Corrupt A Wish!

Granted. You have diabetes, arthritis, astigmatism, osteoperosis, depression, anxiety, AIDS, and liver disease all at once. The only problem that improves is your astigmatism, but only slightly.

I wish for this to be the 4,000 message on this thread.

 

Granted, but since you are ded, nobody sees it.
I wish for a mountain of ice cream.

 

Granted, it's on Mars. At least the scientists are happy.

I wish for an exploding goat.

 

Granted. It explodes with stomach acid, feces, blood, saliva, and every other nasty fluid you
can think of.

I wish I was a squid kid.

 

Granted, you are now a squid that is forever trapped in a 2x2x2 space of water.

I wish I wasn't allergic to nuts.

 

Granted, you're now allergic to everything but nuts, making you go nuts.

I wish I wouldn't relate with Shiga Haruki as much as I do.

 

granted now u dont relate with him because u dont know him now

i wish u werent so ugly

 

Granted, but he steals your gf.

I wish I had a gf. :c

 

Granted, she's as ugly as a trashed helicopter

I wish this thread never dies

 

Granted, but there's only 2 people that use it.

I wish I could keep connections longer.

 

Granted, you amalgamate.

I wish to have people with whom I feel comfortable discussing the majority of my thoughts and interests with.

 

Granted, you feel comfortable talking to them, but they make you severely uncomfortable when they talk with you.

I wish I wasn't so distractive.

 

Granted, you're now so attentive that people feel that you pry on them.

I wish for something cold to drink.

 

Granted, its the cryogenic remains of your great-great-great-great-grandfather

I wish I would get used to my braces that I got a while ago

 

Granted, but now the sharp ends of the metal wires keep cutting your cheeks to shreds.

I wish I could tell when people are lying.

 

Granted, you can no longer tell when people aren't lying.

I wish I could attain more lifeforce.

 

Granted, you attain an extreme quantity of life force that you are now too lively, which is why the ELDERS destroy you.

I wish I knew what ELDERS I was talking about.

 

Granted, but now since you know about the ELDERS, you must die.

I wish I could explore space without dying.

 

Granted, yet you only can explore the empty gas filled room next door without dying.

I wish Splatoon was real.

 

Granted, everyone get's sick from paint poisoning.

I wish I had a birb.