Wynncraft Irl

DISCLAIMER: Everything presented in this post is nothing but satire, I do not encourage nor endorse any of the behavior presented below, and even discourage it, as like I said, it's satire, so everything is blown out of proportion and stupidity is used for comedic purposes.

So, yesterday I was minding my own business, just playing some Wynncraft and grinding some dungeons. That was until I suddenly heard screams coming from my parents' room, I was quite confused, but just before I got up from my chair, I saw my step-dad come out of the room and leave the house, quite in a hurry. I went to check on my mom, who had a swollen eye and purple marks all around her body. It suddenly all made sense. My mom was Bak'Al, the infamous commander of the corruption from Wynncraft, my poor step-dad was probably trying to fight her off, what a hero! I must have played on the server so much that the game became reality, and with this newfound knowledge, I picked up a hammer from the kitchen (Alkatraz) and did what I had to do to fight off the corrupted beast, needless to say, I won the fight. I knew that my house was compromised, there probably were a thousand corruption roots growing beneath, and trying to warn other people wouldn't work due to my reputation of being "borderline autistic" and "mentally ill".I picked up some food supplies, quickly crafted some Wynncraft weapons, grabbed the air powder that my parents hid in their bedroom and went to an airport, leaving my step-dad behind because I knew he was powerful enough (probably rocking a mythic only build).

Spoiler: mom but corrupted

On my way to the airport something grabbed my attention, it was a little girl, dressed in a pink dress with a golden yellow crown, what a innocent, pretty girl, right? WRONG! That atrocity was the Queen of Fruma in disguise, no doubts! I hid in an alleyway and waited until her "parents" (the guards using a disguise) lowered their guard and looked away so that I could strike, pulling her by the arm into the dark; and you already know what happens next... I swiftly pulled my trusty Alkatraz from my backpack, while starring at her directly in the eyes, and made a simple question "hey m8, sorry to bother you rn but I heard you were an experienced player, could you pls rate my mythic?". To my surprise, she was quite confused, asking for her mommy and daddy, saying she had no idea what I was talking about, so I just knocked her out and stole her crown. I had actually forgotten that her guards would probably be looking for her, so before I could walk away a "cop" appeared (once again, a guard in disguise). Suddenly his mate talked trough the walkie-talkie and said "Mohamed, how's it going?", and he replied "I found the guy, but Jesus Christ, I need an ambulance for the girl, ASAP". My time was short and I had to react quickly, so to try and get on the guy's good side I, knowing that he was christian (he said "Jesus Christ"), tried to talk about that topic with him, but since he was arabic (his surname was Mohamed), I used my poor arabic, and I must have mispronounced something because he was startled and pointed his gun at me. I was instantly relieved, I thought that for sure he would've pulled something like a Singularity on me, anyways, he pulled the trigger a few times but all of the bullets missed because of my high agility, so I just took some smoke bombs from my backpack, threw them on the ground, and walked away (the alleyway wasn't actually a dead end lol).

Spoiler: evil fruman queen and her guard in disguise

I was really tired from everything that had happened so far, and I almost considered giving up since the airport was so far away. But just as I was beginning to lose hope, I saw a crippled man on a wheelchair. I seriously couldn’t believe my eyes, it was like I was dreaming, that man was Aledar on a cart. I approached him, and to my surprise, he was actually quite grumpy. He said: “hey kid, what are you doing around these parts of town?... You know what? Why don’t you go grab me some booze from the liquor store right on the other side of the street, I bet that the guy working there probably doesn’t care enough to not sell drinks to a child, plus you get to keep the change”. I was ecstatic, this was just like the actual game (I had to do a fetch quest)! Just like Aledar said, the man there couldn’t care less about the ethically of selling me beverage, so I just bought some bottles of booze to complete the quest and got myself some potions of healing (the guy said that it was “whiskey” or something, but I did feel very healed once I drank it, so who cares).

Spoiler: aledar in a cart

Now, after gaining back strength, I finally managed to get to the airport. And I was about to buy a ticket, when suddenly I remembered that I was a minor, so I couldn’t get on a plane alone. I was about to go home defeated, when, as if the luck of a four-leaf clover had imbued me, someone yelled out loud “EVERYONE, put your hands up in the air! That’s the suspect the police’s been looking for, he’s incredibly dangerous!”
Oh. My. God. Just like Wynncraft manifested itself into reality after I played it so much, I got Dream’s luck after watching so much of his content. I knew that shipping him with his underaged friends would eventually pay off!

Spoiler: popular among us youtuber dream and his friend who nobody cares about

And, just like the god I had become, I freely walked into an airplane, made myself comfy, and told the captain to take me to Dern, giving him a map and the coords.

Spoiler: mfw i get to beat the dernic beast irl

The end
(Btw, this post is heavily inspired by the "among us references irl" copypastas over there on reddit (more specifically r/copypasta), but watch out, viewer discretion is advised since what you'll find there is 18+ content.)

 

Real aledar cart exists you know?

 

holy crap this is insane

 

wait, why are there no corrupteds other than your mom, also your step-dad do be vibing with a cataclysm, a discoverer and a random mythic boot or full morph and already casually beat the dern beast first

 

I just saw your post with the aledar cart in it, goddamnit, so that guy I saw wasn't the real deal then

idk, probably bc the corruption roots had only affected her yet, or maybe my step-dad also beat the corruption out of other people. But there's no way he beat the dernic beast first, no one's strong enough to get over the minimum 5 quests requirement to get to the dungeon (withouth losing all will to live ofc)

 

He's level 9003, he could causally beat the dern beast. Also, he already got mythics in his sekret vault. (I'm his friend, we beat dern beast faster than u)

 

fixed it, meant to say ethically

 

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