Bullshit Your Way To Victory: The Revival

why did you say a bad word
on a completely unrelated note, is there a reason for two 'i's in Eirika now?

 

Whoosh.

And because Eirika is her name. I dun goofed the first time.

 

while y'all are arguing about semantonyms i take the city

 

While your busy taking the city I shoot you 100214890218904517245012049127498120498 times in a single second and take the city in your place.

 

I shoot you ~10^39 times for not rounding and not putting your number in scientific notation.

 

I shoot you ~7.34*10^42 times for not using a decimal at the start (1.0*10^39)
Mine.

 

I beat you to death because that's redundant and works just as well as 10^39 as most mathematicians would say

 

But it's still technically fine to use.
Either way, I drop a brick on your head.
Mine.

 

My head absorbs the brick and transforms it into a thin clay spike, which then harpoons you

 

The whales don't agree with you, and form the AWC (Anti-Whaling Coalition). You get eaten and slowly digested by their army. After conquering the world, they place me as their puppet because I love nature ;^). I now own the traversable world and by extension the city.

 

One problem with that
Whales can't FUCKING WALK

 

bam
i hit the middle button on the fidget cube, which gives whales legs (and arms the bears)
it also conveniently allows them to breath and live on land
they destroy you

then they give the city to me as gave them neato legs

 

Stop right there.

Whales can fly.

Don't you see the wings? Those are definitely wings, they just haven't used them because before you so awfully used a harpoon, they spared the world. They have exacted vengeance however, as a flying Luftwaffe of death.

Still mine.

 

i become a unicorn.

my city.

 

However, these new revalations don't affect my legging of the whales and the arming of the bears. I also allowed them to breathe air.
As such, they give the city to me.

 

Item #: SCP-8244

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8244 is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell on Site-69. However, no devices with any function of inputting logic information (i.e. a button, lever, keypad, etc) shall be present inside of the cell. Turrets loaded with needles designed to inject tranquilizing and amnestic chemicals shall be stationed on the roof, and furnishing must be designed to prevent access to these turrets. SCP-8244 must be constantly monitored and should be tranquilized if it begins fashions anything interpretable as a standard input device. If a possible input device is manipulated via direct contact by SCP-8244 (hereby referred to as SCP-8244-1), as many rounds as possible must be fired into SCP-8244 until it is sedated, and the SCP-8244-1 instance must be neutralized as soon as possible without activating the device. Failure to follow these procedures may result in a XK-Class End of the World Scenario.

Any input devices on Site-69 not installed after its acquisition should be treated as instances of SCP-8244-1 and neutralized.

Description: SCP-8244 is a human male who possesses the ability to change the function of an input device upon physical contact (hereby referred to as SCP-8244-1). No limitations to this ability have been found, and testing is discouraged due to the dangerous reality bending abilities of SCP-8244.
A secondary anomalous quality of SCP-8244 is the ability to (inefficiently) terminate any individual it can reach using it's fists. It's mechanisms for doing this are unknown- it displays very little physical strength compared to the average human and is considered out of shape by foundation employees.
SCP-8244 does not display a real need for nutrition, and has admitted to only eating fast food for the last 10 years due to it's addictive qualities.
SCP-8244 was discovered after manipulating a passcode device and a simple button in order to bypass a non-euclidean encryption technique. It gained the Foundation's attention after the discovery of an extremely disfigured body of a rogue Foundation researcher, seemingly beaten to death with anomalous strength. SCP-8244 was found in it's home using it's computer keyboard to gain a large amount dakimakura for it's sexual desires.
Addendum 8244-1: Due to the possibly world-ending capabilities of SCP-8244, neutralization tests have been approved, as long as they don't involve input devices.
Addendum 8244-2: After a major containment breach, SCP-8244 was recontained by Foundation agents by luring it into a trap inside of the city it attempted to control. The former city, now designated Site-69, was evacuated and its citizens amnestated. A cover story of a large-scale terrorist attack is to be fed into news media to prevent a breach of secrecy.

 

cool
so im back in the cell, except it's in site-69?

 

ye

 

oke
wait
is it still a city if theres no people and its now site 69?

 

It's treated as a city by the government so i guess