Experiment: Protect The Sandwich

I track down the pilot of the spaceship, steal his uniform and ID, and disguise as him to enter the spaceship. Once inside, I fly the spaceship into the cargo bay of a bigger spaceship, kill everyone on it, and fly that spaceship into a black hole.

 

The cores of the guards' weapons power the black hole so much that it explodes violently into millions of stars. I grab hold of the sandwich and turn a star into a dog. The dog absorbs the sandwich. The dog is now the sandwich.

 

i punch you in the face lmao and steal the dog

then cut up the dog into a dog sandwich

then chuck the sandwich into a bank vault

 

I apply to be a security guard at the bank, and get accepted. I tell a bunch of criminals that there are riches beyond their wildest dreams in the bank vault. When they arrive to rob the bank, I hide, and when they enter the vault, I shoot them in the back, run in, and grab the sandwich. I then use the Random Object Displacer 2000 to randomly bury the sandwich somewhere in the Sahara, and create a bunch of robot vultures to fly at anyone attempting to dig for the sandwich.

 

I use the random object finder 3000 to give me the sandwich, then I make 1 million identical sandwiches, and put them all in a vault.

 

I build the Random Object Identifier 4000, and use the Random Object Displacer 2000 to displace myself into the vault. I use the Random Object Identifier 4000 to locate the sandwich, and displace myself again. I stuff the sandwich up my b*tt, get a suit of armor that can block object displacement through it, and lock myself in the highest security prison in the world, in the most secure cell within the prison.

 

I then pull an uno reverse card. It puts you in the least secure prison in the world, in the least secure cell. So then I easily break in, steal the sandwich out of your b*tt, and then throw it in Hades Vault.

 

I enderpearl glitch in, steal the sandwich, enderpearl glitch out, and then rig the sandwich to nuke itself if touched.

 

I then defuse the trap and steal the sandwich. I then throw it into Ozoth (who for some reason can't digest anything), who then flies to another province.

 

I use a rocket launcher to shoot down ozoth. The sandwich drops out and I send it into orbit, guarded by snipers with supernova-rifles.

 

I then get Salted to ban all the snipers and then steal the sandwich. I tell Salted he can keep the sandwich.

 

I sneak into Salted’s vacation house in Rio, and steal the sandwich. I then give it to Selvut in an armored briefcase.

 

Salted then fires Selvut and steals the briefcase from him. He gives it to me and I throw it in the void.

 

I hire a bunch of random people to go down into the void on a submarine attached to a very weak rope, and retrieve the sandwich.

 

I then go to the rope and cut it, and also cut the ropes of nearby void elevators.

 

I suddenly gain admin and grab a sandwich, therefore placing the sandwich on a pedestal

 

I get admin and do the /fill command to replace all pedestals with lava.

 

I reverse time back to when the sandwich was on the original pedestal on the hill with the sniper and dog. I make it so that there hundreds of trillions of snipers and dogs, and a penguin army the size of a large country defending the sandwich.

 

I make the sandwich indestructible for a short period of time, nuke everything, and then take the sandwich and hide it in a vault

 

I use a nether portal tunnel trick to get into the vault, before then taking the Sandwich and hiding it in Orphion's NOL loot chest, with a 1% drop rate.