powers stolen by a mad scientist before you can make the cake, stab the scientist with the essence of science itself and get your powers back, fabricate the bread-y-dough-y part of the cake, put the dough-y part of the cake in a non-stick non-pan, put some icing on that shit, put the second layer in the new, high-tech oven, before cooking place a second their on the cake, while you were preparing for your 2nd cake a homeless guy runs off with your first cake...only to drop it, catch it but lose the power to create cake tiers, decide that cake tiers aren't worth it and just make a giant cake, realize that your oven has just been stolen by thieves that are now halfway across the world, make a fire, GET THE TEXT BACK IN THE FUCKING SPOILER, get the text out of the spoiler, look back at the fire and realize that a sudden hurricane has put it out, cry uncontrollably as you realize this cake is never gonna get fucking made, realize that these instructions suck and throw them into a river, realize the instructions stuck to your shoe and are now haunting you forever, attempt one last time to make this cake. Realize you can't bake for your life, fall into fire fire whilst distracted, But in a shocking twist in events you're the unbaked cake, Gordon ramsey slaps you out of the unbaked cake dream and forces you to bake a fucking cake, tell Ramsey that you can't do it and lock yourself in the freezer, realize you've locked yourself in a kitchen where a bomb will go off and kill you if you don't try to make a cake, use a key and walk out of the kitchen, realize that you don't have a key and are locked in until you make the cake, realize life is meaningless and try to make the bomb explode faster, but then realize there are potatoes in the freezer and eat those, realize there never was a freezer and the bombs about to explode, taking you away from your miserable life, the kool aids man burst through a wall, realize you don't give a shit and hug the bomb to be free, in the hour before the bomb goes of take out and the pre-madentire Akers Gordon Ramsey left in the fridge and edit it, vomit on the cake, watch the cake explode, wake up from this fucking nightmare and walk downstairs to eat leftover cake, realize that the cake explosion knocked you out and wake up in the kitchen where the cake exploded, cry, but then a bee flies by and asks "do you like jazz?" coz I have 3 boxes of cake mix and everything you need to bake a cake in my house, respond through tearful eyes, "I love jazz", draw a new avatar for EpicMario13 because he's awesome, say "No" because you cut off your hands cuz of depression, learn that you're part starfish and watch your hands grow back, draw a new avatar for EpicMario13, *poof* a cake appears. And that kids is how you bake a cake, (*poof* because Hermione Granger turned back time and saved the 2 tiers of cake before baking a 3rd cake tier, and slapping on frosting in between the tiers and frosting around the entire three tiers of cake with piped frosting on the top of the cake that says "You May Now Eat The Cake" and magically presented the finished cake to present time), SAVOUR THE VICTORY CAKE, wake up and realize you only dreamt you made cake and are in the middle of a desert somehow, travel back in time to the 1940s and become the next Führer to instead kill all the Nazis and make a new band of Nazis to kill the FNAF community of 2014-2017, but your time machine doesn't work, exploding, and you wake up in the hospital with all of your limbs broken from the explosion, post the entire script from Avatar by James Cameron (the longest script in modern history), after which Julia Childs steps in to say " and this is how you bake a ca .. oops I've cut the dickens off my fingers :/", then all you gotta do is sprinkle some colorful candy on top and you are almost done, but the cake spontaneously combusts, burning your house down, however before the cake could combust a bee flies by to switch out a fake cake with the real cake, thereby saving the cake with sprinkles, the bee is Barry B Benson, watch Barry B Benson confiscate the cake because it was meant for Santa Claus, quickly snatch the cake from Barry B. Benson and save it, then ban Florfy5 so that we can finish the cake, realize that you are unable to ban people, cry, find out that Florfy5 sent an army of assassins at you because now he'll be tagged every post, tell Florfy5 that this will just give him more chances to not bake the cake, learn that he called off the assassination because now he can unwatch the thread, magically summon and eat a cake using your newfound sorcerer powers, decide to start baking cookies, realize you summoned a pie instead of a cake and have lost all magic powers forever, graciously untag Florfy and tag Hannibal Barca instead, re-tag Florfy5 because he won't allow the cake to be made, kill me, get arrested for murder, untag Florfy (he's watching thread like I am) and realize you did not get to eat the cake so you take the cake and hop on the Tardis to go to the Restaurant At The End of the Universe where no magic can alter its space-time-continuum and eat the CAKE again, you thank the owners of the restaurant for letting you use it, and thank them for all the fish,

 

Preheat the oven, mix the cake mix, eat the cake mix, throw it up in intervals of 3 ounces, buy a magical cleaning device to clean the disgusting cake mix, watch the entirety of a video titled, "The bee movie but a rickroll plays every time they say the word, 'Bee'", actually have an attention span more than 3 seconds, realize that I'm supposed to be making cake right now, actually clean the cake mix, burn the cake, realize that we don't even have a cake to burn yet, throw away the cake and start making cookies, extract the cake mix from the trash can and put away the cookies to use as a topping, bake a cake that smells like various trash items, burn the cake again, watch We Are Number One on repeat for 10 hours, throw everything in the trash and go by a new bag of cake mix, pee in that new bag of cake mix, actually start to bake the cake that smells like pee but then you realize that your house is burning due to the oven being on too long, let the cake mix, oven, and everything burn as you flee your house, nice sentence structure, point out how hypocritical that last one is while jumping into the fire, start to dance on the cake that smells like pee, poop on the cake that smells like pee, eat the cake, magically get a time machine to go back to pre-heating the oven so we don't have to deal with the mess that is this cake, start baking a new cake, burn this cake, realize that the supermarket is out of cake mix, try and make a run to the store 3 hours away and run out of gas half way there and 5 miles away from a gas station, push the car to the store, Pass out in the middle of the road from exhaustion due to pushing the car, come back and just walk to the store, find out that the store was just hit by a meteor, screw the cake mix and just make the batter from scratch, realize that's a stupid idea and just play Wynncraft instead, find out your account was hacked and you lost all your stuff, complain to the mods that you want a refund for your oak wood stick, fail to get the refund and finally go back to the topic of the cake, try to bake the cake but burn your house down, just go to the store and buy a cake, realize you can't go to the store because it's raining baseball-sized hail and you left your car in the middle of the highway 3 miles away, buy a new car on ebay, drive the crappy pick-up from the 1920s to the store, blow up the store with 420 nukes, die from the nukes, suddenly respawn in Ragni, go to the emerald trail, stumble upon Yayha's house, Be mistaken for a mushroom by Yahya, run away from Yahya and end up in the infested pit, get the fuck out of the infested pit, wake up on the floor of your house with a hangover, realize it's not your house and you're in a random house, be noticed by the homeowner who calls the cops on you, run away and to somewhere where you can bake a cake, realize that you didn't bake or do anything to make a fucking cake after this wall of text, remix a cake mix, preheat the oven again, realize you set the oven on 4000 and not 400, realize the "oven" you preheated was the Auschwitz cremation chambers, escape to South America with threat of the Nazis, find rare cake mix that will make the perfect cake in South America, get the mix stolen by a flock of rabid scorpions, accept that this thread is fucked up beyond all recognition and wonder if there ever was a god, and if we killed him, realize we probably, that's not a full sentence, you get the chair, actually fucking start baking the cake, preheat the oven for the third time, MIX THE FUCKING CAKE MIX ALREADY, fix the typo in the last sentence then mix the cake mix with a saxophone, play the saxophone as you pour the cake mix into a oven safe pan.like this comment so you're cake will be delicious, you take out a burnt cake out of the pan, fuck my life and commit suicide (thats 3 failed cakes during our misadventures ), realize that the rope broke and now you found a fourth bag of cake mix next to your face, put the mix in a pan, somehow accidentally dump a ton of self-raising flour in the mix but is too lazy to take it out, put in some eggs, realize that the eggs you put in were actually bombs right after you put them in the oven, realize how happy this makes you and prepare for the sweet release of death to take you away from this thread, but the explosion doesn't hit you and just destroys the cake... And breaks the oven, order a new oven from Amazon that will come in 2 turns, nuke your house so the oven won't arrive, shoot the Amazon drone down and preheat the oven, watch the oven get stolen by a herd of rabid money-birds, let the birds take it because they're cute, nag your neighbours to let them use your oven, threaten to do a back-handspring into the neighbor's pancreas with the force of 10,000 manatees, your neighbor punches you with the force of 99,999,999,999 manatees...somehow you survive, with the newfound power that you got from surviving you can make the basic pieces of a cake for a limited time, have your powers stolen by a mad scientist before you can make the cake, stab the scientist with the essence of science itself and get your powers back, fabricate the bread-y-dough-y part of the cake, put the dough-y part of the cake in a non-stick non-pan, put some icing on that shit, put the second layer in the new, high-tech oven, before cooking place a second their on the cake, while you were preparing for your 2nd cake a homeless guy runs off with your first cake...only to drop it, Preheat the oven, mix the cake mix, eat the cake mix, throw it up in intervals of 3 ounces, buy a magical cleaning device to clean the disgusting cake mix, watch the entirety of a video titled, "The bee movie but a rickroll plays every time they say the word, 'Bee'", actually have an attention span more than 3 seconds, realize that I'm supposed to be making cake right now, actually clean the cake mix, burn the cake, realize that we don't even have a cake to burn yet, throw away the cake and start making cookies, extract the cake mix from the trash can and put away the cookies to use as a topping, bake a cake that smells like various trash items, burn the cake again, watch We Are Number One on repeat for 10 hours, throw everything in the trash and go by a new bag of cake mix, pee in that new bag of cake mix, actually start to bake the cake that smells like pee but then you realize that your house is burning due to the oven being on too long, let the cake mix, oven, and everything burn as you flee your house, nice sentence structure, point out how hypocritical that last one is while jumping into the fire, start to dance on the cake that smells like pee, poop on the cake that smells like pee, eat the cake, magically get a time machine to go back to pre-heating the oven so we don't have to deal with the mess that is this cake, start baking a new cake, burn this cake, realize that the supermarket is out of cake mix, try and make a run to the store 3 hours away and run out of gas half way there and 5 miles away from a gas station, push the car to the store, Pass out in the middle of the road from exhaustion due to pushing the car, come back and just walk to the store, find out that the store was just hit by a meteor, screw the cake mix and just make the batter from scratch, realize that's a stupid idea and just play Wynncraft instead, find out your account was hacked and you lost all your stuff, complain to the mods that you want a refund for your oak wood stick, fail to get the refund and finally go back to the topic of the cake, try to bake the cake but burn your house down, just go to the store and buy a cake, realize you can't go to the store because it's raining baseball-sized hail and you left your car in the middle of the highway 3 miles away, buy a new car on ebay, drive the crappy pick-up from the 1920s to the store, blow up the store with 420 nukes, die from the nukes, suddenly respawn in Ragni, go to the emerald trail, stumble upon Yayha's house, Be mistaken for a mushroom by Yahya, run away from Yahya and end up in the infested pit, get the fuck out of the infested pit, wake up on the floor of your house with a hangover, realize it's not your house and you're in a random house, be noticed by the homeowner who calls the cops on you, run away and to somewhere where you can bake a cake, realize that you didn't bake or do anything to make a fucking cake after this wall of text, remix a cake mix, preheat the oven again, realize you set the oven on 4000 and not 400, realize the "oven" you preheated was the Auschwitz cremation chambers, escape to South America with threat of the Nazis, find rare cake mix that will make the perfect cake in South America, get the mix stolen by a flock of rabid scorpions, accept that this thread is fucked up beyond all recognition and wonder if there ever was a god, and if we killed him, realize we probably, that's not a full sentence, you get the chair, actually fucking start baking the cake, preheat the oven for the third time, MIX THE FUCKING CAKE MIX ALREADY, fix the typo in the last sentence then mix the cake mix with a saxophone, play the saxophone as you pour the cake mix into a oven safe pan.like this comment so you're cake will be delicious, you take out a burnt cake out of the pan, fuck my life and commit suicide (thats 3 failed cakes during our misadventures ), realize that the rope broke and now you found a fourth bag of cake mix next to your face, put the mix in a pan, somehow accidentally dump a ton of self-raising flour in the mix but is too lazy to take it out, put in some eggs, realize that the eggs you put in were actually bombs right after you put them in the oven, realize how happy this makes you and prepare for the sweet release of death to take you away from this thread, but the explosion doesn't hit you and just destroys the cake... And breaks the oven, order a new oven from Amazon that will come in 2 turns, nuke your house so the oven won't arrive, shoot the Amazon drone down and preheat the oven, watch the oven get stolen by a herd of rabid money-birds, let the birds take it because they're cute, nag your neighbours to let them use your oven, threaten to do a back-handspring into the neighbor's pancreas with the force of 10,000 manatees, your neighbor punches you with the force of 99,999,999,999 manatees...somehow you survive, with the newfound power that you got from surviving you can make the basic pieces of a cake for a limited time, have your powers stolen by a mad scientist before you can make the cake, stab the scientist with the essence of science itself and get your powers back, fabricate the bread-y-dough-y part of the cake, put the dough-y part of the cake in a non-stick non-pan, put some icing on that shit, put the second layer in the new, high-tech oven, before cooking place a second their on the cake, while you were preparing for your 2nd cake a homeless guy runs off with your first cake...only to drop it, catch it but lose the power to create cake tiers, decide that cake tiers aren't worth it and just make a giant cake, realize that your oven has just been stolen by thieves that are now halfway across the world, make a fire, GET THE TEXT BACK IN THE FUCKING SPOILER, get the text out of the spoiler, look back at the fire and realize that a sudden hurricane has put it out, cry uncontrollably as you realize this cake is never gonna get fucking made, realize that these instructions suck and throw them into a river, realize the instructions stuck to your shoe and are now haunting you forever, attempt one last time to make this cake. Realize you can't bake for your life, fall into fire fire whilst distracted, But in a shocking twist in events you're the unbaked cake, Gordon ramsey slaps you out of the unbaked cake dream and forces you to bake a fucking cake, tell Ramsey that you can't do it and lock yourself in the freezer, realize you've locked yourself in a kitchen where a bomb will go off and kill you if you don't try to make a cake, use a key and walk out of the kitchen, realize that you don't have a key and are locked in until you make the cake, realize life is meaningless and try to make the bomb explode faster, but then realize there are potatoes in the freezer and eat those, realize there never was a freezer and the bombs about to explode, taking you away from your miserable life, the kool aids man burst through a wall, realize you don't give a shit and hug the bomb to be free, in the hour before the bomb goes of take out and the pre-madentire Akers Gordon Ramsey left in the fridge and edit it, vomit on the cake, watch the cake explode, wake up from this fucking nightmare and walk downstairs to eat leftover cake, realize that the cake explosion knocked you out and wake up in the kitchen where the cake exploded, cry, but then a bee flies by and asks "do you like jazz?" coz I have 3 boxes of cake mix and everything you need to bake a cake in my house, respond through tearful eyes, "I love jazz", draw a new avatar for EpicMario13 because he's awesome, say "No" because you cut off your hands cuz of depression, learn that you're part starfish and watch your hands grow back, draw a new avatar for EpicMario13, *poof* a cake appears. And that kids is how you bake a cake, (*poof* because Hermione Granger turned back time and saved the 2 tiers of cake before baking a 3rd cake tier, and slapping on frosting in between the tiers and frosting around the entire three tiers of cake with piped frosting on the top of the cake that says "You May Now Eat The Cake" and magically presented the finished cake to present time), SAVOUR THE VICTORY CAKE, wake up and realize you only dreamt you made cake and are in the middle of a desert somehow, travel back in time to the 1940s and become the next Führer to instead kill all the Nazis and make a new band of Nazis to kill the FNAF community of 2014-2017, but your time machine doesn't work, exploding, and you wake up in the hospital with all of your limbs broken from the explosion, post the entire script from Avatar by James Cameron (the longest script in modern history), after which Julia Childs steps in to say " and this is how you bake a ca .. oops I've cut the dickens off my fingers :/", then all you gotta do is sprinkle some colorful candy on top and you are almost done, but the cake spontaneously combusts, burning your house down, however before the cake could combust a bee flies by to switch out a fake cake with the real cake, thereby saving the cake with sprinkles, the bee is Barry B Benson, watch Barry B Benson confiscate the cake because it was meant for Santa Claus, quickly snatch the cake from Barry B. Benson and save it, then ban Florfy5 so that we can finish the cake, realize that you are unable to ban people, cry, find out that Florfy5 sent an army of assassins at you because now he'll be tagged every post, tell Florfy5 that this will just give him more chances to not bake the cake, learn that he called off the assassination because now he can unwatch the thread, magically summon and eat a cake using your newfound sorcerer powers, decide to start baking cookies, realize you summoned a pie instead of a cake and have lost all magic powers forever, graciously untag Florfy and tag Hannibal Barca instead, re-tag Florfy5 because he won't allow the cake to be made, kill me, get arrested for murder, untag Florfy (he's watching thread like I am) and realize you did not get to eat the cake so you take the cake and hop on the Tardis to go to the Restaurant At The End of the Universe where no magic can alter its space-time-continuum and eat the CAKE again, you thank the owners of the restaurant for letting you use it, and thank them for all the fish, retag @Florfy5, indulge in sick memes,

 

Realize that you ate the cake so this thread should be over.

 

@Hannibal Barca WE DID IT

 

Realize that you only ate the cake in a dream,

(I'm not surrendering)

 

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

 

Realize that you are in the matrix, so to TRULY eat the cake you have to exit the matrix

 

Find a way to leave the matrix.

 

but a virus happens so you can't leave the matrix ever...

 

Realize that this method is god awfully easier than to copy + paste

 

agree with yourself, try to program a way out of the matrix

 

Realize that the only way out is to realize that it's all fake and that "there is no spoon."

 

you realize the matrix is fake and you appear back in normal life

 

You get back to making that cake.

 

What why...ok

 

necro

 

NOOooooooooooo

 

Never surrendering to necroing when the cake baking experience is obviously still needed, judging from the responses, the @Josh_Legacy s of the world begin superceding the matrix constraints, prep the cake ingredients together, the oven is ready ....