SPOILER A Nondescript Original Internet Forums Post About An Mmorpg Minecraft Server's Incoming New Update

Look at this picture in all its glory:
As you can see, it's rather gory.
My spear has pierced Jpresent's chest,
so say goodbye to Wynnterfest.

What's that? Oh wait, there's more!
We're right in front of that big door
labeled "1.18" - the economy update,
but then we see JP's sad fate...

Wynncraft's main coder, impaled by moi
has put an halt to its repertoire.
For without the code, we can't progress,
nor any bugs can we address.

A minute later, he disappeared,
and so it played out as I feared:
Although the beta we have seen,
we must abandon 1.18 .

With all that said,
J.P. is dead.
For murder I face execution
so I leave this as my contribution.



@hppeng said this belonged here so if it doesn't blame him


In reality, his fault it's not
because he's

When I post this, his phone dings,
but

Spoiler: owo what's this?

@hppeng

 

what even

 

yos

 

Nani

 

its been a while since weve had a shitpost i laughed at

 

bad shitpost

 

Wait, this isn’t vip plaza

 

what was is again that the seaskipper sad about that guy on Jofash docks?

 

YOU BEAT ME TO IT GOD DAMMIT

 

this post needs to be pinned to show people like me who can’t shitpost how to shitpost

 

Let the rhyme battle begin.

 

QUALITY SHITPOST
have a seal of approval

*Insert picture of a seal here because I'm too lazy to add one*

 

Long live the king

 

The snowflake, it falls
slowly, but surely, to ground
and hitting its mark.

Let's see how many will get this.

Edit:
For those of you who have free time, here is a stereotypically bad interpretation:

Spoiler: Flowsnake

The Snowflake represents the 1.18 Update.
As it falls down, it barely progresses. It is rather slow to the perception of others. But it will, one day, reach its destination, hitting the mark dead-on. By its slow nature, it will land peacefully and keep its beauty, whereas if it was a raindrop instead and rushed towards the ground, it would shatter on impact, blurring in with the rest.

Feel free to hate on me, I got an E on my German Finals.

 

Shakespearean sonnet when

 

Doesn't an excessive amount of effort go against the idea of a shitpost?

 

Someday when I find something to love
Then I may post a sonnet above

 

Your spear in jpresent's chest, exactly where it belongs...

 

I love you for those rhymes

 

Ooh, poetry battle? Don't mind if I do...


You think you are so hip and cool.
With your rhymes that are so great.
But I will make the reader drool.
And I will not pause to hesitate.

I'll take you down in this battle of words that mostly sound the same.
This may seem like a very bold claim.
But I promise that I will make you sir sound lame.
As I will get the fame. Yes I will get the fame.

Some of your rhymes don't even rhyme!
And your pattern never changes!
Now I'll teach you how to become the prime.
With these nasty pattern arranges.

It goes like this: ABAB!
There are more patterns than this, of course.
Now I'm surely sure that you will see.
That I'll be taking this battle by force.

Here I present another one.
It goes like this: BAAB!
This is a very good pattern, I think we all can agree.
Now that I've had my little fun I think it is clear that I have won.

I feel that I have said enough.
That was a small taste of the real stuff.
Now you can properly play the game.
And you can get the fame. Yes you can get the fame.

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Hey, good job, I know poetry isn't very easy, and I know that mine sucked hardcore, but yours was great. I mean no hate, good job dude.