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Bullshit Your Way To Victory

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by Mardeknius, Mar 7, 2022.

  1. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    Luckily, the fact that I have posted on Mardeknius's profile previously causes me to also be weakly pulled towards the plot hole, causing me to take an orbit around it, allowing me to draw energy from it. I use the plot altering powers to make the corgi and I intertwined, neither of us can live while the other survives, and one must take the life of the other, else all will cease...I wait at my country home, for what happens next.
     
  2. Mardeknius

    Mardeknius Architect of the Realm Item Team HERO

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    However, you just referred to the omnipotent thing as a "corgi". This creates a paradox, which results in me switching places with the [omnipotent being] - I am now omnipotent, and it now never existed.
    ________________________________
    So I guess I'm tied to loaf now
     
  3. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Alas, your referral to the now-Corgi at that time disregarded the fact that its switch had not happened yet - and so, instead of actually functioning the way you intended, creates simply another, this time temporal, paradox that cancels the primary effect of the first while still destabilizing reality further. All three beings go into a state of narrative nonexistence, and I finally take the opportunity to strike for myself, pushing the now-Corgi, you and Tzel all into the vacuum of nonexistence, which collapses immediately and is retconned from the narrative.
     
  4. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    So I'm dead? This character is dead?
     
  5. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    upload_2024-3-27_20-6-45.png
    etherweaver has confirmed that im dead. Thus
    ________________________________
    ...
    ________________________________
    MWAHAHHA
    ________________________________
    This is true. Mard rules the city with penguins. I come with an army of ostriches and kill the penguins
     
  6. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Well, it's your fault bringing back the Corgi. For killing so much of an entire species, it immediately, horrified in its relative naivety, descends from the heavens to banish you and your army from the City with divine strength, taking it for itself.
     
  7. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    i didnt, the corgi DIDNT EXIST YET, you had to put it in
     
  8. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    It descended from the heavens :shrug:
     
  9. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    u did this
    ________________________________
    In the words of an ancient god

     
  10. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Yeah, but nothing needs to necessarily repeat
    Anyways, have fun with your little exile
     
  11. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    again, I AM NOT EXILED, WHEN THE TIMELINE REVERTS, THE CORGI WASNT THERE AT THE POINT IT REVERTED TO. YOU ARE BREAKING THE RULES OF THE THREAD
     
  12. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Tzel I don't see that in the rules
    upload_2024-3-27_20-21-18.png
    ________________________________
    The figure Etherweaver uses their Decanonizer to remove themselves from the narrative.
     
  13. Mardeknius

    Mardeknius Architect of the Realm Item Team HERO

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    Ether, the Corgi does exist.
    and he is pissed with you. You've summoned him for frivolous task after frivolous task; he's been narratively wiped, killed in dozens of ways, and made to suffer massive amounts of misfortune at your behest. No - not the character Etherweaver, not the one recently decanonized; the Corgi is smarter than that. He knows that behind the screen, there is a person, a real person forcing his hand and guiding his actions and dictating his every move through words on a screen.
    Knowing that he cannot physically harm you, you being a real person and him being a construct, he does the only thing he can to spite you:
    he destroys himself.
    With his infinite power, he removes himself from the narrative, and completely destroys any possible iterations of him that could come up in the future. He also then sets in place a new fundamental law of the universe: there shall be, henceforth, no omnipotent beings in this thread.
     
  14. Mardeknius

    Mardeknius Architect of the Realm Item Team HERO

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    resets it back to "Let's begin. I own the city."
    so like
    I own the city
    fight!
     
  15. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    I take the city with my army of dream stans. I install a bunch of Portalesque puzzles needed to get to it. There are constant pollen everywhere so if you are allergic to pollen you keep coughing and cant do anything.
     
  16. Mardeknius

    Mardeknius Architect of the Realm Item Team HERO

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    Unfortunately, the corgi is omniscient, and his conscious has in fact remained through resets - until, that is, it was destroyed this reset.
    ________________________________
    also more importantly
    if he exists, then he gets decanonized immediately for Breaking a Rule
     
  17. Mardeknius

    Mardeknius Architect of the Realm Item Team HERO

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    TO BE CLEAR
    EVERYTHING HAS BEEN COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY RESET
    NOTHING THAT STANDS BEFORE IS CANON ANYMORE
    THAT MEANS NO MORE EGBERT
    NO MORE MAJIK WAND
    AND NO MORE GODDAMN CORGI
    CAPICHE???????
     
  18. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    Capoche
     
  19. SSurvivor64

    SSurvivor64 Watcher of the Realm

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    A new timeline. A perfect opportunity
    to return.
    I move swiftly, taking a rocket to the sky and spinning so fast that it causes a tornado to tear the city apart and rebuild it at a different location, which I own, so I own the city.
     
  20. Endistic

    Endistic Acolyte Enjoyer HERO

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    Bad news!!!
    It appears your rocket left a trail in the sky of smoke to your new city.
    It would be a shame if I followed the trail...

    *a few minutes later*

    I walk up to the city with a virus bomb that detects specific DNA. I sampled the DNA from a piece of hair that fell out of your rocket really unluckily through a crack. I feed it to the virus and you are now infected with a virus that temporarily halts your body processes for a few minutes - short enough to keep you alive, but long enough for me to use the same rocket at a much slower speed to throw you out of the city!! Oh yeah, the rocket is destroyed on impact so you can't use that hahahaha


    (is this an ok response? if it's not ok or whatever just retcon this
    i wrote this in like 2 minutes NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE BUT I DONT CARE)
     
    Mardeknius and SSurvivor64 like this.