Bullshit Your Way To Victory

hey i didnt attack i just threw them on the ground for yall to use

 

nice

 

i eat craig

 

You eat him, but he doesn't die. Instead, he rips himself out of your chest, and you explode.

 

im dead now
:(

 

so now im a bunch of sentient pieces of enderman flesh
doesnt seem :) to me

 

thanks

 

I acquire some real estate in the Nether, and put it on sale

 

I buy all of it and pay in shiny nether rocks

 

I use the shiny nether rocks to make a really cool candle

 

I light the candle by poking it and it creates a vigorous popping sound, igniting. Neither the rocks nor wick are consumed by the flame.

 

I steal the candle and put it in the city, which eventually burns down to ash and lava because nobody was able to extinguish it.

 

I turn a bunch of totems of undying into powder and mix the powder with a rain cloud and rain down magical rain to rebuild the city.

 

I maked Trapinch0 public enemy number one and send 1000 floridamen to track him down (there are at least 99000 floridamen still protecting the city)

 

Due to their lack of intelligence, I befuddle the Florida men into abandoning their posts and make them turn upon their previous controllers - ManicInsanity, Potatomancer, and Mardeknius. The three of you are forced to move north to flee the Florida men (because, of course, as legend tells, the fabled "Florida men" are prevented from leaving the state of Florida by a mysterious force (and yes, this does mean that the city is in Florida)), and on your journey north, all three of you happen to trip on the same rock and fall into a bottomless pit. I then take over the city and set up guards which are all wearing https://hppeng-wynn.github.io/build...ZR0Jc0WQ1O0i0t1b0Q1g000010000Ozz++++-j-jNVXiF so that Mardeknius cannot attack them (for they would be attacking their favourite build, which, of course, is unacceptable).

 

The Floridamen think I’m Donald Trump, so therefore they cannot turn on me, and therefore the above events are impossible.
The Floridamen build a wall around you, and make the Mexicans pay for it.

The Floridamen tailing Trapinch0 find him, arrest him, and escort him back to the city.

 

I tell the Floridamen that you are in danger and outside the city and they run to try to save you, allowing me to hide.

 

I transmit a message via telepathy to tell them this is fake news, and they find you before you can get a good hiding spot.

 

I strike out on a search of my own. This means I am no longer actively defending the city, leaving it in the capable hands of my two fellow triarchs. I will return eventually, but I tell nobody what I am doing before I leave.

 

I transform the walls into a Wendy's and give all of the Florida men alligators. They proceed to throw said alligators through the windows of the Wendy's, destroying it. I then take over the city using Emus and bribe the Florida men with ammunition to come over to my side.