Corrupt A Wish!

Granted, you get the Switch's autistic brother. The Siwtch. The only game it can play is "Fidget Spinner Simulator".

I wish that today would just speed up and become tomorrow already!

 

Granted, but time never slows, it only speeds up, and you die of old age within 24 hours

I wish for a nice mug of tea

 

Granted! It's scalding hot and impossible to cool down.

I wish for Grian to join Hermitcraft.

 

Granted, but he's immediately banned for mucking up everyone's redstone.

I wish for wynncraft to never lag

 

Granted! They achieve this by deleting Gavel and Corkus.

I wish for Jumla to get a spill-proof coffee mug.

 

Granted, but it looks terrible so he never uses it

I wish for this wish to become a wish that is not a wish yet at the same time is a wish, thus being a wish, yet not a wish

 

Granted. But you'll get a popup saying "wish.exe stopped working"

I wish to have a dollar.

 

Granted! It gives you a papercut which then becomes infected, requiring 20$ in antibiotics.

I wish for 'covfefe' to be added to the dictionary.

 

Granted. It becomes a very annoying meme and you commit suicide out of annoyance.

I wish I found my lost 3DS.

 

Granted, but it's broken

I wish for my old ds lite to work again

 

Granted. You spend £100,000 on fixing it.

I wish for Kim Jong Un to admit his lies to the North Korean population, step down and establish a democracy in his place, in which he and his family do not participate.

 

Granted, but Trump moves to North Korea and becomes the next president.

I wish the next person below will die a fiery death. ^_^

 

Granted, I go out in the heat of battle, but not before taking ISIS out with me. please don't ban me for bringing politics in this or something idk

I wish for a functional and decently-lightweight black laptop with a 15.3 inch screen, aswell as atleast 8 gigs of ram, 1 TB of storage, and a GTX 1080, as well as an unused 100$ Steam Giftcard to redeem into my personal Steam account. It will be summoned in 1 hour, and appears in my freezer with an anti-theft proof case that prevents it from literally any danger besides myself (if I'm even considered one...?)

 

Granted, but the laptop explodes right when you press the power button

I wish for a nirvana that has 3 t6 water powders

 

This would still be an enormous improvement, as
1) Trump is no longer president of America and doesn't have nearly as much power.
2) He can be voted out.
3) Trump's America isn't quite as bad as Kim Jong Un's North Korea.
Does that count? I'm pretty sure you're supposed to make the wish into a bad thing, not a less-good-than-it-was-before thing.

Granted! The mods are convinced you got it with a glitch and you are banned for it.

I wish for a normal teaspoon.

 

Granted, however I steal it later

I wish I was less busy

 

Granted! You have absolutely nothing to do and your Internet is permanently and rereparably down.

I wish for a pickpocket-proof bag.

 

Wish granted!
However to make it pickpocket-proof
you can't open it, and no one can

Your possessions are forever safe from thieves, and you

I wish I was the tip of a North Korean ICBM

 

Granted, they fire it, at your house, the last thing you see is your house as you drop down towards it, bringing the destruction of many treasured items and memories.

I wish for WWIII not to happen

 

Granted! Instead, a jihadist totalitarian dictatorship is able to take over the world with no resistance!

I wish for a an end to the protection of religious beliefs against scrutiny.