Bullshit Your Way To Victory: The Revival

an example would be that a literal black hole appeared in my ass, destroying us and site 69. Both mes respawn in the air, where we take 3 points of fall damage upon hitting the ground.
We are still alive, and we take the city.

 

the black hole eats more and more earth mass exponentially, eventually resulting in the destruction of the solar system.

good job, you've killed us all fuckwit

 

oh well
at least i was the last owner of the city lol

 

but you don't own it because it doesn't fucking exist

 

"I need healing." My final words, my final breath before being suck-suck into tha big black hole ;)

But suddenly, parallel universe.

"Lol me complex theory was 110% correct." Says alternate universe me, who became a scientist for some mid-life crisis reason. "Okey me go back to city." I shrug and return to the city, which is mine because parallel events. As per the theorem, everyone who died before is alive again, as an alternate self.

Mercy has rez'd. The city is mine.

 

woo alternate universes
as the fidget cube 'died', they are now brought back, which one me uses the pulling thing to give the city to me when pulled.
i pull it, and it is ours.

 

Not anymore because the citizens didn't like you and left after blowing up the city. They built a new city and gave the city to some random guy. This random guy happened to be me.
Mine.

 

It was a mistake and they read ur name wring. The right name was potatoshaga. Mine

 

thats not a name
I usurp the throne by seiging the city, starving it until it is forced to surrender

 

cool
i usurp the throne by playing [this] on loop until everyone's ears are raped so much that they just give the throne to me
mine

 

i break the device you're using to play this music, saving everyone's ears, and they give me the throne
mine

 

i make the top right button on the fidget cube create 100 speakers around the city, blasting [this] on loop.
then they give it to me again in order to stop being raped in the ears.
mine.

 

roundhouse dick

 

uppercut dick

 

dick

 

penis

 

you said a bad word

 

oh no

 

oh shit