Bullshit Your Way To Victory

@DesolateDiscord
@bigmoneytim

unfortunately, you have both forgotten about the corgi.

when bigmoneytim burnt down the city, the corgi escaped, albeit with a singed tail. and when desolatediscord didn't pay rent to the corgi, the corgi overcame his shock after a while, but then the city burned down.

so, both of you are in the corgi's sights. the time magic was localized, meaning it only affected the city, and the corgi still has a singed tail and his memories of injury and betrayal.

what all of y'all don't know is that the corgi actually possesses power beyond anything you can imagine. this corgi, because he is a good boy, has gained incomprehensible powers out of sheer goodboyness. after healing his singed tail with his corgi powers, he sets out on a journey of revenge. nothing you do can stop this corgi. you have wronged a good, innocent creature, and you will pay for it.

 

I commence my villain arc, disguising myself as an ally to the corgi and slowly corrupting it's innocence, Palpatine-style, thereby causing it to lose its powers. I use a cunningly crafted arcane siphon to absorb the raw power released into my own form, gaining the astounding abilities for my own aims. I declare myself Emperor of the City, and begin a nightmarish conquest.

Do you see, fool, what your attempt to stop me has created?

 

I embrace my mentor arc and protect the corgi from your influence until I teach it how to avoid it.

Eventually I am slain by one of your captains, but the corgi is on its way to overthrow you. Nothing can stop it, not even your disguise.

 

But no plot is complete with a twist.
When the corgi finally overthrows Frenetic, ending their rule once and for all, they find out that the conveniently hired army that they’ve accumulated are all men loyal to me! I demand to rule the city else I torch the city’s dog food, and fearing for the health of the dog population, it quickly hands over power to me. I banish it from the city permanently and take control.

 

Who's this Frenetic character?
Actually, speaking of Frenetic,
I bring back ManicInsanity, CalmTranquility, FreneticEntropy, LawfulExpansion and PopulousPeace from the Brink of Destruction. Together, the six of my forms simultaneously duel you. As it's 6 against 1, and the six are indestructible, I win the duel and take control of the city, using loyal, conjured elementals of all types to maintain order.

 

it turns out that the documents I stole have the power to warp reality. I then write that TrapinchO is alive and then sell the documents to fund an army of tanks. I then give command of the army to the corgi and the three of us set off to take the city back.

 

However, you sold the documents to me, and I use the documents to delete your tanks, leaving your forces relatively ineffectual.

 

once again, you have forgotten about The Corgi and the power he possesses, which he regained with the help of TrapinchO.
The Corgi teleports you to the other end of the universe, then regains control of the city, with me and Trapinch as his generals.
I now hold the second most large position of power in the city, and as the corgi just wants to eat biscuits and play, I run the city.

 

I transform into a biscuit and r̸i̸p̶ ̴t̶h̷e̶ ̸c̷o̴r̸g̴i̶ ̸a̵p̷a̴r̷t̴ ̴f̵r̸o̷m̸ ̸t̵h̸e̷ ̴i̶n̴s̸i̷d̶e̷
Then I take control of the city :)

 

You're still a biscuit, though, so no one respects you. I teach them all (the residents of the city) to play Catan, and then they get so distracted playing it they don't notice me taking over.
Not their fault; it's a fun game

 

It is a fun game.
I buyout Catan and release 7 new expansions, becoming obscenely rich.
I start a side business selling mind-control cookies (what an oRigInAl iDeA) to take over the city, starting a revolt. I indirectly but completely control the city.

 

And where, exactly, do you GET these cookies? UZB, of course. When a higher-ranking member of UZB (me) shows up, the masses bow to MY will, because they’re truthfully loyal to UZB. I then use them to take over the city.

 

Unfortunately, they spontaneously fall asleep in the revolt, and it never finishes, leaving me puppeteering the throne.
It's morphin' time
- Morpheus, Minor God of Dreams

 

unfortunately for you, the corgi possesses so much power in it, it reforms itself after you rip it apart from the inside. for the horrible things you did to an innocent little creature like this corgi, the corgi calls down retribution from the skies, and cosmic darts stream from the skies, killing you instantly

 

I'm immortal, so I eat the darts and absorb their energy

 

the corgi's innocence overrides your immortality

 

Considering that my immortality comes from the law of the conservation of mass and energy, that's terrifying
Guess I don't Exist Anymore

 

what can i say
corgis are just too powerful

 

i move enderae exactly 1 metre into the air because why not

 

i fall and break my ankles