Bullshit Your Way To Victory: The Revival

I launch a surprise attack by crossing the Alps, a tactic previously thought to be impossible, instead of crossing directly from Africa to the Italian Peninsula. Through a combination of factors including the most well trained soldiers being stationed near the tip of Italy, a total surprise attack, Roman political gridlock and pure strategic skill I am able to win multiple smashing victories at places like Cannae. I lay siege to the city until it's forced to surrender due to a lack of necessities like food, forever changing the course of history.
Hannibal wins

 

I make a time machine and stop that from ever happening, and get back and destroy the time machine before anyone can stop me.

 

Except you cause a paradox and the universe implodes.

I chill from my alternate universe I'm still in after the whole wormhole thing, and decide to build a new city on the wreckage of the old universe. I name it Coruscant, and it will inspire an entire trilogy of movies.

 

the trilogy of movies causes a young fighter to be born, Luke Skywalker.

he takes over the city and names it City.

 

logic proof that this is my city:
TERFs exist
TERFs say that they're inclusive, yet they don't include trans people
In binary, inclusion is 1 and a lack of inclusion is 0
Therefore, in order for both to coexist, 0 must equal 1
0=1
The state of having the city is 1, and the state of not having the city is 0
I do not have the city
Not having the city is equivalent to having the city
I have the city

done

 

Ice Bear thinks this is circle logic and its premise of TERFs is a bit far of a stretch from 0=1. Ice Bear also knows that in the very basic rules of math 0 does not equal 1. Ice Bear should probably get back to work now.

 

Bear owns the city.

 

Ice bear is thinking through basic Bear intuition, and does not realize that math is a human invention, with axioms and assumptions required to make it work. I'm simply following logic, not some made up rules about math.

 

I modify your genetic code and take away everything that makes you smart. That now doesn't make sense to you.

My city.

 

I summon my inner weeb and disintegrate you (two?).
Mine.

 

I sense pockets oil located deep beneath this fine city. With the power within me, I liberate this city by using the all mighty power of 'Murica and Capitalism to drive out you evil commies and fascist out of this land to make it pure. This land is now a territory of the U.S.A.. I set up oil pumps all over the city and extract the oil to create and buy weapons.

My oil

 

We dig underground and burn all the oil. Then we brutally murder you.
Ours.

 

Fracking causes a major magnitude 10.8 earthquake, destroying everything. I rebuild the city afterward.

Mine.

 

Hey buddy can we share?

 

Y'know, sharing sorta kills the purpose of the thread.
It can also kill a thread altogether (KoTH).

 

However, your poor architecture causes the city to collapse. I rebuild the city and hire Donald Trump to build a wall around it. The entrance is a toll booth and citizens of the city can cross for free :D

 

The sheer amount of tax money required to build a "big, beutiful wall" requires you to raise taxes and cut other important things taxes go to, like roads and schools. The citizens leave to another city, leaving your city without anybody to defend it.
I walk in and punch you in the face, and claim the city.

 

I summon my voidal kin. We easily overwhelm you, just kind of chilling in the desolate city. Then we convert it into a Zerg empire. All your city are belong to us.

 

I give a well researched speech on how giving the city to me would increase jobs, GDP, and also decrease poverty and wealth inequality. Everyone votes me into leadership, and I bring prosperity to the citystate.

 

... except the Zerg don't care about that stuff at all and kill you dead.

Still mine.