Bullshit Your Way To Victory: The Revival

I start manufacturing an army of cyborg furries

mine

 

But Arnold Schwarzenegger comes back from the future and stops you
Mine

 

He decides to move on to be Governor and leaves you defenseless.
I punch you in the dick

 

You didn't claim the city.
I claim it, and punch you in the G E N I T A L S.

 

I make a new city and claim that...
I'm calling it city B

 

To bad, Russia claims the city with politics and I'm given ownership over it

 

too bad, North Korea just took over the government of Russia and is taking over the world.
In the meantime I punch you in the dick

 

You explode, mine

 

I accuse you of blowing a person up, and you get executed for murder. Mine.

 

You're apprehended due to you participating in the creatively limiting trend of saying "mine"

 

You didn't claim the city though.
I 360 noscope you, and claim the city.

 

The roof falls on you and crushes you to death. I stroll in and claim the city.

I also build extra defensive walls out of old memes, so it's hard to break into.

 

I take a ladder and climb over the walls.
I jump down and 720 noscope you.
Finally, I take my clone from the alternate dimension (which I definitely didn't forget about) and have other me start building a giant death ray somewhere.

Oh yeah, I claim the city.

 

Due to a long string of unfortunate circumstances your alternate version ended up killing you before tripping and falling onto a landmine. Due to the anarchy I come in to bring peace and the citizens give me the city.
I own the city

 

You slip on a banana walking off the stage, hit your head and die, and I give everyone puppies at your funeral. They give me the city, and the puppies are all on my side.

 

I give the puppies a mother to love. Then I give everyone kittens so they give me the city.

 

I tell the puppies to abandon the mother and chase the kittens up trees. I then claim the city.

 

I revive myself and use the power of bullshit to take over the city.

 

I take over the original city A. Mine.

 

Both me's respawn through a long string of fortunate circumstances, and shoot you.
As no-one is in charge, we just say "lol we own you now" and everyone just sorta agrees.