Describing Every Single Boss In Wynncraft Through Arbitrary Means

SkiesUnknown · Jul 10, 2021

Yes, this is a stupid idea. I had nothing better to do so I just thought to do this because funny.

Also I'm pretty sure nobody is gonna recognize like 2/3rds of the bosses on this list but whatever lol.

The Energy Mushroom has dropped!

Casually watches some dude go through one of the most over the top deaths from rat poison.

Why does this guy look so much like Death.

Don't mind me while I just stand on this 2 block tall wall while I fight you.

Dude literally lost the chance to become invincible to mushrooms lol.

Are you sure we're doing the right thing killing her? I mean she isn't that bad.

Imagine your entire legacy as just being the guy who was always known as someone else's brother

Why do you deal so much damage for a lvl 21 boss.

"Bruh it's just a chicken, how hard can this be?"

This guy literally summons an entire legion of corrupt to assault Elkurn and loses to just 2 randoms patrolling the bridge.

Why do you never spawn where you're supposed to.

Colossal Rat my Beloved.

"Yes lets just have a ton of narrow platforms for people to sneak through all throughout the ceilings of my hideout it's not like I'm a wanted criminal that people would likely want to kill."

You think a little kid has played this quest and got upset over them killing Santa.

Dude fuck off just let me defuse the TNT without you charging at me for 2 seconds.

Durum Protector but Walmart Edition.

Still a more engaging fight than Amadel.

Hopefully these guys won't notice me completely destroying their totem guards to bring back the other's belongings.

Why do we have to kill it? Can't we just steal one of its eggs and head back to that weirdo working for the Temple of Legends?

Underwhelming ToA boss #1

Underwhelming ToA boss #2

At least this guy can spawn the clone to make things interesting.

Underwhelming ToA boss #3

Underwhelming ToA boss -oh, ok cool just one shot me with your charge.

Underwhelming ToA boss #4

Hey there pal, I hope you like fighting a boss with a bloated health bar while having to deal with every other boss from earlier.

Dude can you please hurry up and die there's someone else here that's spamming arrow storm and I want to leave

Dude this lady is just hanging out in her house with a flower, how can you even remotely consider this morally right to kill her?

Hey she has a pretty cool hat, can I have it? No? ok :(

Who even are you? Are you supposed to be Marius or some random schmuck.

Why was I created I am in endless pain.

Time to beat a child.

How is it that Troms just completely ignores what this guy is working on.

Like dude this guy has a literal giant plant monster in his basement and the only people even remotely suspicious of him are some random ass kids in a treehouse.

Is this really the best they could come up with, at least have some corrupt holding it or something.

Baby's first superboss, at least it's the only part of this quest that's even remotely enjoyable.

Imagine having the power to completely wipe out all life in the world, and you get your ass handed to you by some random lvl 70. Always remember kids, no matter how much you screw up sometimes, you'll never go as low as this chump.

The Parasite but Walmart Edition.

wait didn't I already make this joke?

People today will never know the endless horrors of having to fight this guy during the era of 1.12.

So wait, is this guy corrupted or dernic? he drops a corrupted pearl, but it's supposed to be used to expose darkness, oh who even cares this boss is a joke anyways.

Mate you know you could've just froze me then killed me, you didn't have to make this fancy ass arena for us to fight in that gives me the chance to kill you.

The virgin Aledar vs. The chad Tasim.
Like dude seriously Aledar just has a complete temper tantrum while Tasim is just like "oh Aledar died, ok guess I'll try harder now lol."

You ok there bud? you're acting kinda weird.

Don't mind me while I casually just waltz in and behead every single one of your leaders for money.

You sure these guys are supposed to be dumber than villagers? This guy literally runs off with one of your most dangerous possessions and you can't even put together who they are without they help of a human.

Who would even think of putting the weak spots of a mech on the legs? like come on man literally any other spot would work better.

Oh these guys are villagers? Yikes. Wonder what schmuck is turning them into golems.

This quest is still the unfunniest garbage in this game.

Like it genuinely baffles me why this quest has not been permanently removed. It doesn't deserve to stay at all.

Holy fuck dude how has Olux not been completely abandoned at this point, this place must be literal hell to live in.

Do you really think beating her half to death is gonna make the effects wear off? Wait it did? oh ok, I guess that works then.

Do people even try to fight this boss without camping in a corner or hiding under something? Because I sure as hell haven't.

Why are you attacking me? Why don't you pay attention to that weird ass elf lady, I'm already being pestered by these spiders.

Urelix you gotta do better than 12 Emerald Blocks man, that's like a poor mans bribe even for someone living in Olux.

Is this guy even affected by the Darkness? he still looks like a villager when he gets struck.

Wait the wiki lists this guy as a boss? He just seems like a normal enemy to me

what, are you... I get that the other enemies around here are spirits of dead people but you're just, ew.

warm fleris.

You're telling me nobody in Gelibord has even tried to actually stop the issue of the risen bodies around the area?

I hope you managed to click the right one and tell them their cat "survived"

I know the game brings this up too but like, why does us killing him give us his blessing? like this dude definitely does not act like he would.

funny meme boss guys please laugh

Lady please stop trying to kill me I just want to save the weird dog thing.

Lets ignore the fact that an entire underground species is on the verge of extinction thanks to the Parasite hatchlings.

So wait, if everything we're doing here is staged, is this thing acting too, or were the elves just lucky enough for this thing to act in a way that helps with their plan.

Why is this guy a golem? Do the Skyraiders just have golems as captains or am I just overthinking.

Is this lady supposed to be the Skyraider queen? it'd make sense considering they need a new one not much later.

Colossal Rat but walmart edition

oh hey this joke again

Why does every species in Eastern Gavel have the iq of a walnut.

You think anyone else besides us have discovered what the Gerts really are?Because it's kinda fucked up when you think about it.

Actually nevermind this dude literally just ate some random villager right in front of us.

Honestly who cares both villagers and gerts are pretty stupid.

You fool.

You buffoon.

Why did you have to go the greed route.

Ok I genuinely think this guy is one of the lamest bosses in the game screw this.

Mate can you slow down I want to stunlock you to death.

sheep.

I was honestly expecting a clown skin but this works too I guess.

Hey this thing has a nice hat too, can I have it? No? ok fuck you.

Dude can you go away I want to watch Lari and Bak'al have an anime battle.

ok besides Yahya I seriously am confused as to why this thing of all the bosses got chosen for LI, this thing has like no importance to the story what so ever.

Every melee user that's going to fight this edge lord at level is gonna have the worst experience of their life.

Ok Gale look, you're a pretty cool person, but please stop clipping through the walls every time I fight you for gods sake.

Why do the bugs in here pose more of a threat than the actual boss

I hate wave spell.

Mate can you like not spam Pull into Flamethrower I actually want to enjoy myself.

Ok I'm gonna be completely genuine with this, Qira is one of the best bosses and characters in the game. But yeah that's it, back to unfunny jokes.

Why is this the thing that guards all of Thanos' money, are the dwarves just that lazy to protect their own wealth.

This guy is canonically a furry.

Why is this quest the way it is.

Hey buddy you mind just standing over there and be oblivious while I break this flims pillar for no particular reason.

These guys were really the best the Dwarven armies had to offer? I clapped all of them without breaking a sweat.

If you were to ask me what the purest form of a disappointment would be I'd show you this loser.

This guy just casually has the map to an island that is a gateway to Dern itself and he's just camping out in some random ass area near Jofash Docks.

I don't think Jack killing some magic lady for beans was part of the tale.

Who is this chump even working for? Are they a combat dummy for the Skyraiders to use for their tests or are they serving someone else?

confused rat.

Why did Skien just accept this random ass cow that Bob gave him, he's always been extremely paranoid so wouldn't it make sense for him to question it even slightly?

This is the "great military leader?" I was kinda expecting more from this freak. it's totally not like there's another version of him that I'm gonna see later right?

Bob why did you have to put Baab here, in a cave, in a region of the ocean that almost nobody lives in, in a place where everything spams push spell.

You'd think these bots would've chosen better spots to hide.

Like seriously why'd they run into caves with dead ends and not just back to the lighthouse where they were built.

The puzzle you have to do before this thing is harder than any quest from Corkus as a whole.

Seeing how this thing is called "Big Boss" I'm mildly annoyed the lesser 3 bots weren't referred to as Snakes.

What do all you "Patriots" hate so much about us like god damn, I understand we aren't exactly great but yeesh, sending in a drug enhanced dude after us is kinda rude.

Why do we even need a key to open the factory doors?

Can't we just break the door open with sheer force and not have to go through all this pointless fetching?

"BrO aVa'S cOmPleTeLy InNoCeNt ShE dId NoThInG wRonG."
-Ava Simps

Can you stop sniping me while I'm dealing with the other mech god damn.

"Why is there lightning around the arena? Surely it does nothing if I stand next to it right?"

I expected more from you.

Are we sure this thing will terrorize Wynn? It can't even break through a simple rock formation.

Panic Zealot but Walmart Edition

...huh

So wait you're telling me a bug somehow magically managed to create an illusion so genuine that it fooled one of the most skilled warriors in Wynn? it's just a bug...

Bro can you like go away I just want to go to Lutho and rest.

Stop giving me nausea you asshole.

This thing is supposed to be a "king?" yeesh.

How does this guy even manage to walk, he's literally standing on his head.

It has pretty wings at least.

So, is this thing modeled after Dern? Or is it just some random ass creature created by the expanse?

He's just standing there...

MENACINGLY

Lady chill, I just got here. Don't blame me for you dying in that raid.

How are you able to talk, you're a spider. I understand you're the queen but you're still just a spider.

This guy is so generically evil it's almost sad.

General Graken, I choose you!

Dude who is honestly gonna think you were the good guy, you literally killed your dad for some bullshit reason and caused endless sandstorms for centuries.

Hey cool, he actually realized the mistakes he made in the past and has come to peace with himself, I sure hope there's not a future version of this guy that ruins it.

You sacrificed children, you can't honestly be surprised when people turned on you when Bob showed up.

Fuck you, you absolute mistake of nature, you are the absolute worst thing this game has to offer and nobody will ever love something that is complete and utter garbage as you. Fuck off.

Do people really think the removal of them telling you to kill yourself "ruins" their character? like bruh lol, this thing gets better characterization in AHC compared to this.

Warriors are crying.

Did they even change the dialogue for this dungeon? I feel like half of the dialogue is still from the original.

They somehow made Garoth even more generically evil and the fight worse. Incredible work there.

Man the gimmick from the original UC was neat, I sure hope they don't replace it with a lame ass token grind.

oh.

"Master of the unexpected" as he still manages to telegraph every single attack he's about to use and fails to kill us.

You had to soil it didn't you. He's back to being an asshole again.

Boing.

May god have mercy on anyone who attempts to do this at level 20.

Haros stop running away to some random ass minion so I can kick your ass.

Ok lets be honest, who honestly does this altar besides archers wanting to get the biggest free win item in the game.

Holy fuck this fight is so hard, but it's worth it to get that sweet sweet MS chestplate right?

Hello mages come get your staff with the Major ID that only it has.

A tutorial boss altar, and nothing more.

Do people still remember this altar exists? it was hyped about the day 1.20.2 came out and now I see nobody talk about it.

To all the people with a Life/Mana Steal build, come get your free win. If you got negative in either, well, have fun suffering.

Stupid amounts of health regen is funny isn't it?

Hey there buddy, that's a nice elemental weapon you have there, it'd be a shame if something had a complete immunity to it huh?

Fuck this glitchy ass boss, it's not as garbage as Redbeard but it's still pretty trash.

Urdar is canonically a t3 sub on Adamastor's twitch channel.

"Aw, what a cute little thing, I sure hope it doesn't completely nuke me off the face of the earth with absurdly high damage attacks."

Still just as piss easy as the original.

Why is this guy so damn hard he's literally the 2nd boss in the run.

I'm still confused why this thing was chosen for LI, it's not that special.

I know making a boss with 10 phases will eventually get boring at some point, but it still doesn't mean I won't point it out.

What a waste of time. The unfunny meme boss is still unfunny.

"That's a nice health bar you got there, it'd be a shame if a certain multi hit were to destroy it completely."

What a joke lol.

Can we just acknowledge the fact that 3 out of the 5 swords in the fight are the T3 dagger sprites, they're not even trying to hide the fact that daggers are practically swords by the endgame.

Honestly this fight is so similar to the original besides the arena that I can't even think of anything to separate the two besides that.

Ok can we please realize how this dude somehow manages to PERFECTLY recreate some of the most powerful and dangerous beings in the world, like why aren't we using this absolute chad to help out with creating mechs to serve in the wars in Wynn and Gavel.

Do people ever actually do this fight at level? No? ok, well at least their theme fucking slaps.

Half of the time I can't even see what's going on, and half the time I'm dead to something I didn't even notice until 15 seconds later, but you get to pet the dog afterwards too so 10/10 raid.

Honestly the Sanitizing Void is harder than this little shit, at least they nerfed the damage from the void in this phase so it's not almost impossible to solo.

"Alright time to start the boss lets do this- oh, I'm already dead from the meteors."

Sir_Doomed · Jul 10, 2021

That was actually pretty accurate.
Remember to put in how the Matrojan Idol gets progressively more painful with a water build.

Selvut283 · Jul 10, 2021

SkiesUnknown said: ↑

Urdar is canonically a t3 sub on Adamastor's twitch channel.
Click to expand...

They're

literally husband and wife

are husbands simps now, is that what the concept of marriage has been reduced to

SkiesUnknown · Jul 10, 2021

Selvut283 said: ↑

They're

literally husband and wife

are husbands simps now, is that what the concept of marriage has been reduced to
Click to expand...

._. it was meant to be a joke

CucumberDaddy11 · Jul 10, 2021

ayo that was pretty amusing to read. thanks for the free entertainment <3

Lousyre · Jul 11, 2021

Phoenix Prince is missing.

the drink · Jul 11, 2021

warm_fleris

SkiesUnknown · Jul 11, 2021

Lousyre said: ↑

Phoenix Prince is missing.
Click to expand...

Here you go.

Mate you can't honestly blame the humans for everything that went wrong with you after they arrived, it's not their fault you were that dragged your people into a place that they couldn't survive, and then be mad that the humans didn't help you when your intention was to get away from them.

BurningAspect · Jul 11, 2021

accurate and i laughed bruh why do msgs have to be 10 characters or more!!

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Describing Every Single Boss In Wynncraft Through Arbitrary Means

SkiesUnknown skie HERO

Sir_Doomed Can't think of anything to put here

Selvut283 Circadian rhythm stuck on Tokyo time ♪ Music GM

SkiesUnknown skie HERO

CucumberDaddy11 Well-Known Adventurer HERO

Lousyre Famous Adventurer

the drink the CHAMPION

SkiesUnknown skie HERO

BurningAspect Travelled Adventurer CHAMPION