Lore/Story Zinallia: With Visual Aids

pantsTM · Jun 23, 2017

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pantsTM · Jun 24, 2017

pantsTM said: ↑

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shirtTM · Jun 26, 2017

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pantsTM · Jul 1, 2017

LiquifiedEmerald said: ↑

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EDIT: making an entire world devoted to zinallia, w/ some spoilers and side projects

pantsTM · Jul 2, 2017

pantsTM said: ↑

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pantsTM · Jul 2, 2017

@Nepeta Leijon for some reason, I have a feeling you have something to say about this...

pantsTM · Jul 4, 2017

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Aya · Jul 4, 2017

pantsTM said: ↑

Billions of years into the future, Gavel, Wynn, Corkus, Fruma, and Dern no longer exist. There is only..

*

The world's strongest heroes were able to come together and defeat Him, but at what cost?

Characters and Personalities

Rinakal: Stubborn, jumps into things without a plan. Warrior. Age 15. Male.
Aberaea: Calm, levelheaded. Mage. Age 16. Female.
Eneq: Reasonable, but easily frustrated. Assassin. Age 16. Male.
Him: He is above. (I don't want to disclose too much about him as of now.)
King Dalao: A calm man with many plans. The master strategist of his age.

Chapter I: Ruins
"Come on, Eneq, the borders are open!"
An annual event was oncoming. The metal plated walls that surrounded Zinallia, fueled with ancient magic that had lasted millions of years and billions more to come, were open. The greatest adventurers were allowed access into the world, uncharted lands for thousands of miles. Only the greatest were presented with the honor to venture out, and so Eneq, Aberaea, and Rinakal were overjoyed with this privilege.
"Ugh, hurry up! You assassins can't ever speed up, can you?" said Rinakal.
"Remind me again why we're doing this? Nobody's ever returned from this journey." asked Aberaea.
"If we die, we die with honor. For the glory of Zinallia." said Rinakal.
"Attention, glorified residents of Zinallia! Today the young ascend into a grand journey. The wilderness that few have dared to explore is exposed! For the glory of Zinallia!" exclaimed the king. Dalao is truly the greatest minded man of this time.
"LOOK! A Sarnfic Mage!" a man in the crowd exclaimed.
And he was not wrong. On the west side of the walls, an ancient Sarnfic wizard raised entire waves to his will, and he was riding on them without any means of transportation, except for a glowing wand. Rinakal could feel its saddening aura, even from so far away. Panic broke out on the streets immediately. Men and women were escorting their children out of the chaos, to no avail.
Everything went black and the streets went quiet.

http://imgur.com/5bXi7cx
From left to right: Eneq, Aberaea, Rinakal, King Dalao.

You'll need this information in the next chapter.
The Scheme: the worst crime committed in Zinallia, the culprit has not been caught to this day. Nobody knows what the crime was except for Dalao.
The Blackness: the time when Wynn was destroyed and Dern took control of Gavel.
The Flash: the time when all the provinces except Fruma were destroyed. The remains created Zinallia. None of the citizens of Gavel, Wynn, Corkus, or Dern survived. Fruma repopulated the entire race of humans. Some villagers also repopulated the villager race, despite Fruma's demand not to.
The Battle: Fruma is destroyed by Him (although this is highly questionable, the Scheme happened centuries before) and its remains become part of Zinallia. He is defeated(?).

Chapter II: Standing
The rubble laid across the desolate streets in large chunks. The streets were silent. All the citizens were either dead or unconsious. Rinakal erupted from the debris, and saw the mage standing directly across from him. He charged at the mage, screaming at him with his flaming spear, but the Sarnfic mage stopped him with a wave of his hand, sending a wave of water at him. Rinakal came out soaked.
"How did you survive The Flash? Didn't your kind die out before the Blackness?" Rinakal asked before charging again.
The Sarnfic mage imprisoned him in a cage of solidified water. It was hard enough to interact with, and so it was impossible to get out. "I have no idea what you are talking about. What flash? I am growing senile..." he replied.
"Never mind. Let me OUT! You killed them all. WHY?! Thousands of years of progress... ruined by you..!" He yelled.
"You idiotic child. Dalao... was that his name? Was the mastermind of the Scheme." said the mage quietly.
"Impossible." said Rinakal. "There is no way..."
"There is. Dalao is Him."

http://imgur.com/kfSlMH7
Unknown character side by side with the Sarnfic mage.

Chapter III: Understanding
"...But... how? How was he able - " Rinakal said before he was cut off.
"Hush. We do not have much time. There is a hideout not far from here. We must hurry there, quickly!" said the Sarnfic mage hurriedly.
"But my friends..." Rinakal replied.
"Are dead. I'm sorry, but there is no chance for them now."
"Are you sure about that?" A voice behind them said.
They both twirled around to see Aberaea standing next to Eneq, glowing magic residue spewing from her wand.
"Thank God!" Rinakal said.
"Who's the old man?" said Eneq.
"I am Teyhaq, the oldest of the Relics in this world. I was made to protect this world, so I was granted with immortality." the Sarnfic mage said.
"What are the - " Rinakal's mind swirled around with questions.
"NO TIME! Hurry! Get outside of the walls!" Teyhaq said.
They rushed through a small crack in the door. It was tiny compared to the door, but more than enough for them to fit through.
Before long, they were met by a large hole in the ground, surronded with small and subtle rocks. Teyhaq picked one up and said to it: "entrance admission Relic A-4, password Compromised horrors."
"What are you doing? You can't talk to a - " Rinakal said before he was cut off by a mechanical but human voice: "Hey, Teyhaq. Voice print?"
"There is always light at the end of the tunnel." He said to the rock again.
"Wha - " Eneq said before he was cut off.
A large gap opened in front of them.
"Jump." said Teyhaq.
"How deep does that go...?" asked Aberaea.
"Oh, about 10 stories." Teyhaq replied.
"Are you stupid?!?" said Eneq.
"I've gotten you this far, haven't I?" he said angrily.
"Oh, fine. But we better not die, or I'm going to slaughter you in the afterliiiiiiiife - *" said Aberaea as she jumped down the gap.
They were met by a soft, cushioning pool of water and a half robot, half man humanoid.
"Hello." said the cyborg. It was the mechanical/human voice from before. He was holding 2 spears with a blue handle and an odd iron blade."My name is Cerid. I am Relic B-7. You kids have a lot to learn."
Aberaea, Rinakal, and Eneq looked around. They saw more species that had gone extinct and people that had died. They saw elves, avos, more robots...
"This is impossible. How did all these people..." Rinakal asked.
"Hello." said an elf that appeared out of nowhere. He wielded a bow, glowing with immense air magic. "My name is Mirey. I'll be showing you to your quarters."
Nontheless suspicious, they still followed Mirey down a hall of bunk beds. They were all labeled by name. Some residents had the oddest names, like "Qareasdaws".
Eventually, they found beds that were labeled with their names. They put themselves to sleep on Mirey's orders. But they were all wondering the same thing.
Are these people who they say they are?

http://imgur.com/W9ygaTx
Left to right: Cerid, Mirey.

Chapter IV: War
"I don't trust these people." said Rinakal.
It was morning (or so they were told) and Aberaea, Rinakal, and Eneq were eating a small breakfast consisting of soggy cereal. The Resistance, or so they called themselves, had little resources, and what they did have was mostly armor and weaponry. They were preparing for war against Zinallia. News from the surface was that Zinallia had mostly recovered from Teyhaq's attack. They were preparing to retaliate with their full power.
"Relax. I'm sure they wouldn't have such a crew if they were wrong." said Eneq. Eneq was geared up with the strongest armor the Resistance had, as he had to job to assassinate King Dalao.
"He is the largest threat to the remains of humanity. If we do not stop him, he will obliterate us one by one. I have enlisted Eneq - " Cheers were yelled throughout the room "- to assassinate Dalao. FOR ZINALLIA!" chanted Teyhaq, who was the leader of this cabal.
The chant echoed throughout the room. The warriors were inspired by his call to action.
The mission would start the next day. Teyhaq wanted an advantage on Dalao, so all the warriors were being trained, but none nearly as hard as Eneq. He nearly always came out bleeding, and worked much later than the rest. They all knew war was coming. One night, Eneq got to bed early. He was growing steadily more powerful. He neglected to take his armor off. He started to believe that it was possible to kill Him. Teyhaq trained him in spells, Cerid trained him in weaponry (he still couldn't believe that Cerid was alive, he had supposedly died in the Flash, like Siegfried and other famous heroes), and Mirey taught him in precision. Precision was of the utmost importance, for if he missed his strike, he would be cut to pieces. He woke up the next morning, went out of his chambers, and realized the sky was on fire.
"Dalao" was here.

http://imgur.com/DmWZGXg
"Dalao" is here.

Chapter V: Endgame
"BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW LORD! NAKRELA, GOD OF DEATH! LORD OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY!" said Nakrela.
"Never. If you are unholy, you are unfit to rule!" replied Eneq. He blew a hole in the wall using his supernatural speed and kicked off Nakrela's helmet. Using his knowledge of spells from Teyhaq's classes, he was able to blast himself into the air and disarm "Dalao". He blasted through the walls again, and woke up some of the strongest warriors up: Aberaea, Rinakal, Mirey, Enja, Cerid, and Teyhaq. They started casting spells and firing arrows and charging at him, but their efforts were futile. Only Eneq's nearly mastered skills were able to touch Nakrela. Nakrela threw off Eneq's helmet and punched him in the face.
"I RAISE THE DEAD, WARRIORS IN THE LIFE AND AFTERLIFE!" said Nakrela
Recruits from Zinallia's military rose from the ground, more erupting each second. They were ghostlike, and hard to hit, and harder to kill.
"Hold them at bay!" said Eneq. "I'm going to kill Nakrela!"
"FOOLISH BOY. YOU CANNOT KILL THAT WHICH CAN REVIVE ITSELF." said Nakrela. "DID YOU KNOW THAT THESE ARE LIES? YOU ARE MY CHILD. YOU WERE BIRTHED BECAUSE OF ME. THAT IS THE ONLY REASON YOU CAN HIT ME."
Eneq laid there for a moment, stunned. Then he stood up, and said, "You may be what created me... but you are not my father."
The battle was at its peak now. Thousands against half a dozen. Eneq needed to turn the tide. Nakrela summoned his helmet to him and put it on. "CONSIDER YOUR CHOICES NOW, SON. YOU CAN HELP ME, OR YOU CAN DIE. CHOOSE WISELY." Nakrela said slowly.
"Didn't you hear me?" Eneq said. "YOU!" he punched off Nakrela's helmet. "ARE!" he kicked Nakrela's wand out of his hand. "NOT!" he punched him in the face. Blood was trickling down his throat. "MY!" He stabbed Nakrela in the chest. "FATHER!!" Nakrela slumped to the floor, dying. "I WILL... RE... TURN..." then he dissipated into dust. Zinallia's military also turned to sand and blew away in the wind. A smile broke upon Eneq's face, and tears tainted the ground.

Eneq killing Nakrela.
http://imgur.com/tWBDQsz

Epilouge: 20 Years Later
"Come on, Quaneth, the borders are open!"
An annual event was oncoming. The metal plated walls that surrounded Zinallia, fueled with ancient magic that had lasted millions of years and billions more to come, were open. The greatest adventurers were allowed access into the world, uncharted lands for thousands of miles. Only the greatest were presented with the honor to venture out, and so Quaneth, Zenal, and Pasal were overjoyed with this privilege.
"Ugh, hurry up! You assassins can't ever speed up, can you?" said Zenal.
"Remind me again why we're doing this? Nobody's ever returned from this journey." asked Pasal.
"If we die, we die with honor. For the glory of Zinallia." said Zenal.
"Attention, glorified residents of Zinallia! Today the young ascend into a grand journey. The wilderness that few have dared to explore is exposed! For the glory of Zinallia!" exclaimed King Eneq.
"LOOK!" a man in the crowd exclaimed.
A man came through a small crack in the walls, half his skull showing and bleeding very badly. He held a blazing dagger with fire instead of blade. Zenal could feel its burning power, even from so far away. He was not known to anyone in Zinallia.
"I.. seem to be... lost."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

20 years after Rinakal, Aberaea, Eneq, Cerid, Mirey, and Tahyaq killed Him, a lost man of unknown origin wandered into Zinallia. He doesn't remember anything.

*

How long until the next catastrophe occurs?

Characters and Personalities

Zenal Alanath: Warmhearted but also fierce. Archer. Female. Age 16. Daughter of Mirey Alanath and Aberaea Vyal.
Pasal Alanath: Calm, but quiet. Assassin. Male. Age 17. Son of Eneq and Manazal Alanath.
Quaneth Vyal: Reasonable, but thinks he's above all. Mage. Male. Age 15. Son of Rinakal Vyal and Tyalon Wkana.
Caol Vyal: Young and pure. No chosen class yet. Female. Age 9. Daughter of Rinakal Vyal and Tyalon Wkana.
Him: He is dead.
King Eneq: A calm man with many plans and no ancestors. Retired Asssassin, current king of Zinallia. Male. Age 36. Married to Manazal Alanath.
Rinakal Vyal: has calmed down for the most part, but still lets his temper get the best of him from time to time. Brother to Aberaea Vyal. Retired Warrior, current lumberjack. Male. Age 35. Married to Tyalon Wkana.
Aberaea Vyal: Still calm and levelheaded. Has not changed for the most part. Sister to Rinakal Vyal. Mage. Female. Age 36. Married to Mirey Alanath.
Mirey Alanath: A calm elf that is obsessed with tranquility. One of the Relics. Brother to Manazal Alanath. Archer. Male. Age 842,532. Married to Aberaea Vyal.
Manazal Alanath: A calm elf that is obsessed with peace. One of the Relics. Sister to Mirey Alanath. Archer. Female. Age 842,528. Married to Eneq.
Tyalon Wkana: Ferocious and wildly protective of her children. Assassin. Female. Age 34. Married to Rinakal Vyal.
"Fire Eater": A strangely calm man with a scorching hot dagger and unknown origins.
Teyhaq Walaiok: An ancient Sarnfic resident. One of the Relics. Retired mage. Male. Age 94. Now works as doctor at Zinallia Healing™.
Cerid: Deceased. One of the Relics.

Chapter I: Another
"After this morning's incident, I don't know if we're safe." said Quaneth.
"Don't be stupid. These walls have already lasted millions of years. We're safe in here." said Pasal in his rough, scratchy voice. Nobody knew why he wore his hood, except Eneq and Tyalon.
"Like Teyhaq hasn't destroyed them. Remember? That's how Dalao was discovered to be Him. Then Eneq killed Him..." replied Quaneth.
"I KNOW THE STORY." said Pasal.
Pasal, Quaneth, and Zenal were sitting at a table in Eneq's castle. They were calmly eating lunch after the event that happened earlier, and Quaneth and Pasal were discussing if the walls of Zinallia were safe.
"Anyways, if it wasn't for Teyhaq's stupid actions, the walls would not have been breached." Pasal said. "IF he waited for the doors to open, he never would've - "
"But Dalao still got in, despite being Nakrela." said Quaneth.
"True, but that was because Nakrela's a LITERAL GOD!" Pasal exclaimed.
"Well, you're a literal b - " said Quaneth.
"BOYS. Break it up or I'll break you up." Tyalon said. She had just walked into the room.
"Ok, mom." Quaneth mumbled.
"It's a beautiful day outside, kids. Why don't you - is that Teyhaq?" said Tyalon.
A wave of water splashed throughout the castle corridor, making everyone in the vicinity wet.
"TEYHAQ, YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" screamed Tyalon. "Ugh. You just made me curse in front of the kids..."
"Sorry." Tehyaq said. He couldn't hide his extreme amusement. "There's an emergency at the hospital and this was the quickest way there. I've nearly forgotten how it feels to ride on the waves... to bend the tides to my will...."
"So you extended the drying period of these clothes by a week for nostalgia." Tyalon said.
"And an emergency. There's a situation at the hospital."
"Ok, fine. Be good, kids. I'm going to send Dad back, if he's not too busy..."
"Alright." said Quaneth.
Shortly after, Rinakal came.
"Hey, kids." Rinakal said. They were all playing on their electronic devices. Rinakal muttered a curse.
"KIDS, GET OFF THE DEVICES OR I WILL CUT THEM IN HALF WITH MY AXE." Rinakal said loudly.
"Ok, jeez." Quaneth muttered under his breath.
"Want me to show you how a warrior fights?" Rinikal was still proud of himself for helping to kill Him 20 years ago, so he swore he would never forget how to use a spear.
Of course, none of the kids were interested, so Zenal just flat out said: "We don't care."
"Wait... is that.... oh Lord.. KIDS, GET BEHIND ME!" Rinakal said.
He was looking out the window and saw the Fire Eater charging at the castle. The corridor exploded with white-hot flames.

http://imgur.com/XBkZZa3
Left to right: Teyhaq, Aberaea, Mirey, Eneq, Tyalon, Pasal, Zenal, Hanazal, Quaneth, Rinikal, Caol, "Flame Eater"
http://imgur.com/rqM53N5
Cerid's grave.

Chapter II: Going Nowhere
Immediatley, Rinikal started screaming at the Fire Eater. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU BLEW UP THIS ANCIENT CASTLE! IT'LL TAKE YEARS TO REBUILD!"
"W-what? I blew it up? I didn't do anything..." the Fire Eater said in shock.
"Yes, you did. Are you blind? You just obliterated this!" He pointed the rubble. "You almost killed CHILDREN!" He pointed to Quaneth, Zenal, and Pasal.
"I have no recollection of this." he said.
"Seriously?" Rinikal said with a sarcastic but still questioning tone. "Well, let's get you back to the hospital. We'll sort this all out there."
Rinikal called Aberaea, who teleported them to the hospital. "Just remember that you owe me." Aberaea said before teleporting back again.
Apparently, the Fire Eater suffered from the same thing that Fruma citizens used to suffer from, except it was consistent. He constantly had memory loss, forgetting things quite often.
"Can you fix it?" the Fire Eater asked. It was obvious he was desperate to fix any problem.
"Well, we haven't found a cure yet. But since Fruma was destroyed and the citizens to suffer from this condition are dead, we haven't had a subject to test it on or get samples of. But hopefully, we'll be able to fix it soon." Said Teyhaq.
Eneq teleported into the hospital room with Aberaea, but this time she didn't leave. Eneq examined the Fire Eater. He then said, "I warn you, if you do that again, you will be punished. I do not care if you have forgotten where or who you are. If you touch my castle one more time, you will suffer." Eneq then left again.

Chapter III: Ghost Stories
"Dad, I have some questions." asked Quaneth. "What was the Scheme? How did Cerid survive the Flash, and how did he die?"
"It's a.. long story." Rinikal said.
"Tell us." said Pasal.
The kids and Rinikal were sitting on the floor of the castle.
"Well, Eneq is king because of a very old tradition. " 'He who bests the ruler in combat takes authority.' "
"But what relevance does this - " Zenal said before being cut off by Rinikal.
"You'll see. Anyways, Nakrela bested his ruler in combat easily. It wasn't hard, because he was a god. The Scheme is the greatest crime in the history of Zinallia because they allowed Him to rule. Although he was seemingly good, he killed anyone who saw him defeat his predecessor."
They sat down in silence.
"So, how did Cerid survive the Flash? How did Gavel, Wynn, Dern, and Corkus even get destroyed?" said Zenal.
"Well, He used a series of immensely powerful black magic. It is the hardest spell in the world to cast, but it can wipe out worlds and obliterate provinces. Such power is not to be used jokingly. Cerid survived because he was at Fruma, trying to ally his kind with their kind. He died in battle. We were outside the gates, on an adventure. This was 18 years ago. 2 years after killing Him, we longed for battle again, and that was a fatal mistake. We found a rare Corkus mech, imported to a portion of Gavel that wasn't destroyed by the black magic. People were desperate to kill Him, so they had heard it was about as hard to kill as Nakrela. So they imported it to Cinfras. Idiots. It was self-repairing, and it was growing in size. It was the hardest thing we had faced since He had breached the walls of Zinallia. Soon, it would have killed us all. But Cerid went into the heart of the machine and put in small explosives that generated a chain reaction inside the mech. He made the explosives out Mandagora roots, Phrumkin seeds and a Volt Goat horn. I will never forget that day."
They all went silent. Then, slowly, one by one, they stepped out of the castle and into the sunset.

Chapter IV: Control
"Take control of the blade! Do not let it control you!"
Raufa, the Fire Eater's coach, was teaching him how to use his sword. It was incredibly powerful, so they were trying to control it, and it seemed to be working. He was next to another silent instructor.
"AGGGHH!" the blade burned some of the Fire Eater's hand, melting skin.
Everything went black.
He woke up in his hospital bed again. He looked at his hand... it wasn't there. His arm was a stump.
"Oh my lord." He was chained to the hospital bed. There was no one in the room.
He struggled to get up, but no one was there to help him.
After a few hours, the nurse downstairs came up. She blatantly ignored his cries of terror, and went straight up to the roof. She was holding a pickaxe... odd, the Fire Eater thought. Why would she have a...
Then he realized that the nurse was going to commit suicide.
"PLEASE! LISTEN TO ME! YOU HAVE TO - "
He heard the sickening splurch as she hit the ground. He wondered where all the other staff was. He thought that maybe they had all commit suicide.
Why? he wondered. His heart was racing. How am I supposed to escape?
Then he realized he could hear the birds chirping outside. It was never this quiet. Unless.
Everyone was dead.

http://imgur.com/zyjqOXv
Raufa training the Fire Eater.

Chapter V: The Only Way
Several hours had passed. The Fire Eater was not hungry nor thirsty, not tired nor energetic. He was half awake. It seemed he did not need air, food, or water. He had laid there for hours, wondering how to escape. It was out of the question to try and break through. He needed a plan. There was nobody to help him. He had unlimited time.
Then the crashing came.
Horrible, screeching noises followed. The hospital was being invaded by strange creatures. They made horrifying, eerie shrill noises and squishing noises on occasion. They climbed the stairs up to the Fire Eater's bed. They destroyed the chains that held him and crushed his wrists in the process. He screamed as loud as he could, but none of them responded. They could break metal and bone with their bare hands, and held spears worthy of the greatest blacksmith's craftmanship. They brought the Fire Eater to their leader, despite his best efforts to resist. Their leader was standing outside the hospital. He corrupted the ground beneath him. Grass wilted, trees shriveled up and died. He tried to grab his dagger, to no avail. Their leader was a humanoid figure, with a single eye instead of his head. The eye's iris was blue, with veils crawling around the sides.
"OlhelImaWozlaplehemgnunderstandiootchum." he seemed to be straining himself.
In his head, the Fire Eater had many questions. What are these things? How do I stop them? Is everyone really dead? Was I cured from the amnesia? What put me in the hospital bed?
The monsters took him to the top of the castle. They held him by his broken wrists, and stood at the edge.
"No. NO NO NO -"
They dropped him off the castle and he free-fell down.

Chapter VI: Disturbed
As he fell down the building, he wondered what his life meant. Time seemed to slow down, and everything seemed to stop just for him. Then he remembered what his name was.

*
He woke up in his hospital bed, with Eneq and Aberaea standing over him.
"Ah, you're consicious. That was quite a stupid thing to do." said Eneq.
"Wha.. what?" He was a little disorientated.
"You walked off the roof." Abreaea said. "I healed you, but it won't be immediate. You're going to need a few days to heal."
"Really... I..." he was out of words. Then he remembered. "Didn't you die?"
"I'm sure I would've remembered if I died." He teleported out of the hospital again, with no warning.
The Fire Eater got out of his hospital bed. He immediatley tripped and fell. It would not deter him from his mission, though. He walked over to the cold container and opened it. He took out the flaming dagger. The warmth healed him greatly. He stood up straight and walked downstairs. He opened the door. The breeze cooled him down. Leaves flew around like frantic animals.

THINGS TO COME:

http://imgur.com/VAbsKsy
http://imgur.com/zBzemnx
http://imgur.com/avjhvY8
http://imgur.com/4NaXPxp

Click to expand...

"Zinallia"
"Zinallia Otherworld"
before i try reading it
is it a ripoff terraria and terraria otherworld?

pantsTM · Jul 4, 2017

The Grox said: ↑

"Zinallia"
"Zinallia Otherworld"
before i try reading it
is it a ripoff terraria and terraria otherworld?
Click to expand...

I completely forgot about those things. Would you prefer if I changed the name?

pantsTM · Jul 24, 2017

Bump. Alive again.

Caldie · Aug 20, 2017

It's a really good concept imo, but it is definitely too fast paced. The introduction is better but generally the events come on too rapidly and I'm not totally sure Wats going on.
For example this bit: "LOOK! A Sarnfic Mage!" a man in the crowd exclaimed.
And he was not wrong. On the west side of the walls, an ancient Sarnfic wizard raised entire waves to his will, and he was riding on them without any means of transportation.

Instead you could have said something like: Suddenly, the deafening sound of crashing waves enveloped the square. The crowd let out a cry of fear and began to scatter in all directions. Eneq, Rinakal and Aberaea turned around to face the giant walls, then a tidal wave washed over the top, spraying the three friends with a mass of saltwater. They also began to run as they saw the Sarnfic Mage, said by the King to be one of Zinallia's greatest threats. The Mage descended gracefully atop his wave, coming to land in front of the fleeing friends... Etc etc.

And it's obvious that adding more detail gives the story better flow and makes it more understandable. Your story can still evolve well but try to slow it down.

Good luck on the future!

Björgen · Aug 21, 2017

is this truth story or just fanfiction

Caldie · Aug 21, 2017

it's fanfiction :P

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Lore/Story Zinallia: With Visual Aids

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