Bullshit Your Way To Victory

I put on the gauntlet and punch you in the N U T S A K K. I claim the throne.

 

Sorry bud, but your throne is in another castle. I sold it to the Queen of England last week... Who sold it to the Emperor of Japan two days later...

 

I steal it from the emperor and hide it in a large box. I also HIRE A SAMURAI to protect my shit from criminals.
I also nuke all other thrones from orbit, making this throne the only throne to compete for.

 

But the Samurai is a double agent, steals your throne, and delivers it to me. I take it to my castle, guarded by a shitton of soldiers. Once I was in the castle, I downgraded to a fuckton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade.

 

I own the city. Anybody who thinks otherwise is just trying to spread lies about my reign. Fake news. This city is mine, and mine only. There is no city better than this one, you know that, everybody knows that. The only people who think this city isn't mine are dictators who don't know what a city is. Everybody who isn't me and doesn't own this city is a retard. Therefore you are a retard because this isn't your city. Its my city. I just infallibly proved that its my city. Anybody who takes my city is just a mentally unstable dipshit who doesn't understand how politics works. This is my city.

 

I sneak out of my plant pot and throw you to one of the guards, which are unloyal af now that their ruler Switches every 5 mins, then I enjoy my throne with a nice glass of orange Juice.

 

But little did you know... I sold the REAL throne to the president yesterday!

 

I farted so big that the entire city was covered in fart i lit it on fire and reconstructed the city on the Eiffel tower bitch how you deal with that

 

But the president has the throne...

 

but my fire fart killed him

 

But he took it to Japan to show the Japanese Prime Minister...

 

I, once again, nuke all other thrones, then shoot the Japanese Prime Minister with raisins. I claim the throne.

 

aha you are wrong again i hid my fart bombs within your raisons by infiltrating your army you will now die and i will reclaim my throne and rebuild it in the skies

 

Nuclear throne?

I put you in the time-out corner because you have the mental age of a sea sponge.
I, Empress Rhed, have the throne now.

 

But you are not sitting on a throne. You're sitting on a lion. It eats you, and I claim the throne.

 

Joke's on you, I have a vore feti-

I get the throne somehow after that.

 

I call bs and push you off the throne. I have it now.

 

I do a thorough inspection of the throne and determine that there is a florfy on it. I dump the florfy on the floor and use it as a footrest. Empress Rhed has her throne back booiiii

 

I would push it somewhere else

 

I push you somewhere else instead and take the throne.