Bullshit Your Way To Victory: The Revival

Still mine from then m9 also we have machine guns of death mounted on the walls.

 

Ok.
It turns out that, despite the threatening name, the machine guns shoot marshmallows.
Then we break through the walls using cyborg powers and stab you.
Ours.

 

unfortunately, by breaking through the walls instead of scaling them, you've destroyed a vital defense, allowing me to punch you in the dick

 

Unfortunately, we have no dick.
Instead, we punch you in the dick.
Still ours.

 

Dead
Mine

 

R.I.P You
Ours.

 

Shot dead after my revival
Mine

 

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing?

Not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing?
YES! The danger must be growing, for the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing, any signs that they are slowing!!!
Woooooooaaaaaa

u die.
mien citeh.

 

u die in a river.
mine.

 

I befriend the river while dying, however, and we flood the entire city. You die with your lungs ablaze as you scream out in utter agony. After cleansing the city of filth and filling it with riverpeople, I name it "Rivercity." Because I'm a creative person.

My city.

 

unfortunately, due to rising sea levels because of melting sea ice, your city becomes completely submerged and you fucking die. i set up a small boat on the site of the city, claiming it as my own.

 

unfortunately i rise from the dead and punch you in the dick
mine

 

unfortunately SJWs murder you for assuming their gender, and give me the city because they're a bias group with ulterior motives. Mine

 

unfortunately the SJW's noticed your sneaky edit of 'his', and murder you for assuming genders. then they give the city to me, due to ulterior motives.
mine

 

unfortunately for you, i actually have a dick, making for a very confused heart attack faster than a father in the Bible Belt can kill his daughter for being lesbian

 

I cut your dick.
Mine.

 

i use a bandage.
i then grind your dick down into nothing with sandpaper

 

Congratulations! You're the lucky winner of a thousand bullets to the face!
Mine

 

i simultaneously punch every single bullet in the dick, neutralizing them. I then punch you in the dick

 

ERROR: BULLETS DO NOT HAVE DICKS
Mine