2019 Mlb Playoffs

Quick, you have 1 second to guess who's back.

Time's up! You're wrong, unless ofcourse you're right. That's right it's me, tig, back with more sports shitposting bs that nobody cares about! This time Boston team free!

The 2019 MLB regular season has come to a close which means I can waste 2 hours on a thread nobody will read. Let's take a look at the lineups.

Spoiler: American League

1st seed: Not Boston Astros 107-55
Wow, I mean WOW. Houston was absolutely Dominant this year, 1st in run differential at +280, 3rd in runs scored at 920, 2nd in runs allowed at 640, I mean Jesus Christ. The only problem I can see is losing a game to the Orioles when you where favored by -420 earlier in the season but who fucking cares? You guys are set for your second World Sieries Title, don't fuck this up.
2nd seed: Not Boston Yankees 103-59
The Bronx Bombers and Bandwagoners are back, Cruising to the post season on the back of MLB record 305 homeruns, breaking a record that was set by them the previous year... which was 268. and the MLB says the balls aren't juiced lmfaoooooooo
There is the problem of their starting pitching being a bit suspect but I don't think it will be that big of a deal barring Houston doing Houstom shit the World Series crown should be yours.
3rd seed: Not Boston Twins 101-61
Coming in at number 3 is a Twins team gliding off the power of the juiced-- I mean-- long ball... yeah, that. Smacking a franchise record 303 dingers along the way, I do believe they where the first to hit 300 but I may be wrong and I'm too lazy to check.
4th seed: Not Boston Athletics 97-65
The A's are just here to maybe upset a mutch better team just to lay down and die later, don't mind them.
5th seed: Not Boston Rays 96-66
Ah, the Tampa Bay Aids, what do I say about you guys. Honestly, I'm impressed. You've overcome the adversity of playing in a shithole stadium, which the lowest attendance numbers in the leage, the possibility of splitting you home games in fucking MONTREAL and you still managed to come out with a 96 win season. It only got you a 5th seed but with no real home games that doesn't matter.

Spoiler: National League

1st seed: Los Angeles Dodgers 106-56
The perrenial NL winners have struck yet again, coming off a franchise record 106 wins and, yet another, NL West crown, God I hate the Dodgers. The real question is can they actually make it over the hump this year? With teams like the Astros and Yankees on the other side I'm going to stick with brutal dissapointment, or for me, heaven.
2nd seed: Atlanta Braves 97-65
Um, I don't really have anything to say about these guys soo, go blow a 28-3 lead or smth.
3rd seed: Saint Louis Cardinals 91-71
The Cardinals Started off... kinda like shit, just like the rest of the NL Central. They where .500 after June but started turning things up after that to get to a division title.
4th seed: Washington Nationals 93-69
Ah Washington, thanks to the bullshit that is divisions you fuckers got bumped down to 4th seed and have to play a win-or-go-home game instead of resting peacefully at the number 3 spot. All of which probs doesn't matter cuz you're the Detroit Lions of the MLB and will never win in the Playoffs
5th seed: Milwakee Brewers 89-73
Damn. I'm surprised. The World has thrown everything at you to keep you out of the playoffs and yet, here you are. You overcame terrible management, trash pitching and Christian Yelich smashing his knee (why Yelich though? WHY?) pulled out an unbelievable 18-2 run in september to knock out No Cubs No and snag a Wild Card slot, you have earned this Milwakee, a sincere congratulations.

Now that you know who's here... PREDICTIONS TIME

Wild Card Round

AL
​

5 Tampa Bay Rays
@
4 Oakland Athletics

Even after an impressive campaign in which you where 1 win shy of your franchise record, you will still find a way to shit the bed as always, besides Oakland needs to scare at least one of the giants anyway right?

Oakland

NL
​

5 Milwakee Brewers
@
4 Washington Nationals

Uh-Oh, Washington is in the playoffsx do you know what that means? 1st round exit!!!!! Don't worry about it Nats, at least you are choking to a real team.

Milwakee

Divisional Round

AL
​

4 Oakland Athletics
@
1 Houston Astros

Oakland has come to topple a giant for no fucking reason, well, almost. As hilarious as it would be to see Oakland win this I think Houston judt has too much power, not to mention, Justin Verlander and Zach Greinke.

Houston in 5

3 Minnesota Twins
@
2 New York Yankees

The Bronx Bombers will outslug the Minneota Juicers in a series that won't be as close as some people may hope. But don't worry, the world isn't doomed to a 28th Yankees title yet.

New York Sweeps

NL
​

5 Milwakee Brewers
@
1 Los Angeles Dodgers

As much as I would love to see Milwakee win this, not just because of how much I hate the Dodgers, but also because of how the Brewers made it here. Almost nothing I would love to see more than the Brewers win the World Series this year, especially if it rids us of the Dodgers. But... it's probs not gonna happen, but don't be surpries if Milwakee pulls off the upset.

Los Angeles in 5

3 Saint Louis Cardinals
@
2 Atlanta Braves

Let the NLDS pain for the Braves ensue!!!! 9 of their 10 playoff runs since the turn of the millenia have ended here or earlier! Let the pain commence! Let them die in agony and despair to a real team!!!

Saint Louis in 4

League Championship Round

AL
​

2 New York Yankees
@
1 Houston Astros

Welcome to the World Series. Yes, this is the World Series, not the thing after this. This. Whoever wins this is very likely to win it all, and this is gonna be played like it really is the real deal. I expect this series to be absolute perfection. Exactly what you expect going into a playoff series. The best 2 teams battling it out in a 7 game brawl for the title. It's hard to pick who'll win this, but given Houston's more stable pitching and home field, I'll give the edge to the Astros. The world is saved from the Yankees for another year.

Houston in 7

NL
​

3 Saint Louis Cardinals
@
1 Los Angeles Dodgers

It's that time of year again where the Dodgers claim the NL Title only to get their dreams crushed by a real squad from the other side. Oh how I would love to see the Dodgers get shit on by the AL 3 years in a row.

Los Angeles in 6

World Series

Los Angeles Dodgers
@
Houston Astros
​

And now it's the time of year where LA fails to bring the crown back to the NL, something San Francisco hasn't had problems with this decade. The City of Los Angeles, always playing second fiddle to San Francisco. Enjoy your participation award.

Giants fan roasting aside, I see no way the Dodgers come out on top, Don't get me wrong 106 wins is impressive, but the NL this year wasn't 3 of the other 4 NL playoff teams, Cardinals, Nationals, and Brewers sucked most of the year. Wins aren't hard for a good team to come by in the NL, and the Dodgers certainly quallify, but scaling the league power difference, Houston's 107 wins, are equal to about 10-15 more than LA's 106. Houston played 14 games with other 100 win teans Yankees and Twins, finished 7-7, Los Angeles, on the other hand, played just 3 games against another 100 win team, the Yankees, they lost 2 of those. So even with a considerably easier schedule, they still couldn't get more wins that Houston, aside from being unimpressive, it also means Houston is at home this series.

Houston in 6

2019 World Series Champions
Not the Dodgers!​

 

Hi, I came here solely to say that your color formatting looks bad

 

;-; thats not my fault

 

I see that Nats are wasting no time to start choking

 

LOLBREWERS

 

The Wild Card round is up, which means it's time to update my predictions and see how I fared.

...

...

Oh God.

Prediction Results

AL
​

5 Tampa Bay Rays
@
4 Oakland Athletics

Congratulations Tampa Bay! You have overcome the pressures of being the underdog in the Wild Card Game! Your reward is getting the shit kicked out of you in Houston.

Prediction: Oakland
Result: Tampa Bay (5-1)

NL
​

5 Milwakee Brewers
@
4 Washington Nationals

It took all of 3 minutes for that Nats to start fucking up. Less than 10 pitches in and you're already down 2-0. Oh well, you've gone through this countless times before, I'm sure you'll make it through again.

*8th inning happens*

...

Wow. What the hell Milwakee? Is Washingtons choke habbit suddenly a contagious virus? Goddammit I knew that late season run had to be a fluke, I knew it was just wishful thinking someone would have a chance against the Dodgers. You guys are fucking frauds. Take an early lead in the easiest playoff game one can ask for just to piss it away like you're the fucking Mets. Pathetic.

Prediction: Milwakee
Result: Washington (4-3)

Round Record: 0-2

Well that round wasn't kind to me, onto the next set of predictions I guess. .-.

Spoiler: Updated Bracket

Divisional Round

AL
​

5 Tampa Bay Rays
@
1 Houston Astros

Houston fans can sleep soundly tonight, instead of the giant killer from Oakland they get the Montreal Bay Goldfish, enjoy the free win Houston.

Houston Sweeps

​

3 Minnesota Twins
@
2 New York Yankees

Nothing new here

New York Sweeps

NL​

4 Washington Nationals
@
1 Los Angeles Dodgers

So... there's still a chance the Nats will be competetive in this right? Please? No?


*sigh*

Los Angeles in 4

3 Saint Louis Cardinals
@
2 Atlanta Braves

Nothing new here.

Saint Louis in 4

League Championship Round

AL​

2 New York Yankees
@
1 Houston Astros

Nothing new here.

Houston in 7

NL​

3 Saint Louis Cardinals
@
1 Los Angeles Dodgers

Nothing new here.

Los Angeles in 6

World Series

Los Angeles Dodgers
@
Houston Astros
​

Nothing new here.

Houston in 6

2019 World Series Champions
Still Not the Dodgers​

 

I was hoping for a 28-3 Blown lead but a blown 3-1 in the 8th will do.

________________________________

Dont tell me youre gonna fuck this up Saint Luois.

________________________________

Good.

 

What the fuck are you doing Dodgers? Youre supposed to wait till the World Series to choke.

 

Why did the Astros start Verlander? Wait untill game 5 untill hes rested, if you even have to play that game. Now hes gassed and it looks like a game 5 is more and more likely, a game 5 without Verlander. This is gonna come back to haunt Houston.

 

This has to be the least impressive game 5 ever

 

Ah, Post-season Kershaw, giving Giants fans hope since 2008

 

L M F A O

 

Well that round whas fun to watch, let's see how bad I was at predicting it.

Prediction Results

AL
​

3 The Yankees' Bitch
@
2 ...The Yankees

Congratulations Twins, you are now the equivillent to the Celeveland Browns and Detroit Lions in your recent playoff meetings with the Yankees!

\o/ 0-16! \o/
​

Watch the Twins in misery as they suddenly stop bashing bombs left and right, watch them writhe in pain as they move to a level of inneptitude equal to getting swept by the same team in 4 straight leage championship series! Watch as a 100 win team collapses to win 0 playoff games! Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Minnesota Twins!

Prediction: New York Sweeps
Result: New York Sweeps

5 Tampa Bay Rays
@
1 Houston Astros

"I learned here there can be no true despair without hope" -Bane

This quote pretty much somes up Rays fans. They where givin hope when a series that was all but over in 2 games, suddenly brought back to life after the Astros (stupidly) started Justin Verlander in game 4. Only for it to be crushed 1 inning into game 5, and turned into despair for those 8 poor Tampa fans.

Prediction: Houston sweeps
Result: Houston in 5

NL
​

4 Uncursed Washington Nationals
@
1 Los Angeles Dodgers

Um... what the fuck? Am I seeing things? Did this really just happen? Did the Dodgers choke before the World Series? Did the Nationals win a playoff series? Did the Dodgers put fucking Clayton Kershaw in relief to blow a game 5 lead? You've got to be fucking kidding me. I'm all for the Dodgers choking but this was so easily avoidable. Why put Kershaw, a guy known for his Postseason struggles, which by the way, didn't get any better in his game 2 start, into the game in relief nursing a 2 run lead in game 5? Spoiler Altert! He blew it. Again. Giving up back to back homeruns in the 8th tieing the game at 3. The Nats won that game 7-3 in 10 innings. Speaking of witch, why didn't you pull Joe Kelly after he loaded the bases in the 10th? Or hell after he even let 2 guys on? This shit better get Dave Roberts fired, just like the World Series loss last year should have. Oh but WAIT! You signed him to an extention to 2022 because you're incapable of learning ANYTHING! Which would cause you to have to swallow even more money. But do tou know what?
Do. It. Anyway.
I don't care if firing Dave now costs more money you're the fucking Dodgers, you have all the money in the world and a financial state small market teams would kill for. But... this is the Dodgers I'm talking about. They will learn nothing. Aside from not firing him they may aswell just extend him again for the fuck of it.
You guys are literally the Tampa Bay Lightning of the MLB.

Edit: Quick, should I make my predictions this round 4-1?


Prediction: Los Angeles in 4
Result: Washington in 5

3 Saint Louis Cardinals
@
2 Atlanta Braves

Well, what can I say? An Atlanta team blew a lead in more ways that one. Shocking, I know. First it was game 1. a late 3-1 lead, pitching had been solid so far. Only for your bullpen to collapse and give up 6 runs in the last 2 innings. What makes this more painful you ask? They won the next 2 games, meaning they would have swept with that win. Instead they just lead the series 2-1, which went to the same place as every lead in Atlanta. Nowhere. they proceed to blow, guess what, a lead, in the 8th inning of game 4. What followed in game 5 was disaster. They gave up 10 runs in the first inning. That game ended 13-1. Now go meet up with Dan Quinn and have a beer.

Prediction: Saint Louis in 4
Result: Saint Louis in 5

Prediction Results:
Total Record: 3-1
Perfect Predictions: 1

Spoiler: New Bracket

League Chanpionship Series

AL
​

2 New York Yankees
@
1 Houston Astros

I am so close to picking the Yankees right now. The Astros are lucky as hell they didn't fuck that series up. Why start Verlander in game 4? You weren't facing elimination yet. The Yankees will blast you into oblivion if you make managerial mistakes like that against them. The world is counting on you right now Houston. Don't. Fuck. This. Up.

Prediction: Houston in 7

NL
​

4 Washington Nationals
@
3 Saint Louis Cardinals

Great job on making it this far gentlemen, over this next week-ish you will play for the prize of getting humiliated by one of the juggernauts from the AL!

Prediction: Washington in 6

World Series

Washington Nationals
@
Houston Astros
​

When I said the prize for winning the NL was getting slapped by Houston or New York I wasn't kidding. I don't see Washington, or Saint Louis, even having a chance in this series. But, I guess mirracles can happen.

Prediction: Houston in 5

2019 World Series Champions
Definitely not the Dodgers!​

 

Are the Nationals really good or are the Cardinals really bad?

 

The answer is the Cards are shit.

 

did that really just happen?

good

 

I'm a day late but nobody cares. anyway some shit happened. Let's just get into it

Prediction Results

AL
​

2 New York Yankees
@
1 Houston Astros

This series didn't start out too hot, after a 7-0 ass kicking by the Yankees in game 1 I thought we may see, yet another, Yankees world series win. But after an 11 inning win by Houston in game 2 that all changed. A lot. After game 1 Houston dominated the Yankees. Outscoring New York 15-6 after game 1 Houston had the series all but locked up. Even with the Yankees taking game 5 the Astros just needed 1 of 2 going back home. After nearly blowing game 6 they where ultimately bailed out by means of Jose Altuve walk-off officially ending the Bronx Bombers season. Congrats Houston you're 4 wins away from winning an easy title. Try not to fuck this up.

Prediction: Houston in 7
Result: Houston in 6

NL
​

4 Very Uncursed Nationals
@
3 Saint L's Cardinals

Sweet Jesus what the hell was this? Come on Cards, if you're gonna get gifted an NLCS berth at least try. You scored 2 total runs in the first 3 games and got 4 total hits in the first 2 games. You guys where absolute shit this series. At least Atlanta would have probs won at least one game. I don't even know what to think of this, this was a man handling from game 1.

Washington has earned their spot in the World Series, too bad it's basically a death sentence though, it would be nice to see the Nats get over the hump. You got any more magic left by chance Washington?

Prediction: Washington in 6
Result: Washington Sweeps

Prediciton Results:
Total Record: 2-0
Perfect guesses: 0

Updated Bracket
(Nothing new here)

 

Joe Buck thinks trains have steering wheels

 

this game has 7 more runs than i thought it would by now.

its 5-2

 

taco tuesday