Bullshit Your Way To Victory: The Revival

are you obsessed with dick-punching or what
do you even have a dick
>googles "do soda/juice things have dicks"

i close my lungs and all orifices in my body, causing me to shut down into hibernation while trapping you inside me.
i also play weeb shit while you're in there
now i have possession of you and the city/jar

 

you also fucking die because i punched through your fucking body

 

why do i die
just because i no longer have a dick/crotch area doesnt mean i die
i just get some bricks or shit in that hole
then like cement it
then i like get some duct tape to hold it together
then i like stick my lower half outside, freezing it and you
then i like, still have the city/jar

 

your blood still circulates through that part of your body, effectively distributing the coldness across your body, making you unconscious in minutes and eventually killing you. Meanwhile, I decrease bodily density to a degree that I expand enough to break through your body and goop out of your orfices. I shove you outside and shove the door, and radio someone to rescue me.

 

how do you use a radio, you're a pile of goop
anyway, luckily, i use my distress beacon to call out to other me before i die (which i definitely didn't forget about), who flies in (being a cyborg) and traps you in a tupperware box. i then leave you there, and take ded me and the jar/city to fucking mount everest, where other me fixes me.

coolio the city is mine

 

IT IS MY CITY

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I'll OFFER EVERYONE FREE Salted's MILK AND ESTABLISH MYSELF AS GOD

 

i punch the box's dick and escape and sneak onto the plane.
unfortunately for you, the immediate change between the plane's air pressure and the atmospheric pressure of Mount Everest asphyxiates you both, and makes the jar violently explode due to the enormous amount of relative AND GOD DAMNIT

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how can you be god
if there is no god

 

It's time for World War III

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The city needs some milk

 

no it's not it's a single fuckin city

 

I'll force people to establish god

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Who cares

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It looks lie this city is gonna die

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A nation defeated by it's enemies can rise again but one that crumbles from within...

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Its like the same thing to a city scale

 

no it's not, a city cannot die. It can be destroyed, however.

 

MINE MINE MINE MINE

 

but destroying the city ruins the entire point of the game
fuck necro

 

lol no

 

i shoot you
mine
HOLY FUCK

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we shoot you
mine?

 

Well nothing that is not living can die so not even nations..

 

too bad

 

go away bitches

 

unfortunately for you, I'm too good

 

we aint bitches
SHIT THE NECROS ARE TOO MUCH