Experiment: Protect The Sandwich

I steal the other copies, then I make you eat all of them, and you throw up again - and I hire an item identifier to identify the true sandwich. I enter a different universe, where I am a god. I put the sandwich inside a temple built with bedrock, then I put fifteen thousand soldiers to guard the sandwich, and I put many traps into the temple.

 

Bro i am also a god, but the strongest of all of them in the multi-verse. I single handedly destroy everything and take the sandwich to eat it again... but i eat very slowly this time and i can't puke

 

I fire a heat ray gun to your skin, after enchanting the sandwich inside you with fire protection IV. Now, you incinerate, and the sandwich's parts drop down. I glue them together with magic powers and I eat them myself

 

What. I respawn and i grab your mouth and put my hand in it to take the sandwich. I then put the sandwich in my inv and log off.

 

Entry XIX
​

It appears that my sandwich was taken through the power of taking it. No worries, I used the MinecraftAccountHackMachine to obtain your email and password. I login on your account and put the sandwich back on Club Penguin Island. There I hire a language arts teacher to guard the sandwich. The sandwich is locked in a container that is impossible to open unless you are the language arts teacher. To acquire the sandwich, you need to write a paper on how you accessed Club Penguin Island that is at least seven complete sentences, using proper spelling, capitalization, and punctuation. You must score an eighty or higher, but you get an extra five points per complete sentence.

 

i hack ur account then i take the sandwich ur ur account that i hacked with my account that u hacked and i ate the sandwich

 

The language arts teacher does not open the sandwich case as you scored a 0, also I do not have access to the sandwich, only the teacher has access.

 

BRO I HAD PERFECT LANGUAGE WTF

 

Requirement lowered to 6 sentences.

 

i do the test again

 

Basically the way this is supposed to work is the way you get to the teacher has to be six sentences and follow all the rules I mentioned earlier. That is how you take the sandwich.

 

I learn some things from school to pass the test. I then venture a bit to learn from a very epic teacher who will teach me english. After 20 years, i fully master english and i come back to take the test. I pass the test and pay respects to the teacher. I brag to everyone i know that i passed the test. I then take the sandwich and eat it.

 

Entry LXXIV​

I watch in horror. The pawn leader, whose name I have forgotten in the past two decades, has made the one crucial mistake. He ate the sandwich. My plans were unfolding perfectly, but this was unprecedented. Nothing mortal or immortal, animate or inanimate, could survive consuming that sandwich. That sandwich has been everywhere, from pedestals, to dogs, to 489 AP, to eldritch demons, it even was up someone's b*tt. Suddenly, the pawn implodes. I know what will happen from my extensive research in the past 20 years. I have 5.265 seconds to take cover. I hide under a desk, as all American students from the 50s and 60s should know that they provide infinite protection. Suddenly, the single point of the imploded pawn explodes in a fiery shockwave. I grab the sandwich, but my turmoil is not yet over. The shockwave reaches the hottest point in the universe. It gets so hot that the wavelengths of the electromagnetic radiation emitted become shorter than the Planck Length. The universe begins to collapse. I will not have another universe fall. I use an unnamed machine to warp the universe back 20 years. The forms of me and the sandwich replace our forms from back then. I then find a few thousand penguins and give them supernova-rifles, a weapon I haven't used in a while. They guard the sandwich on a spaceship orbiting Club Penguin Island.

 

i respawn and i rekt ur guards with the power of seals and i come to where u are and beat you up and force you to stop using the entry thingies. I then eat the sandwich over and over and over again until i stop imploding and i can withstand eating it with practice. I then eat the sandwich 1 last time and i do not implode as i used the legendary power of practice

 

Entry LXXV
(I refuse to stop)
​

There he is, the leader of pawns. I could shoot him with my Supernova-Glock, but that would make the sandwich near unreachable. The seals are all dead, but they unfortunately served as a good distraction. Good thing I had twenty years to think this battle out. In Entry LXIX, I explained the schematics for the spaceship. Now it's time to put the vault defenses to use. From the left comes an army of puffles, from the right, an army of wybels. From the top, comes nine very vicious, very cute animals, and from the bottom rises the leaders of the Elite Penguin Force. Within seconds, the pawn is obliterated, as the sandwich made him incredibly unstable. However, he implodes under the force of the sandwich. Thankfully, the vault can contain massive shockwaves, so the army exits the vault for a minute or so. When we come back, all that remains is the sandwich. I teleport the sandwich into the center of the largest star in the universe.

 

Wot, anway, i tp to the largest star and do stealth mission in case of guards. I then rekt the star in 1 shot cuz am op and i take the sandwich and i locate you. After i find you, i kidnap you and force you to eat the sandwich. You then implode and i take the sandwich from your remains. I put the sandwich in my super secret un stealable pocket.

 

Entry LXXVI​

I have made a lot of inventions in my quest for the sandwich. My personal favorite of these inventions was the Counter Implosion Device. Granted, it takes three days to deploy, but it's nice to know that if I implode, It will be reversed. Another invention is the Sandwich Yoinker 2.0, which seeks out the sandwich and yoinks it from supposedly impossible to steal from places. I then tape a massive bomb to the sandwich, so that if it is removed or the sandwich is touched, it detonates, destroying anything in it's path.

 

i toomch the sandwich, i am immowtaw so i no get rekt. I then shit on the sandwich’s existence so that everyone will be grossed out to even touch it.

 

When the bomb detonates, all the feces is removed from the sandwich. I then put the sandwich in a pool of a nice blend of anti-immortality serum, cyanide, and primed nuclear explosives.

 

As i am imowtaw, i geab the sandwich and i somehow not drink all of whatever is in there