Protect the Sandwich 2

Time to recover Sandwich A (half of it).

I go to the local blacksmith and buy various heat-resistant steel parts to build a pulley system to lift the burnt sandwich out of the volcano. As (ordinary) pulleys do not use electricity, and magic isn't being used, neither of the volcano's defenses work. However, as there is a lot of heat in a volcano, I make sure to make the pulley out of materials that resist heat and place the area where I would stand far enough away from the volcano. In addition, I order a heatproof set of armor to allow myself to survive close enough to the volcano (but not in the volcano) to set up the pulley system. In addition, I create an alloy of various materials to create a special rope and bucket capable of withstanding the lava's heat (While the rope was created using magic, the rope itself has no magical properties and therefore is unaffected by the antimagic field).

I then use a time travel spell to temporarily transport myself to shortly after you placed the sandwich in the volcano, far enough away to avoid the antimagic field and the volcano's heat. I then begin setting up the pulley system after locating the sandwich. I attach the special bucket to the end of special rope facing the volcano, then feed the rope through the pulley system created. Once the rope is fully inside the system, I slowly send the bucket into the blazing heat of the lava and eventually finds what is likely the remains of the sandwich and pull the bucket back up using the pulley system. While it could be any ordinary burnt remains, the ashes pulsate with a powerful magic when moved away from the antimagic field, and upon casting a repair spell (to restore the "sandwich", not to reunite the halves of Sandwich A), I find a perfectly normal Sandwich A, besides the fact that the bread that makes up the sandwich is now literal toast. Upon reinforcing the spells placed on the sandwich by me (earlier, when I first got Sandwich A), I return back to the present.

I decide that puzzles won't do the trick, so I instead lock it behind a much more challenging... challenge.
Using ancient magic, I create an army of magic constructs made from top quality dernic ingots and other rare materials. The army is split up into four groups:

• 1/2 of the army uses swords with a special enchantment that locks anyone hit from using magic for 24 hours. The sword can also cut straight through most ordinary solid matter. They can also throw their swords, which act like a boomerang when thrown.
• 1/4 of the army is equipped with a special bow that fires arrows that pierce through any armor or magic, damaging the target directly.
• 1/8 of the army is equipped with very bulky equipment and very high stats (and a whole lot of magic) that brings their health to well over 30 million and has +2000 defense in every element, alongside a random weapon (dagger, spear, wand, bow, relik) with 2000 damage in all elements and a "Super Fast" attack speed.
• 1/8 of the army is equipped with a modified +13000/3s Toxoplasmosis that cannot damage allies and has extra equipment to boost their attack speed to Super Fast. And yes, they have the ability to heal allies with their totem ability (as they are Shamans, which is the required class to use Toxoplasmosis).

All of the constructs are immune to attacks that kill in 1 hit. Any time one of the constructs is destroyed, it implodes, vaporizing any unallied entities. If any of their weapons or armor are picked up by any unallied entity, it releases a shockwave that stuns the victim for 24 hours and returns to its owner via teleporting. All of the constructs are immune to brainwashing, as they are magic constructs.

I then place (my half of) the sandwich in a safe that can only be opened or broken by defeating every single construct in my army. The safe is also immune to any magic placed onto it until it is opened. In addition, the safe and (my half of) the sandwich cannot be moved in any way until it is opened.

I will also defend the safe if any enemies approach by casting various elemental spells based on what I think you're weak against, and will use any of my constructs' weapons (anti-magic sword, piercing bow, random elemental weapon and Toxoplasmosis) if necessary. I also cast a protection spell on myself that prevents me from taking fatal damage as long as the sandwich is still in my possession.

this took me an hour to write

 

I teleport inside of the safe, take the sandwich, and teleport out. The safe is immune to magic and being opened, but the inside isn’t.
I take the half of sandwich A and use flex tape to attach it to the other half of sandwich A, using mind magic on the Wizard to cause him to trust me. I wait for another previous owner of Sandwich A to aid in the repair spell and call @DungeonBee and @Potatomancer to my aid. Until the sandwich is in the process of being repaired, the flex tape is indestructible and the sandwich halves are permanently stuck together.

 

The sandwich cannot be moved in any way until it is opened. Read the 2nd last section.

This did not happen.

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In addition, to prevent similar tactics from happening, there is now an antimagic field around the safe that prevents any form of magic from being used except if it was used by me.

 

I toss a miniature black hole into the middle of the constructs. They are rapidly crushed into more black hole, and soon there are no constructs left.
I then destabilize the black hole, causing it to explode and regurgitate a strangely unharmed, but openable, safe. I open the safe, take the sandwich half, and do as I said previously with the sandwich half.

 

I use a magic device that I created that can track any item that has been affected by magic as long as a part of it remains. As you left a small crumb of Sandwich A, I used that to track the sandwich down. Upon finding the wizard, I immediately assume that the wizard is under some sort of spell and use magic to lift the mind magic used on him. This immediately angers him (this isn't the first time he was tricked) and causes him to cast various spells to destroy the unspecified place you were hiding and (after calming down) teleport both of us out with both halves of the sandwich, which are stuck together using magic flex tape.

However, I soon realize that while the flex tape is indestructible, the sticky part of the tape can wear out. So, I cast another spell on the tape to make it age faster, then tear the sandwich halves out of the tape. Some of the sandwich's bread got stuck on the tape, but besides that the sandwich is unharmed. I cast a completely normal regeneration spell to restore the missing part of the sandwich's bread. Once again, the sandwich is halved.

I give the wizard his half back (refer back to my previous post on how he guarded the sandwich half) and try finding a better place to hide my sandwich.

Eventually, I decide on the best possible place to put it, which is in a pocket dimension. So, I create one. The only way in is through a portal hidden at the top of the Tower of Ascension. This dimension contains absolutely nothing except infinite breathable air and an invisible and unbreakable floor that stretches on to the ends of this dimension. In addition, all teleportation magic is disabled and the only way out is by going through the exit portal in the center of this dimension. Somewhere in this dimension, there is a gate that leads into the "Sandwich Room". You must find it first before going into it, and as this dimension is nearly infinite (roughly 10^1000km in all directions from the center) you must find a way to locate it.

Entering this gate presents you with five challenges to prove your worth for my sandwich.

• Challenge 1: Once again, a very long gauntlet of puzzles from Wynncraft featuring various high level enemies and bosses. However, there will also be Void Bombs (my own personal creation) that spawn regularly, and their explosion will instantly kill any living entity in range (around the size of a Minecraft TNT explosion).
• Challenge 2: A parkour room that disables speed, jump boost and abilities, featuring several 4-block jumps in a row and the devastatingly difficult "Triple Neo" (search it up lol) near the end.
• Challenge 3: An "Escort" room (Refer to Undergrowth Ruins) where you must guide a golem through a dangerous tunnel, defending it from mobs and activating pathways to allow the golem to travel safely. The golem dies in 10 hits, or instantly if it falls off of its pathway. Missing pathways are created by parkouring your way to the top of a room and defeating a powerful Key Guardian to unlock the pathway. Near the end, ranged enemies spawn, meaning you must take the hits for the golem (they do a lot of damage) or find a way to reach the ranged enemies before the golem dies.
• Challenge 4: Survive for 5 minutes against infinitely respawning powerful enemies with strong knockback attacks and abilities such as Multihit and Push. Around the edges of the survival arena is a bottomless pit, and falling into it results in a failure. At 1 minute left, various Eldritch Outlook mobs will spawn alongside The Eye. In addition, failing to defeat enemies fast enough will cause the arena to shrink.
• Challenge 5: A 1v1 (Choose your strongest fighter) fight against the almighty Sandwich Watcher, armed with three different weapons: A hammer that creates shockwaves wherever it lands, a Toxoplasmosis with infinite poison duration and Void Bombs (Once again, it only takes one bomb to instantly kill any living entity, but the ones used by the Sandwich Watcher cannot harm him). The Sandwich Watcher has around 50 million HP and has no resistances or weaknesses. The Sandwich Watcher's weapons will teleport back to him if they are stolen. Defeating the Sandwich Watcher and his gauntlet of challenges legitimately will grant you the half of Sandwich A willingly.

Additionally, the Sandwich Watcher is immune to any form of mind control or any spell that would allow the challenger to receive the Sandwich earlier than they are supposed to, or make the challenges easier. If the almighty Sandwich Watcher finds you cheating your way through the challenges (the Sandwich Watcher is capable of observing your challenges from anywhere, so it's impossible to cheat without getting caught), you will be locked in this dimension for eternity with no way into the Sandwich Room or the exit portal. Simply failing the challenges, however, will lock you out of this pocket dimension for 30 days. Essentially, you have no choice but to complete all challenges legitimately.

 

The sandwich halves are permanently stuck together, regardless of the flex tape, so you are incapable of separating them until they are mended. Please reconsider your defenses and please stop making massive gauntlets of challenges. This isn’t Zzyzx, this is literally two pieces of bread with peanut butter and jelly between them. The point of a game is to be enjoyable, and saying effectively “I delete your monsters, solve your puzzles and spend years doing it” over and over isn’t very fun. Please make challenges that are at least relatively simple in comparison to what you are currently attempting to present or, as per the rules, I will simply ignore the post, as these defenses are starting to exit the realm of “never say no within reason.”

 

If you say so this is what happens when I have too much time on my hands
Just ignore anything I said in the previous post, I have a new thread to main now

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in other words, don't expect any more posts from me on this thread anytime soon because I'm out of ideas (that aren't extremely complicated)

 

Firstly, let me address this

I would say that the post in question is within reason, as it follows the rules, but I strongly recommend making less long-winded defenses. I would also recommend not simply using monsters as a defense, for they are going to get deleted one way or another.

From my experience, try to tell a story with your defenses, there is no such thing as a defense that is too strong or weak, so long as everyone is having fun. Remember: this game has few rules, and most of them are to ensure that there are two sandwiches and that the game runs smoothly. Try mixing things up with your defenses, if one kind doesn't work, try a different kind. Moving the sandwich around and creating reoccurring themes and events (ex. dogs, robbing the trade market) can also work.

Remember: If a defense seems difficult, you can always BS through it.

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Alright, I'm gonna write these in a different format so it's easier for people who haven't participated in a while to understand what is happening (You don't have to use this format.)

Sandwich: Sandwich B
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Stealing:

In Kyrgyzstan, I find a powerful magic relic and enchant it with an incredibly strong spell that can break physics as we know it. When used, I am brought to a location of my choice at many many times the speed of light, but only if that location is within sight proximity.
I sneak past the guard of the black hole and enter the black hole. At the last possible moment before I'm too spaghettified to activate the relic, I go to the sandwich, which is technically within sight, as it is at the center of the black hole. I die to the black hole and I go to Death's realm. As I have defeated Death, I can revive myself, and I go to my nearest spawn location.
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Hiding:

I cast a spell on Sandwich B so that it will always slowly move towards me. Reverting this spell will cause it to explode with five times the power of the Tsar Bomba. It follows me around as I do my day-to-day activities, open for the taking.

 

I cast a spell to encase Penguinboy4 within an antimagic field from the other side of the world, so when the spell explodes, I am a safe distance away. Afterward, I send Sandwich B into a thousand-mile-deep borehole in the desert, covered with a boulder and an antimagic field.

 

I turn against the wizard and assassinate him, taking the flex-taped sandwich A.

Then, closing it inside of polypropylene packaging I throw it in a large hole in the ground filled with battery acid.

 

Sandwich B
Obtaining: I hire a team of strongmen with pickaxes, shovels, and perfectly heat-insulated and pressure-insulated suits who dig down next to the hole (bypasses the antimagical field and 1000-mile hole) to dig around the boulder (bypasses boulder).

Protecting: I then mechanically create a box that removes Coulomb's force (gravitational force between pieces of matter) within it, deconstructing anything that enters it into parts of atoms and I place the sandwich inside. (though you could just take the box if you want which would count as obtaining the sandwich) Then, I throw the box into a bag of holding (search D&D bag of holding 5e for more details on how the item works) and place the bag on the podium where it was originally with a note.

On the note is a drawing of a chibi neko that says "Try doing some research on atomic physics " (fyi last sentence is irrelevant to the puzzle, just more lore)

 

I take the bag of holding and turn it inside out, scattering the box about 5 feet away. I grab it, turn it upside down, and open it cautiously. The sandwich falls out, indestructible and intact. I then warp it into a computer simulation. It can only be recovered with a specialized remote that I ate (I am made of lava). Therefore, retrieving the sandwich requires you to track down a puddle of sentient, moving lava and recover the remote from inside a puddle of sentient, moving lava.

 

The bag of holding never spills objects out, you’ll have to take it out a different way. (Ie reach in and grab it)

EDIT: the rest of the solution is fine

 

“If the bag is turned inside out, its contents spill forth, unharmed, but the bag must be put right before it can be used again.”
I meant to say turn it inside out, but yeah, minor detail.

 

hmmm, no game no life reference anyone?

 

Yep that works

 

(this entire solution is based off of the basis that the sandwich doesn't dissolve in the acid. If it does, ignore the obtain solution below as I locate every atom of carbon-12 []and use it to reconstruct the molecular pattern of the sandwich)

I again hire my team of strongmen to dig a massive chamber to the side of the acid pool, large enough to fit all the acid. I then install a filter that does not let the sandwich pass through it, and connect the two holes through this filter. however, to prevent the acid from damaging the environment, I dig a borehole and plug it with many capsules made of different materials so it does not escape. then, with all the acid drained, only the sandwich remains.

I then pick up the sandwich and construct an interdimensional vessel to house the sandwich. This vessel constantly pings its own location to every plane of existence (to keep things interesting). Three fields of magic surround the sandwich itself:
1. the sandwich cannot be teleported through an installed magical barrier
2. the sandwich and the vessel move as one inseparable item unless manually deactivated through brute force
3. the sandwich and the vessel are transported to a random plane of existence if there is any change in the total amount of magical energy, matter, mechanical energy, or any set value of something on that plane of existence (this means if you teleport yourself or anything else onto the plane of existence the vessel will teleport away)

Another three barriers of mechanical creations surround the sandwich:
1. The sandwich cannot be teleported through an installed mechanical barrier
2. The vessel has a barrier that allows it to travel undamaged through multiple planes. The vessel can only withstand 10 more planar teleportations after this barrier is removed
3. the vessel houses a backup system to create the same series of actions as the third magic field, but can only undergo 50 planar teleportations before exploding.

Please make a ridiculous solution for my ridiculous hiding idea :+1:

 

I teleport to the astral plane and add a brick to every world until Sandwich A appears in my hands. If it appears in my hands before 50 dimensions have been passed through, I keep adding more bricks. I then teleport myself, and then Sandwich A without the vessel (because it exploded) back to Earth, remove the third field of magic surrounding the sandwich, then cast a spell to prevent anyone from getting to it until they post a reply that does not break rule 4 of The Game of Mao.

here's ur ridiculous solution.

 

Why does the vessel explode? I didn’t see anything to trigger that barrier..

 

if it doesn't explode the entire vessel then I'll throw the sandwich and the vessel into the sinkhole from Bullshit Your Way to Victory