Bullshit Your Way To Victory

I say "I own all the cities now" and they become mine with No U protection (they reflect any attempts to take their possession away from me or remove the No U protection)

 

I enter the Matrix and delete you. The No U protection falls of its own accord without anything to protect.

 

I eat a potato. I gain +1 base hp

 

With the No U protection gone and no other explicit claimants, I continue to own the city, upon on the Isle of Delos.

 

I raise the armies of Rome to conquer the city.

 

I also send clodsire to your location. Since clodsire is the best being in the universe you die upon seeing him and city a is now owned by clodsire

 

But little did you know clodsire was my secret agent and they destroy you. The city is now MINE.

 

I conjure up the only thing more powerful than clodsire - lumpfather! They fight to the death, and I cunningly weave my way into the position of second in command - but unlike every story villain ever, I am content with the position.

 

That is simply impossible because Clodsire is a God among men and would never do such a dishonest and evil thing.
So therefore it didn’t happen.
Something didn’t happen to you but you did deserve it.

 

I sneakily build 100 billion nuclear reactor facilities that are built to fail and immediately meltdown when started up around Lumpfather, Clodsire, the city, and everyone else in this thread while everyone is distracted by the epic showdown between Lumpfather and Clodsire. I then start up all the nuclear reactors, and instantly teleport thousands of miles across the ocean as a massive ring of glowing mushroom clouds, all of them combined being 1,000 times brighter than the sun, while I turn my back on the enormous ring of radioactive clouds of fallout with my sunglasses on like a boss. The resulting radioactive cloud of dust and smoke is blown away from me by the powerful winds in the stratosphere.

As soon as the dust settles, I use my time machine to travel forward in time by 10,000 years so that I may resettle and reclaim the 100 billion-square-mile Exclusion Zone. Inside of which all the radiation has dissipated after 10,00 years of time have gone by. I've also brought 200 people with me into the future, everyone being from far outside the city limits, because even though I don't want kids of my own, I know about 200 people who absolutely would love to have several children to repopulate the newly-reborn city.

 

Within 10,000 years, however, I've reformed and taken control of the area (being immune to radiation by nature of lava). I've already obtained documents from every country legalizing me to claim and retain the Exclusion Zone permanently, so the city is mine, filled with ghosts who assail anyone other than me who try to take the city, and you do not have legal right to take it from me.

With (most, but not all of) the radiation gone, plants and hesitant/desperate people are starting to creep into the city, attracted by the lack of competition (for plants) and the extremely low taxes (for people).

 

About a month before Margaux's time machine arrives (12023-1-5 to be exact), my seal bursts open due to a pair of bumbling astronauts. My minions have forseen this day, and gather around me, asking what the plan is now. It's a very simple plan. And with no pesky Rangers in the way, I'm free to enact it.

A month later, Demonslayer walks in with documents from all major world governments that they told him give him the legal right in perpetuity to the Exlcusion Zone. But if you look closely, it only ever names him as custodian. Legal ownership of the zone is written to go to a "Min Hodus" character, with DesolateDiscord acting as yet my latest figurehead leader.

 

Unfortunately, I have an excellently curated legal team, and go against myself in the court of law; as I am custodian, I am the owner of the city until Min Hodus shows up, and as the one living there for 10,000 years, I claim squatter's rights. As I am myself, I allow myself to win in a very confusing lawsuit, thus gaining ownership of the entire city. All other inhabitants simply rent out houses from me.

 

Using the blueprints that were moved into the public domain years ago, I build an exact replica of the city except with free housing, meaning all the inhabitants of the old city move to my new one. As I control this city, I now effectively own the city.

 

Excellent, a Diversion! I teleport the original city a significant distance underneath the replica.

 

It is truly unfortunate that I have altered the English language beforehands-and the “spell” you have incanted has become a binding and inescapable legal contract surrendering all cities in your possession to me! I now take the city, seizing power and rewriting the law so that I will have permanent and complete control over all cities that you have surrendered. Before the inhabitants grow dissatisfied, I bring them to the surface city, which, now, as I have studied Margaux’s experiments, I take control of, using nuclear fusion to create a perfect utopia where my citizens are perfectly content to live and unwilling to part from.

 

The utopia turns into dystopia due to a nuclear collapse

 

I march my army of robots in to seize the city by force, sick of legal games. They easily capture the city with their laser guns. The robots are preprogrammed and I've placed a minute particle of myself inside each to permit manual control of each if necessary, and as such they cannot be hacked at distance.

 

I throw a single floridaman at the city walls. When he falls down, hundreds of floridamen tear the wall down by running against it head-first and enter the city. As they fight I walk to the center and stop the powerplant giving electricity to the robots, rendering them useless. Then I throw a second floridaman at you and you are promptly crushed by hundreds of bodies.
I apologise for the mess and take control of the city.

 

I summon from the deepest pits of the Everglades Al-Laegator, primordial god of all crocodiles. The floridamen immediately chase after their ancient nemesis, leaving the city in my hands.