Best Insults Which You've Actually Thought Of.

If it needs a context to be funny/work feel free to provide one, but they need to be original because the person I plan to use them on is a true Argonaut of the internet and I've got a long car journey so imma need quite a few.

Preferably without swearing though because my parents will also be in the car though I should be able to get away with an occasional outburst of profanity.

 

I have a vivid memory of the first day of middle school: someone didn't like my shoes and the first thing that he said to me was, "The first thing people notice in middle school are your shoes." I ignored him because he was full of crap. Then about one and a half years later, that same guy got mad at someone else and was giving another guy his anger expressed in words. But I then told the guy, "Why would he listen to someone who said the first thing that middle school students look at are their shoes?" You gotta use one of their messed up statements against them.

Probably doesn't work AS well because I did it in real life, but you get the idea.

 

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html

Meet your best friend, thank me later.
Thou yeasty pox-marked dewberry...

 

I bet you play roblox.

 

no u

 

I want to insult him, not murder him and everyone he has ever loved.

 

Ice Bear says you’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece. Ice Bear gets insults from this movie.

 

The only thing more crippling than your depression is your social skills

 

Can't go wrong with a classic 'Your nan double gay'

But in all seriousness we had a kid in our class who needed surgery on his testes so I just went around calling him 'Penis enlargement' for the rest of the year

 

ur mum gey xdd

 

Si mon cu ressemblait à ta gueule, j'aurais honte de chier!

Not mine, Parole de Chat made that one but still hilarious.

UUUUH

I don't care.

 

this is the kind of thing i'm looking for thanks.

 

"ur gay"
"no u"

 

everyone knows "your mom gay" right

but

your dad big lesbian

hit them with that one and they will commit harakiri

 

”I bet you can’t actually think of insult yourself, and have to go online and beg people to make them for you”

No, not a joke post poking fun at you. You mentioned they look at the web a lot.

Just make sure he doesn’t use ”no u”

 

"nerd"
best insult

 

this is too true for me and idk how to feel

 

Well the person who looks at the internet a lot was my brother, so needless to say all these insults worked amazingly.

I've used that point many, many times and he still denied it even after I show him the meme he stole it from.

Thou fusty sheep-biting popinjay I thank you, this was most helpful.

 

if you call ur brothers dad lesbian wouldn't your dad be lesbian too.