Bullshit Your Way To Victory

the corgi descended from the spiritual plane to become physical, therefore, it is here

 

Yes, but Etherweaver took all its powers
I'm sorry Enderae
it's a normal dog now


more importantly it did a crtl + z and now I have the city

 

And now I choose to strike at last.

Remember this? I once again invoke the divine rituals and call forth Al-Laegator from the deep, promising it the taste of florida man-and toucan.
Once again, it clashes with the florida men guarding Enderae’s cage, allowing me to, with my newfound power, free him. I make a pact with him in exchange for his newfound freedom-I’ll, abandoning all former rivalries, work with him to take down Mardek and secure control of the city, possibly furthering some of the corgi’s dreams of a utopian society as encouragement. As Al-Laegator, having consumed the men, distracts Toucanus, the two primeval god-beasts engaging in one-on-one combat, our forces, the men made demigods with my power, march on the city.

 

well, yes, but if you read the entire page i wrote, the corgi came back and TOOK the corgi power etherweaver stole from the corgi back

 

I use the Suction Gun to slurp the Corgi's power and keep it for myself. I then turn the Corgi into a chicken and trap it in an aforementioned inescapable prison.



also, I didn't read the entire page you wrote, and, because you just put that in a conditional statement, and the original statement was false, the rest of the statement is also false.

you need to write your statements more carefully

 

If that statement was false, so is yours, and you do not have the corgi’s power. It is also dead-and will remain that way.
Now, I, after capturing the city as I did two posts ago, hold it as mine.

 

uh actually
you may notice that I didn't say from whom I stole it
sorry
the piranha guards are now all looking at you
you'd better run

 

I, being completely confused about what is happening, sit down at the gates to the City of Peace and wait.

 

How unlucky! You had the misfortune to sit on a strategically placed geyser, which sends you flying out into space. You hit your head on the sun, which causes it to explode, submerging the world in darkness. While everyone is confused (and blinded), I enter the city, and me and my agents take hostage the family members of . . . whoever it is currently controlling the city. I then take over, and turn the sun back on.

 

Except you can't, because I stole it after it exploded. I land back at the City of Peace and refure to give it back until you release the hostages

 

I mean . . . alright. I release the hostages, and you give back the city - your word was bound by the Zone of Truth that exists within the City of Peace, meaning that the statement "refuse to give it back until I release the hostages" is true, and you give back the city, lest you create a paradox and destroy this universe.

 

I give back a miniature city I build as a school project two hundred years ago.

I sit at the gates of the City of Peace and wait.

 

as The City Of Peace seems to be nice, i go there and give it the services of my ENORMOUS army of tanks as a self defence force, if they are ever required. i then become a peaceful citizen of the city, and also the commander of the city's forces. i also make a big statue of the corgi at the centre of the town square.

 

Oof
sure sucks that the statue is made out of living metal
It rampages through the city - it's really hungry, and needs something to eat.
so I feed it cookies.
The UZB-Brand Cookies™, specifically.
These cause the statue to obey my every order, and, its metal being completely impermeable to the tanks, it crushes the entire army. I then take over the city and begin my reign of terror.

 

While everyone's focused on taking the City of Peace, I retcon in a secret tunnel under the city that I use to bypass it's defences, thus taking control of the actual city.

 

as the statue is a visage of joseph, the most innocent and loving creature ever to grace the universe; the cookies are soon expelled from its mind and the statue goes back to being a normal statue.

 

*realizes he has a point*

so I use Quantum Entanglement (because now the two cities are quantumly entangled) to transfer the fact that "I rule the City of Peace" to be true for the real city
I now rule the real city

 

this doesn't work as when the statue stopped attacking, the remainder of my army was able to retake the City of Peace.
this also means that i technically own the real city, but i don't do anything about it.

 

because you don't do anything, I run a propaganda campaign convincing people to elect me as the leader of the city (they do). I also firmly state my values as someone who doesn't like it when people die and is against fascism.

now if you overthrow me it clearly means you disagree with my values

 

I run a campaign saying that I agree with you and have the same values.
as people like new stuff more than old stuff, they elect me as ruler and you as vice ruler.
now if you attack me it will mean that you are lying and like to attack your friends.