Bullshit Your Way To Victory | 3 D* |

I turn all of the citizens into Axolotls and give myself water breathing so it does nothing.

 

I turn all of the citizens into your mom, and give myself medusa resistance so I don't turn to stone when I look at them. I then set them up as guards.
I then storm into the city and take it.

 

I replace the city and everyone in it with nanobots under my control

 

I throw the city into a black hole, then since Hawking radiation can radiate out in practically any kind of energy, it happens to radiate back out the city by complete random chance (I think that's how it works). I then become ruler of the new city and build a 1.5 block tall wall of wooden slabs.

 

Once this event happens, probability gives up, and you get struck by lightning, leaving me free to take the city.

 

I get struck by lightning but I survive, and even if you're free to take the city you didn't say that you had done so, so I still have control of the city.

 

As soon as you get struck by lightning, my army attacks the city, but you're too wounded to defend it. I then issue an official announcement proclaiming that I own the city, avoiding any confusion.

 

I go to my housing island which has infinite hpr so I'm no longer wounded, and I use a build that has freerunner, archer speed, and 400 ws to go fast enough that I take apart the city and then rebuild it somewhere else (and proclaim myself as the ruler) before you notice anything.

 

Fortunately, I took the liberty of bribing giant spiders to spin webs around the city, which you can't dodge because you're going too fast. The spiders are getting hungry, so good luck!

 

It's convenient that they're hungry, since I bought some extra... spider food... to feed my pet... spider... and I give it to them.
That exists, right?
Anyway, they decide that I'm more worthy than you, and they imprison you in an infinite loop by moving the IP entrance so that every time you get kicked out of the dungeon for not having a key, you respawn right at the entrance and get teleported again. I then become ruler.

 

Luckily, a key guardian spawns right on top of the entrance, meaning I enter the dungeon and recruit the Eye, which apparently hates you for some reason. With it's magic eye powers, I retake the city.

 

It's "its" and not "it's" in that situation.
Anyway, I get a perfect poison Toxo (since apparently I have really good luck) and make a really good build using it, I then solo the eye and take over the city.

 

I convince Salted to accept Novalescent's improved PvP system, massively nerfing toxo. I then easily defeat you and retake the city.

 

I convince you to do CLS with me and then I knock you into the lava which does disproportionate damage so you die, leaving me free to take the city.
Which I then do (almost fell for my own trap there lol).

 

I equip king of hearts and spam heal until the server resets, then join a different server where garoth chases me into the lava and dies before you can log onto my server. I then return to the city just in time to stop you from taking it.

 

I'm never going to let you get away with not specifically stating that you take the city. Even if you stop me from taking it, you don't take it yourself, and I just try again and succeed.

 

By that logic, I take ownership of all you're property because you never specifically stated you own it. I then destroy you with your own toxoplasmosis and retake the city.

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Also yes I claim ownership of the city and all of mine and your property.

 

I re-establish slavery and claim ownership over you, and then take all my stuff (and your stuff) back (as well as the city), and then un-establish slavery and claim ownership over everything.

 

Claiming ownership over everything means that you claim ownership over other humans, breaking the rule that slavery is illegal. I secretly then created police robots to arrest you and hand everything you own(except the people, who are set free) over to me.

 

The prison that I was sent to was the Forbidden Prison (quest great btw 10/10), which I escape easily using the same methods as in the quest, and then steal all of your stuff and destroy the police robots, and employ the piranha guards as my bodyguards and I'm using my mind control so they can't be bribed.