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fvck

very nice
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Eat jello of the same color as it infront of it. :L

 

Use the Holy Spirit then proceed to cut it with my stopsign that is enchanted with heckfire for some reason

 

"Take that boiiiii"
I shall infuriate the king with my words

 

Slicey slicey! The sword deals 30 damage.

80 damage! Nice!

The Slime King doesn't know how to read. You're now stuck in a loving relationship with the Slime King. Maybe this could be to your advantage...

The Slime King realizes that Jello is not a slime, and is glad you're keeping your energy up.

You drink the Holy Spirit, and a golden glow forms around you.
Your flaming stop sign swings through the air, but the heckfire is extinguished in a flash of light mid-swing, making it a regular stop sign. Apparently, heckfire is quite unholy. Still, it deals 20 damage.

Now the Slime King's just confused.

Spoiler: BATTLE LOG

TOTAL DAMAGE: 130
ITEM USED - Holy Spirit
NOTES: You guys could be doing a lot more if you
1. Used actual attacks instead of doing totally unrelated things or just talking to the boss
2. Paid attention when people used items and used them to your advantage; so far, items are either doing nothing or just helping the person who used them
Just sayin'

 

I kiss the Slime King, And tell him to stop attacking us.

 

but it's fun~

help the seduction. >.>

 

Take advantage of the King's confusion and body-slam him in the face with my massive feathers

________________________________

A factory kissing a slime? hm

 

I throw my shovel and the leftover dirt at the slime

 

I use the broken compass to search the wrold for information about the guild [item search]

 

I punch the slime king for 30 seconds straight while shouting ”MUDA!” And ”WRYYYYY!”


And yes all my attacks will be JOJO references.

 

The Slime King jiggles unintelligibly.

You kiss the Slime King and blame @FallenFactory. The Slime King is confused, and also hasn't taken any damage.

FWAP. 30 damage.

schluk. 20 damage.

You find no information regarding a Guild. It seems that whoever they are, they're kept quite secret. Also, during your search, the compass led you to a hole in the ground containing... Nothing. It is broken, after all.

Your punches simply sink into the King's slime, causing half damage for 5.

Your attacks will continue dealing less damage as that goes on.

Spoiler: BATTLE LOG

TOTAL DAMAGE: 55
ITEM USED - Broken Compass
NOTES: jesus christ.

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UPDATE 5/28/19
Removed the "Drought" achievement since I'm pretty sure that's why you guys aren't attacking
Added rule 8: If your "attacks" consistently do nothing to progress the battle or if I think you're just role-playing instead of actually playing the game, I will refuse to respond to your actions. Meta comments are an exception. Note: You may have a chance to do this in the future, hint-hint-foreshadowing
Fixed some formatting issues, typos, etc. in parent post; reworded some things for clarity

 

Wait, achievements aren't hidden?

Fvck
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Banish half the slime to a seperate realm. Their problem now.

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Edit since I read the achievements page *cough cough*
Heal the boss. >.> Splash potion of healing.

 

Oh no


I’ll do something simple and order an orbital strike on the slime

 

I mean if i attack the slime he can use law 1 and 7 on me so all i can do is search for items. I'll venture to a meteor crater and try to find aome alien technology [item search]

 

I curse the slime,

Here is my curse: "May the fleas of one thousand camels infest it's body".

 

Shoot the slime with a desert eagle that has
https://enterthegungeon.gamepedia.com/Battery_Bullets hoping to electrocute it

 

I say to the slime king, Its not you, its me. And i break up with him.

 

i fire the death beam ive been charging for 4 days and definitely didnt forget about this thread

 

The Slime King's curse sets in, dealing 100 damage!

im just gonna

"Order received. Kinetic bombardment satellite online. Clear the area of friendlies and civilians and stand by."
"Targeting beam in place." A small, red beam is shining onto the Slime King from above.
"Firing shell. Make sure the area is clear of friendlies and civilians." The beam turns blue.
...
You can't even tell what happened. The earth shakes, dust flies, and the Slime King's slime is spread out so far you can't even see it all. It eventually comes together, but it takes 110 damage.

Inside the crater, you see a smoldering, green cube.
Alien Cube - When used, supercharges energy-based attacks, making then deal 1.5x damage until the end of the attack turn

The Slime King likes fleas. They dissolve nicely.

Congrats, you're the first person to think of shooting the boss. 9 pages later.
The bullets are lost in the void of the Slime King, but you see white pulses fill its body. The electricity deals 60 damage!

The four-day death beam has overcharged to near-combustion. Thankfully, it has just enough integrity to fire on the Slime King for 150 damage!!

Spoiler: BATTLE LOG

TOTAL DAMAGE: 320
ITEM ACQUIRED - Alien Cube
NOTES: If other people attacked, y'all could have gotten a new damage record.

SMALL UPDATE
Reworded "Wrong Team!" achievement coughcough @Tsubaki

 

I shoot high-pressure oil at the slime.

*Cough cough* Next person, you do know how oil reacts with heat, right? *cough cough*