Experiment: Protect The Sandwich

No, you are not accepted. I order your Grandmother to kill you with a batch of cookies. She fails, and only manages to poison you, - thus rendering you incapable of following us and the sandwich.

 

I rob the trade market a fourth time, buy 1/3 of the sandwich from ditsario, and steal the remaining 2/3 from the pedestal because no-one was defending or taking them. I then time travel back to 589 AP, and place it somewhere in the Nesaak Forest, mere milliseconds before Theorick freezes the place. I stop time, and place a Time-Stopper 4000 underneath the sandwich. The Time-Stopper is glued to the ground so that it cannot be picked up no matter what, the sandwich, however, can easily be picked up. If the sandwich is lifted from it's spot, Theorick freezes Nesaak and the person who picked up the sandwich dies.

 

Me and the bois being A N G E R Y, we go to your house and beat you up until you cant walk. Then we bury you in a grave. We then rob the nesaak bank for Ttheorick's staff and bring the mage guy from ice barrows. We then visit Asher's house and have a nice cup of tea, baguettes, lemons and cookies. We then go to the big ol' door and tp to 588 A.P, we live for 1 year with mage guy happy since he saw Theorick and talked with him, we then see you hide the sandwich then we also beat you up real good and throw you near a corruption spike full of zombies. We take the sandwich and go back to the pedestal and eat the finest baguettes, lemons, cookies, croissants and tea with my glorious meme army and darth vader.

 

My grandmother also gave me milk with the cookies. I drink the milk, and it cures the poison, according to Minecraft.

I invent my own version of the Proton Pack from Ghostbusters, specifically designed for trapping memes. I then recruit the entire population of France to attack you and get the sandwich, promising them their baguettes and croissants back. While they attack you, I suck the memes into the device. They give me the sandwich, and I fly up into space, throw the proton pack into the sun, and go visit a witch. She transforms the sandwich into a croissant. So now the game is “Experiment: Protect The Croissant”. I bring it to France along with all the French I recruited, and put the croissant at the top of the Eiffel Tower, guarded by the French, and high-tech defenses made from Star Wars stuff.

 

My sexy bisexual flirting arouses your French guards, and I treat them all to fine wine and they let me take the croissant (an excellent choice btw!) And I become a travelling lgbtqia hermit, taking the croissant to Pride Rallys around the world, dancing and flirting until I build an army of sweet people.

We go and live together in a house on Neptune.

 

wait, i thought we had an alliance >:<

 

A time rift occurred when the sandwich was reclaimed in March 589 AP despite being placed in Nesaak in October 589 AP. Due to this time rift, the sandwich returned to my possession and I was returned to the Nesaak forest. The croissant still exists, but the sandwich overwrites it's validity, as it's a sandwich. Being a penguin, the freezing didn't affect me, so I go back to the present day and place the sandwich on Venus. There is no protection other than the fact that the sandwich is on Venus. Venus can reach up to about 427 degrees Celsius (800 F) and the atmosphere is toxic. I also use the Counter-Planetary-Destroyer on Venus, so the planet cannot be obliterated.

 

ayyyy i got the finest croissant, lemon and baguette!!!!!
For the Lemon, i summoned THEE myself!!!
for the Baguette, i stole Six from the president of France!!!! i ate one thought and its very delicious!1!1!1!1!1!!1!1

And Finally the Croissant!1!1!1!!1 I made them myself and the greatest French cook approved!!!!!

They seem to be alive however

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wait didnt we bury you/beat you up till you cant walk or talk or move/throw you at a corruption spike full of zombies and watched you get eaten?

 

Mmm such fine and lovely cuisine, I pledge my life to you and the sandwich.

Yeah I think we did, but they used some potion to heal themselves and escape cus 1000 iq

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I got to Venus, and being Baby Yoda, create a shield around me using the Force so I don't die, and take the sandwich.

 

Yes you did, but you forgot to reclaim the sandwich in the exact moment in 589 AP that it was placed, causing a time reversal that brought me back to the sandwich.

With that being said, I rob the trade market a fourth time, board your spaceship before it reaches Earth, and open an LE. I use a minecraft shield to take no damage from the resulting explosion, and I take the sandwich. I then set up a trap so that if the sandwich is taken, a hammer shatters a stack of LE, which would result in a massive explosion. There is a cat next to the trap that will become incredibly vicious if it is harmed in any way.

 

I send in my good friend, old Mr Catle, and the cat like a him and claws the sandwich out of the explosion range and into his hands. He then gives it to me and I hide it in a supermarket.

 

I call Mr. Beast and ask him to buy all the things in the supermarket for charity. I take the sandwich, and the rest of the food is to be shipped to a homeless shelter. I put the sandwich in my house, and if the sandwich is taken, I will revoke my donation to the homeless shelter. The donation also includes 16 bank pages of LE that I got by robbing the trade market a fifth time.

 

I have no qualms or morals and take the sandwich back, but Mr Beast still gives the stuff to the homeless. Due to all of your stealing the Trade Market breaks and there is nothing left to steal. I put the sandwich in @Chubbast's pantry, and she guards it.

 

No, Mooseroom turned me down and used my grandmother to poison me.

I recover the neglected croissant, and go to Chubbast’s house under the guise of being a croissant salesman. I offer her the croissant for a dime, and she buys it and takes it to her pantry. Because of 2 of the same exact object from different timelines being in one pantry together, reality fractures. People start noclipping through walls, cars rapidly change colors, chickens start laying grenades and humans poop out eggs. The only way to stop reality from being completely obliterated is to merge the croissant and the sandwich into one. I obtain a normal sandwich, noclip into Chubbast’s pantry, which it is snowing inside, and merge the two food items. I create the Croiswich, or Sandsant if you prefer, and reality is fixed. I then put the normal sandwich where the important sandwich was. Chubbast, seeing some weird deformed object in her pantry, throws it in the trash. I take it back to the pedestal, and have it guarded by the French and the Americans. If the Croiswich is removed from the pedestal, it will splice and reality will fracture again. Btw, the death count of the first fracture was 8 billion people. So all that blood will be on your hands.

 

I bought bread from the store and made a sandwich. Surprisingly, it tasted fine.

 

During the fracture, the trade market restores all it's money, but only in zhight money so I promptly rob it. The trade market contained so much money due to the fracture that I became the richest human ever. I then pay every soldier so much that they all individually become richer than Elon Musk for the sixteen hours before zhight money inflation goes through the roof. I then take the sandwich, and within thirty seconds, extract the croissant and warp it to a different universe, rebalancing the current one. I then sell the sandwich for 16384 of each dungeon's special item that you get 1 of after each run. This excludes LS, CLS, GG, FF, and EO, which require 1.1579209e+77 of these special items each.

 

Completely and utterly angry at the Sandwich Paladin @Wommby, i turn into the ultimate sandwich paladin with a trash nickname and battle Wommby 1v1.

Then suddenly an RPG-like game pops-up

*WOMMBY
hp - 2500
atk - 240
def- 400
ACT - Mercy, Kill, Talk, Use

*PAWN
hp - 4000
atk - 350
def - 200
ACT - Mercy, Kill, Talk, Use
(yes stolen from undertale uwu)

Yes we fight, extremely epic battle 1v1 music plays but before i kill him, a huge army of memes(100,000,000,000,000,000.00) from him pops up and the RPG-like thing shatters. I then gather my former dead memes(100,000,000,000,000.00) and darth vader with a bunch of sith(1,000) to fight… again. Extremely epic battle music plays again… but its way way way way epicer than the last battle. I then 1v1 him again but he is stronger than before…. i won yay.

With my huge former dead meme army, we run 999,999,999,999 runs per second of each dungeon and gain the sandwich in 100 hours. I then defend it by myself along with the council of paladins and then place it in a pedestal where the first events happened. We devote our lives to the sandwich and are VERY VERY VERY VERY EXTREMELY SO MUCH OMFG EXTREMELY ABSOLUTELY holy that they wont take bribes. However it is still possible to take the sandwich…. i wont tell though ;)

All of them are as strong as me

 

I go to the other universe, get the croissant, and launch it at the sandwich using a catapult (not a trebuchet). Reality fractures, and I poop out a bunch of grenades, blowing you all up. I poop more grenades to make a gigantic bomb, strong enough to blow up a universe. I grab the sandwich then send the sandwich to the other universe, then blow up the universe. I then put the croissant on the pedestal and learn necromancy, in order to raise you and your army from the dead, to help me defend the croissant.

 

When @Seraphine_pawn attempts to take the sandwich, a time rift occurred. At the rate he and the army was going at, he wouldn't have even gotten a quintillion runs in. Keep in mind that acquiring the sandwich would've required approximately 575 quattuorvigintillion runs. Using this time rift, I go back to when reality wasn't fractured, and my merchant still has the sandwich. I then build an anti-croissant trebuchet, which prevents the croissant from entering the universe through a catapult. This has a 100% success rate because the trebuchet is vastly superior to the catapult, as a normal trebuchet is able to launch 90kg loads over 300 meters. And this isn't a normal trebuchet, it has the power of a supermassive star in each launch.

 

I take the time rift back to a minute earlier, and Salted gives me admin permissions to stop you from lagging out the server. I do /gamerule doTimeRifts false. Because the time rift never appears, I never go back in time to stop the time rift from appearing, which causes a paradox, causing the whole universe to fold in on itself. Before total destruction, God warps everyone to the other universe, where the croissant is. I get the croissant, do /gamerule doTimeRifts false again, and hide the croissant on this universe’s version of the meme planet. In this universe, the alive memes and the dead memes live in harmony. They vow to protect the croissant.