Guide How to offend each archetype 101

(ill fix formatting later)
(and finish later)
(can you tell im bored)

Spoiler: Boltslinger

Can you stop shooting so many arrows?
Your guardians kill better than you. (@AlanGreyson)
I see why you play Boltslinger, you’ll probably actually land some hits now. (WhiteWolf)
There's no shame in needing crutches to land a single shot. (HV_Metal)

Spoiler: Sharpshooter

You missed a shot.
You should focus on getting some bitches. (BlueTheSniper)
Hey look you miss every shot in game, just like you miss every shot at glory IRL! (NoGoodGod)

Spoiler: Trapper

Your traps are bad.
wait for it.... yep thats right. keep waiting (shacers + Jackkoh)
Is it worth missing your bombs for those piss poor damage traps? (HV_Metal)

Spoiler: Fallen

Just get up (itay_)
No, you’re not Guts from Berserk (TheEpicCajun)
Just how many battle shounen clichés can one shove into a single archetype? (HV_Metal)
someone forgot agi and def exist.. (olinus10)
Fallen: No, you can't kill Greg before it kills you. (closier)

Spoiler: Battle Monk

Calm down on the spells.

Spoiler: Paladin

Remember when you used to be good at something? Me neither. (JaysonTheWarrior)
Stop taking so much damage
You’re a living punching bag (AlanGreyson)
Just dodge. (WhiteWolf, slightly reworded)
Imagine not dealing any damage; then getting a second chance to prolong that suffering. (HV_Metal)
you're just glorified defense stats (olinus10)

Spoiler: Riftwalker

Your abilities are barely noticeable. (AlanGreyson)
You can’t teleport to escape your problems forever (TheEpicCajun)
Your build is nothing without Winded (WhiteWolf, slightly reworded)
I'll die of old age by the time you wind up dealing decent damage. (HV_Metal)

Spoiler: Lightbender

I hate yuero orbs, they suck
You’re just like Lari; both of you can’t deal any damage. (Etherweaver)
How innovative. A loner with no friends to heal creates some. (HV_Metal)

Spoiler: Arcanist

I hope you empty your mana bank at 119
Who gave mage laxatives? (HV_Metal)
No heal? (AlanGreyson)

Spoiler: Shadestepper

Can you stop vanishing?
You get B+ for trying; I'm feeling generous. (HV_Metal)

Spoiler: Trickster

Your clones are ugly.
I'm already sick of dealing with only one of you. (AlanGreyson)
If only crashing the server won raids. (HV_Metal)

Spoiler: Acrobat

Your aerial stuff isn’t cool.
How's the weather up there?
The circus is next door. (HV_Metal)
No vanish? (Fezzic)

Spoiler: Summoner

Your summons are ugly.
You're so lazy, that you have to get your summons to do the work for you (AlanGreyson)
How does being the underdog feel like? (HV_Metal)
they dont count as your friends, you still have none (olinus10)

Spoiler: Ritualist

thats what the mask is (BlueTheSniper)
People ignore you so much, you had to use masks to show your expression (AlanGreyson)
Please keep the mask on. Your skin looks dreadful (WhiteWolf)
Your only purpose is to make an overpowered archetype even more broken; not yourself, btw. (HV_Metal)

Spoiler: Acolyte

Your totem sucks the life out of you, just like you do to everyone else. (BlueTheSniper)
: You're the reason we can't have balanced bosses: they all have to adapt to your broken kit. (HV_Metal)

amendment: mandatory @Enderae for inspiration when he was playing boltslinger, asked him to stop shooting any more arrows and said “nO” with a mad face

amendment 2: thenelston made a video quite similar to this thread. before anyone asks, im completely fine with it as he was original and came up with his own slander. please do not be mad at him, thanks!

Spoiler: click for his video

 

Trapper: stop falling in your own traps

 

Fallen: Is being a masochist the only thing you are good at?

 

RiftWalker: Your abilities are barely noticeable

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Ritualist: People ignore you so much you had to use masks to express your emotion

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Acolyte: Self-harming is the only good thing you got

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Paladin: you're a living punching bag

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Trickster: I'm already tired of dealing with only one of you.

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Arcanist: nO HeAl? *insert Megamind meme here*

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BoltSlinger: Your guardian kill better than you

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Summoner: You're so bad you had to summons creatures to do your job

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Acrobat: How's the weather up there?

 

Acolyte: Go kill urself... Oh wait ur doing that already...

 

fallen: just get up

 

That....that's the best roast on the block already

 

this is the best one

 

i feel like we cant make self harm jokes toward fallen/acolyte

 

genuinely one of the best threads in the forums

 

thank

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forums are weird on mobile so ill edit and fix this up when im home

 

Fallen: No, you are not Guts from Berserk
Riftwalker: You can’t teleport away from your problems forever

 

Bolt: I see why you switched to bolt slinger. You might land a few arrows now

trapper: nice trap placement. I’m sure de legendary will walk over there eventually

Fallen: yeah we all know you’re using fallen. You couldn’t kill a weak zombie with that build otherwise

paladin: yeah bro the rest of us just dodge. We don’t need all our gear for that either.

riftwalker: you definitely need winded for that build

shadestepper: why insult an assassin main when they’re already crying over assassin nerfs

ritualist: please keep the mask on. You’re skin looks dreadful

acolyte: I look forward to seeing your photos on r/blunderyears in a few years time

 

riftwalker: You're pretty out of shape, seeing how winded you are right now.

 

Yes but actually no. You are insulting the player not the mobs k?

 

Acolyte - totem sucking the life out of you like you do to everyone else (idk - smth along those lines)

Sharpshooter - you should focus on getting some bitches

Ritualist - that's what demascus

 

sorry if i am slow
there is a lot of inputs
and i cant get out as many outputs as necesary to support the in puts rn

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updated :like:

 

Arcanist: Your build is nothing without Winded.

Paladin: Your DPS is adorable / You're never gonna be a real tank / It's good that you can be played on autopilot, 'cause nobody's gonna play you.

 

RAE RAER ARER AREEAWETAETFAEF

 

Riftwalker: you have winded, but where's the rift and where are you walking