SPOILER The Confectionary Merchant's Real Identity

In 1.20, a new merchant was added to the Levtus Airbase:





What does he sell? Confectionaries.





Let's take a closer look, shall we?



Visuals

First, the merchant.

The merchant is bald.



What does baldness signify? Usually, being bald means becoming of old age. As one gets older, one starts to lose hair [1]. So that means the merchant is old. How old? we don't know.

What else is there?

We know that villagers reproduce among themselves whenever there is an available bed and food around [2]. But have you noticed that they reproduce with any villager? Well, since they can reproduce with any villager, this means that they must be termed a hermaphrodite, meaning they have both fully functioning male and female reproductive systems.

So that means the Confectionary Merchant is a hermaphrodite, or more likely, pansexual (they/them).



Products

The Confectionary Merchant sells a variety of food products:

• Sugar Stick (14e)
• Big Jawbreaker (14e)
• Cocoa Caps (12e)
• Licorice Ropes (12e)
• Candy Button (12e)
• Wybel Taffy (10e)
• Ice Cream Sandwich (10e)
• Letvus Delight (224e)

Observations:

• All of their products are made of sweets. They are the Confectionary Merchant after all.
• The first 7 products are very cheap.
• The last product is very expensive. This probably requires dedicated craftsmanship.

Hmmm...



Investigating the Confectionary Merchant

At first, you might think the Confectionary Merchant is just an innocent merchant selling confectionaries. On the surface, this is the case. But deeper down, there are very suspicious things going on.

First, the surroundings.





Their shop looks like a normal shop. Lots of sweets stored in the back.

Wait sweets...

Huh?



Oh! It looks similar to the candy house the witch made in the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale!

To those that don't know the story, there is a witch that made this candy house in order to lure children to the house. She then captures them and fattens them up with candy. Once they are fat, she then cooks them to eat.

You know what is also relevant to this? Vore. The vore thread was deleted, but it essentially boils down to how Wynncraft has a lot of locations where the player gets vored, such as The Eye in the 3rd phase.

So is the Confectionary Merchant secretly a witch? Most likely. It checks off 5 things:

• Old
• Pansexual
• Sweets
• Ability to become a witch
• Vore

Too bad lightning doesn't exist, but if it did, we can test and confirm this theory [2].



Extrapolating from the Witch Theory

Now that we confirmed the Confectionary Merchant is a witch, who then, do they lure?

Look back at the products. Notice how they are cheap? And related to professions?

Wait...

Professions...

Uh oh! Profers are being lured in!



But wait!

Do they even eat them?

After questioning around the profers, it turns out they only use the products to craft and are not necessarily lured into the Confectionary Merchant's trap.

Whew...

Wait...

The profers sell these crafted products to the blacksmith... And the blacksmith buys them all, no questions asked...



OH GOD OH FUCK HES BEING FATTENED!!!

SOMEONE SAVE-








NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

 

​

Why must you make my eyes weep tears of blood Crokee

Spoiler: Also,

What were you smoking when you conceived "Vore Merchant" this time?

 

I swear to god this is the funniest thread ever and if it gets deleted I am going to munch on someone's shoe

 

Can we have an f for confectionery merchant

 

please make confect merchant female then all the proffers fantasies will be fulfilled

 

________________________________

Ice Cream Sandwich.

 

crokee what

 

what did i just read

 

This is the single most important lore thread in all of Wynn. You have done a commendable thing today, Crokee.

 

why

 

No, you do not understand. Do you notice how the Confectionary Merchant and the Blacksmith are IDENTICAL?! You buy from the Confectionary Merchant, then sell to... the Confectionary Merchant! The Confectionary Merchant puts you into this loop, eternal never-ending. Thus the Confectionary Merchant binds your soul. Sound familiar?

Earth. Why is Alkatraz Earth-based? Wouldn't it be fit better if it was neutral?
What is Earth representative of? Yes, strength and force, but... nature. Life. Life requires FOOD. SWEETS. CONFECTIONARIES.
Thus we realize that the Confectionary Merchant is an undercover outlaw who practices soul-binding magicks.

 

you have too much free time please just get a new hobby or something



preferably one that doesnt have anything to do with comedy

 

Confectionary Merchant Fangirl checking in to say: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally I have some idea of how to draw the merchant. I struggled all last night, does the merchant have rippling muscles or a lovely bosom? How do I make this fanart do the merchant justice? For I have forsaken Lari, Quira, and Ava for the one true simp-able npc: my dearest merchant. Now the only only question lies is should i do the merchant in oil paint, acrylic, pastel, or watercolor? The struggles of an artist never cease.

 

confec merchant NUMBER 3fangirl checking in

 

Okay I know I already commented on this thread but its acutally important guys they used to sell confectionary merchant plushies but they are out of stock right now.
Anyway here is what you all are missing:

 

You forgot alcoholic doan, he is also in the letvus airbase and is drinking his life away after losing his flight to detlas since we spent an hour farming dragon eggs and doing a math puzzle, doas is gonna get cooked in the cauldron as well, same fate as the blacksmith

 

Yeah but could he beat Goku or Yahyabot 9002?

 

He will vore them, the stomach of the confectionary merchant will serve as yahyabot's and goku's arena, for they can not harm the confectionary merchant, his precesnce is otherworldy

 

How bald of you to assume that he is bald on my texturepack...

 

@Selvut283 What have you unleashed...