Zei

A vanilla soy latte is a three-bean beverage.

Scissors only come together to divide.

With all of the dead human skin cells in the air, it makes you wonder how much human you’ve inhaled.

School spirit is very similar to nationalism in mentality.

thank you for your continued daily wisdom, bread-senpai

People who get turned on by dirty talk have voice-activated genitals.

Because your internal voice does not need to breathe, you can scream indefinitely.

If every single kangaroo decided to go to Wyoming and for whatever reason take it over every person would have to fight around 60 kangaroos.

Conspiracy theories are fanfiction for reality.

Spiderman must always wake up a couple of seconds before his alarm.

Since rat poison works on people too, there’s really no need to keep calling it rat poison.

Peace is the duration between two wars.

A car writing a book about its life would be a true autobiography.

If we are killing the insects and other small animals we find, then by natural selection we are breeding the ones that know how to hide.

Traditions are peer pressure from dead people.

Most people that wear a polo shirt have never seen or played the sport.

Swearing makes you immature but it is referred to as adult language.

Most people find it okay to eat the same breakfast for a week. However, everyone finds it insane if you eat the same dinner for a week.

At some point, somebody saw yellow goo being guarded by flying insects with stingers and decided he must have that yellow goo.

The Opium Wars were essentially Britain becoming the world’s largest drug empire to satisfy their tea addiction.