Survive!

But my neck is made of diamond, meaning the axe shatters into pieces

one of which flies into your chest at high speeds

 

I'm a skeleton in a robe, it just pass through me not causing any harm

But for you, your time on this earth has come to an end, meet the Death, I'm using my scythe to cut off connection between your soul and body

 

but I don’t have a soul so nothing happens

in the meantime I push you into a pool of acid

 

I become the acid and become a living manifestation of it.

Thanos snaps you out of existence.

 

we don’t know if the people who got snapped died

all people not subscribed to pewdiepie die

 

good thing I am subscribed to pewdiepie to flex on t-series

you get stabbed by a big fish and chips
(idk I let my phone write this one)

 

I eat the remnants and heal my wound with my saliva. If you question how then the answer is that my neck is longer than Sarabi's.

You are drunken by a ginormous acidic cocktail.

 

I’m a basic bitch so the acid cancels out
as it’s not acidic I don’t die so I can drink the entire cocktail

then I throw a big bag of bowling balls on you

 

But one of my ten pins miraculously still stands.

You fall up a staircase after having been dropped from a piano.

 

luckily I wasn’t dropped from a long distance so the damage is minimal

you fall down a piano after I drop a staircase on you

 

They both happen to be miniaturized versions.

A large wooden cube suddenly and inexplicably gets fused into your head.

 

It doesn't affect me that much due to the fact my head fused with a cactus before

I shoot you all with cheese

 

I am a UFO, so I am immune to such attacks.

I drown you in muffins, cus' I work at the muffin factory.

 

I eat all of the muffins. (the toilet gets destroyed in a few minutes but we're not gonna worry about that)

You get crushed by a grand piano.

 

who’s idea was this

I mean it hurts, but I’m not dead

you get rainbows puked on you

 

I now know what diagnose to give my patient, but dead I am not.

The police tell you that "You can't skate here!", but you proceed regardless.

 

I successfully escape the police on my skateboard, without riding into a mine field

The police ask if you have a trumpeting licence

 

I commit musicide.

Your name is Desmond, and you're a bear on the moon.

 

I hitch a ride back home on a space Tesla.

You do an internet and are exposed to the raw data of the world wide web

 

It fails since I'm a Memer Dreamer

I kick u in deh face