The UZB Hotel

We do not refer to Him here, as he is an enemy. All of the heroes are enemies. All of the Gods are enemies. All are enemies, until proven friends. And He has not submitted his friend proving certificate to my secretary before the deadline, unless there has been a beauracatic error.

 

The newcomer's face darkens, before frowning. "Are you sure we speak of the same subject? Of those that you call gods, there is only one worth revering.
Joseph. The immortal. The transcendent. The protector. The loving savior. God in corgi form."

 

You may have your own beliefs, but it would be wise not to speak of your religious affiliations here. Though most understand the corgi to be overall kind, it is undeniable that Joseph is Of The Gods, and is therefore part of what they fight and destroy and maim and ravage and tear and destroy for. Through no fault of it's own, it has caused unbearable suffering to many here.
[OOC: is only what has happened post reset canon, or is the whole thread?]

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Therefore, You may not want to speak so loudly of Him here, at least until he swears alliance to the hotel, which I have been told is Impossible

 

"I wouldn't call it benevolence just yet" the tall figure responds dryly. "First let's see what this place really is"

 

"Fresh delivery of Uzbooze!", the porter calls out as he strides in from a side door. Straight from the Great Rift, *makes a gesture*

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Everyone else on staff makes the same gesture at the mention of The Rift

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The gesture is indescribable, for to describe it will only dilute its power forever
For now, just refer to it as "the gesture"

 

The figure made of smoke is still standing by the elevator, and growing impatient.
"I suppose subpar service is a small price to pay for the only building unaffected by the chaos," it seems to "mutter" to itself.

 

"Someone of your...Unique capabilities, I would have thought, would benefit better from more...Unconventional means of transportation," A voice emanates from above. "Please step into my office." A door opens behind the figure, with a swirling rift behind. A janitor, passing by, stares for a moment, then performs a gesture and continues walking, apparently used to the miraculous within the mundane at this hotel.

 

The figure obliges, and sits down in your office.
"I was waiting for a room assignment, of course."

 

The Cookie Factory
A lot was destroyed during the first testing of the rift....
The Infamous Cookie Factory of the UZ Hotel was one of them.
Yet the basic structure remains.. standing firm.
Some even say the cookies produced had otherworldly capabilities...

"How long has it been since the fall of this facility?" asks the Owner as he calls the manager to bring in assistants. "I believe it's time we investigate, and find out truly what happened all those years ago, allow the others to welcome the newcomers."
"Manager, use the rift to bring in some necessary equipment, we shall scrutinize this relic of the past, and potentially, restore it to its former glory."

 

I have this...Antique snowglobe, obtained from a man named Asher. It is a beautiful relic of a relic of the past, but i believe it still holds power. I enlarge it and invite you inside the Temple Of Time

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We have a perfect room for you, but we wanted to know how large you required it to be. However, we have decided for convenience, the room will simply be customizable. *The floor drops out from under you, dropping you into what seems to be a perfectly normal room. However, at the push of a button, it transforms into a large cube full of air, with gentle breezes to push one around. A being made of smoke and vapour could easily dissipate here, and have freedom to relax. There is a slider on the wall, which controls the size* "I hope you find this room to your liking," I say, "and feel free to mingle in the lobby, or never emerge for a millenia. All are welcome.

 

jesus christ almighty

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Meanwhile...

The Alchemist (pt. 2)

The elevator chimes and the doors slide open, revealing a familiar man of medium stature. The man is strung with a worn, leather satchel, and is donned with a large, black coat. Underneath his coat is a suit almost resembling that of the hotel's staff's, yet dark crimson in color. The man struts towards the bartender as he fishes for something from inside his coat.

He sits down on one of the stools, his right hand reaching from his coat to the table. He wears four rings on each of his fingers save for his thumb, each of different colors: black, white, gold, and red. He places down two gold coins and slides them towards the bartender.

"Your most intoxicating drink, please. The change shall pay for my stay for however long it would be worth."

 

Tired of this melodramatic foolery, I hang a large sign over the bar. "THE HOTEL AND BAR ARE ENTIRELY FREE!!! ALL ARE WELCOME!!! STOP DRAMATICALLY PAYING WITH STRANGE CURRENCY!!!" I then return the money to the ringed stranger and pass him some Thrice-Decayed Uzbooze, a rare commodity that we import from a place that the Gods call The Decannoned Void. It is a strange name, but i suppose there are no cannons there, which seems to be a good thing, as cannons cause death. Anyway, the withering power of the Cannonless void gives this Uzbooze such alcoholic properties that it permanently withers the alcohol receptors in the brain, making one drunk forever.

 

LMAO look it's GOLD it's a generic ahh currency wdym STRANGE

"Hmph. Such disrespect to the value of this material. Either way, thank you for the drink."

The ringed stranger reaches to one of the pockets inside his coat, fishing three numbered pipettes. Then he unbuckles his satchel, taking one of the three vials: this one glowing purple. He picks up the first pipette and collects some of the purple liquid, carefully examining its amount, then dispenses it on the drink.

He takes another vial, filled with a transparent liquid, and takes the second pipette. As before, he collects some of the liquid and dispenses it on the drink. Almost immediately, the drink heats up to a boil until it is reduced to a black sludge.

He takes the last vial, this one filled with a pale yellow liquid, and collects some of it with the third pipette. He dispenses the liquid on the black sludge and it melts to a bright white solution. Finally, he grabs a knife from his coat, and with a deep breath, cuts his palm. He pours the blood dripping from his hand to the white solution, and it begins to boil to a scarlet hue.

He clears his throat, inhales deeply, then exhales flames towards the mug. The solution slowly turns to an amber color, and foam begins to develop on the top until it overflows.

He places the mug on the table, and puts back all his items in his satchel and in one of the inside pockets of his coat.

"Cheers." He takes a sip of the drink.

 

A banging is heard from upstairs. A cloud of dust flies up from behind a shelf of drinks. A short man walks in. "Welcome back," I say.
He orders a tankard of dragons breath, which he imbibes in 3 gulps. He then turns to leave. A vine shoots out from the floor and grabs his leg. "Wait," says a voice coming from a previously unnoticed potted plant in the far corner. "We have business to discuss." Grumbling, the man plods over to the plant and starts muttering something to it. Sighing, the janitor begins to sweep up the vine and repair the cracked floor. "All very well for the hotel to be free, but I do not get paid enough for this job." Seeing his complaints, I walk over and give him a cookie. He thanks me, and with slightly less grumbling, goes on his way.

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"Would you like a room?", I ask, walking back over to the Alchemist?

 

"One of your staff have already provided me with a room,.. unless I've inappropriately welcomed myself?" The Alchemist takes another sip of his drink, unfazed by his own confession. He ignores the small commotion around him, instead intently examining the flavors of the drink in his tongue.

 

The Traveller
He walked in, removing his hood.
"Could I get a room?"

 

"Yeah sure, nice hoodie," I say. Do you want a double room or a normal one [most normal interaction at UZ hotel] [brackets are Out of Character speak]

 

Just want to make sure everyone is happy.

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[OOC: I am going to be creating small bits of ambience, to improve the vibe and keep it from feeling like a hotel with only 5-7 customers. The plant and the dwarf talking are not part of the lore, or an ARG, just something that fits with how it makes sense that that sort of thing would happen in UZ hotel lobby. Also unless someone else wants to, I will be controlling all minor members of staff (i.e Porters, janitors, cleaners, etc...). The main jobs like bartender or owner are still actual people.]

 

The Swashbuckler
The door to the b̶a̶r hotel swings open, carelessly crashing against the wall. An alarmingly tall and equally alarmingly lanky figure strides ("stride" is the only word that could accurately describe their pace, overflowing with evident self-confidence) into view, wearing some rather dazzling garments.

Spoiler: Character design

A pristine white top hat, embellished with several gears and cogs. They're primarily decorative. Probably. A pair of elaborate goggles rests atop the rim of the tophat; "elaborate" seems to be the theme of this outfit. She's draped in a black coat with golden threads woven into it, trimmed just to fit her frame, frilling out into a skirt at the bottom. A leather corset under it, with various clockwork mechanisms ticking and whirring all over, well, everything. Her right arm is covered in an elbow-length glove, similarly mechanical in decoration, and she's wearing brown boots that go past her knees, embroidered with gold.

"A room - your best one."
She slid a handful of coin-sized cogs, made of various precious metals, across the bar. "And a drink. Does a place like this serve Pink Devil?"

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The bartender hands her a foreign pink cocktail, which she stirs before sipping.
"Goddamn corgis."

 

[i have been doing some bartending while u were gone btw]
"its good to have you back" I exclaim to the bartender. "and welcome to our hotel" I say to the swashbuckler