Lore/Story Wynncraft Novel: The Moonlight Killers (next Chapter Is Out!)

Blurb: The Corruption has weakened and many threats gone, but one unfamiliar hero must face a new enemy, the moonlight killers.

This is work in progress, and not finished , expect a new chapter at least every month, this has nothing to do with the official Wynncraft lore.

Spoiler: Prolouge

Marek stepped of the boat and was welcomed by massive shouts from the pirates. He didn't care about those drunkards, he had work too do.

"Welcome to Pirate Cove!!!" screamed a pirate.

Marek ignored him and kept walking. He had no weapon, no dagger, no spear, no wand and no bow even though he was a recruit from Fruma. He wore all black and also had black hair. His face was covered so only his red eyes would show. He carried a book in his outer pockets and had a small pocket knife, which he never used as weaponry. He climbed up the stairs and headed for the bank.



Not the actual Pirate Cove, but the pic is cool give me a break!


Walking towards the bank, Marek emptied all emotion. He had one job and one mission. He stopped at the front entrance, took a look around, and walked to the nearest pirate.


He passed a few emeralds under the counter.

"I'm here for the job.."

The pirate looked at him blankly and whispered back.

"Take this paper....and do it well...great payment awaits you...."

Marek grinned, took the paper quietly and walked out of the bank as quickly as he could. Being discreet was important in these situations...



Suddenly he felt a blow at his head. He turned back. In front of him stood 50 pirates, armed with swords and one even with a pistol.

One seemed to be there leader. He walked towards Marek with anger on his face. He narrowed his eyes. "Me and you have unfinished business.." he said sternly. "When are you going to pay back that loan huh?" He grimaced.

Marek grinned back. "Tomorrow?" he said jokingly..

The lead pirate roared with anger.

"GET HIM!"

Suddenly all the pirates where running at Marek but he was quick to react. He threw a stick at one of them, dived back and kicked one in the face. Another pirate was approaching but he quickly parried his punch and threw him against the wall, lying on the ground with a black eye.

"AAAARGH!"

The lead pirate raised his pistol. He pulled the trigger and the bullet went soaring right at Marek's head. Marek smiled and fumbled with a pocket watch strapped on his arm. Suddenly time went 80 percent slower and Marek could easily dodge the bullet.

The pirates began running at him but Marek was ready, He begun kicking and punching every pirate in front of him, kicking, pushing into the water, reflecting swords and slowing down time until a heap of bodies lay in front of him. Only the lead pirate remained.


He aimed his pistol and pulled the trigger. Marek laughed as with his pocket knife he deflected the bullet and it went though the lead pirates head, killing him. Marek smiled, rolled his sleeves, and went to catch the SeaSkipper, reading the paper as he went.

Spoiler: Chapter One

Marek sulked as he got off the SeaSkipper. He never talked to him. He only talked to Wynn warriors and other villagers. He shrugged, it had always been like that. He walked to the sounds of sailors screaming, Item Buyers, young villagers running around..

All this was beautiful but Marek only had one motive. He flipped his watch. It was four in the afternoon. He had the time to go grab a potion of drunkenness. As he walked he looked at all the people, staring at him and then running away weirdly. Was it because of his eyes?

As he walked into the tavern he noticed every drunkard turning around to look at him. A man with a beard pointed at him and whispered something in his friends ear. He sighed and went over to the main table and sat down by himself.

"One potion of drunkenness please" said Marek to the bar keeper.

The bar keeper said nothing and went over to a chest, where he grabbed a potion and passed it to Marek.

This was the only thing Marek looked forward too. That potion after work. As he drank, he felt all his problems pass away and he began to remember things.

He remembered the caravan, slowly coming to a spot at that hill. He remembered when he was enjoying life in Fruma when all of a sudden he was shipped away from his family. He remembered the caravan, the one he and four other "heroes" where travelling to Wynn.

Marek took another sip and spat remembering the other heroes with him. There was a female mage, a warrior, and an archer. He remembered when his parents told him that he should learn to became an assassin, he threw away his training dagger and that was never spoken about again.

Marek took a massive sip.

The mage, archer and warrior had told him that great things would happen in Wynn. They will be rich, and become well known across the province. But seeing them know, all he saw where SLAVES,SLAVES for the provinces and shut to doing there dirty work. He was glad he had broken free of that pact.

He finished the bottle and got up.

He smiled. He had killed the heroes and caravan driver, stolen their money and ran through the pigman ravines until he was safe. He wasn't a coward like those slaves. He worked alone. As a part time assassin, thief and whatever other bad things you could think of. He pulled his black jacket closer to him and left the pub. He never payed for drinks.

He walked silently to his house at the very edge of Nemract, opened the door (it didn't have a key, he didn't need one) and lay on his bed. It wasn't very spectacular but it was home. It had one room, with a stove on one side, a few cupboards and his bed on the other. One photo hung on the wall, of a young black haired boy with a father and mother. He looked at it, jumped onto his bed and closed his eyes, holding his knife as protection under his pillow.

(Teaser)

Spoiler: Goals

5 Likes (Not Done)

10 Likes (Not Done)

20 Likes (Not Done)

@Rikio likes it XD (Not Done)

50 Likes (Not Done)

 

Spoiler: Advice

I'd say that's a pretty big mistake right there.

- About the little piece of story itself; if you haven't already done or thought so, make sure the main character(s) receive development, not only in strength and skill, but in personality, as well. However, do not make them change drastically within one or two chapters; make it spread out as the story progresses. This allows the reader to connect with the character and see their evolution. Also, make them human; unless they are robots, they should not be perfect in every way.
- Don't make the main character(s) unkillable/too overpowered. It will get boring for a lot of people if all they do is mow down enemies without much effort for the entire story.
- There are also bits of writing mistakes here and there, but you can just get someone to fix it or just do it yourself if you want to. If you leave it, it will make the story seem like it's being written unprofessionally in that area. For some people (those writing nazis), their attention will be directed toward the mistakes and not the story, and it may break the atmosphere that you want them to feel.
- You don't need to go crazy with coloring either. Some people prefer the normal black/white text (too many colors hurt their eyes).
- I also recommend posting all of your chapters and such on this one thread. Posting multiple chapters as their own threads will make them necro-able over time (bumping multiple chapter threads looks obnoxious), while having them here and only bumping this thread will keep them alive.
- One last thing, I do not recommend asking for people to give you support. They will support it if they think it's good. Also, if you want this to be the best that it can be, I suggest taking your time with it. Do not rush stories. Rushing it usually ends up making it messy and have a lot of plot holes. Taking your time allows you to think up new ideas and different ways to handle scenes that could be much better than what you've originally wanted. I used to write my chapters on the spot; no proofreading and rewriting. I decided to discontinue it and improve it because it wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. Months later, I have added and changed so many things in my story, that I would say it's ten times better than the original. It is worth it if you spend your time wisely, fine-tuning the elements in your story.

That is all I will say for now. There is a lot more tips and such that I could say, but it would make this post a megawall of text.

Spoiler: My Thoughts

As of right now, I am neutral. I do not dislike nor like it. It will take me a few chapters to decide whether I will continue reading this story or not.

Best wishes to your story.

 

This is the best advice I have ever seen.

Yes,his character will develop, but in the prologue all we get to know is the characters outside personality, his character will soon develop.

Thanks for taking the time to review this.

 

Aside from the spelling and such, there were two noticeable parts that an outsider to Wynncraft would get confused at. For example, being in Nemract isn't mentioned until Marek walks to his house, "Was he in Nemract when he got off the SeaSkipper?" and the lack of details after the SeaSkipper. "What was the area like?" It's good to add short explanation that appeal to the reader's senses. Something along the lines of "The salty scent of ocean water engulfed the docks." It is probably a good idea to mention that the SeaSkipper lands at the docks, as well.

I'd say, all those out of the picture, the direction being taken is interesting. It's not something that I'd go "WOW" at and would want to keep flipping pages, but it is something to keep an eye out for when the next chapter is released. If there are negative comments and no sign of support, don't let it get to you. If you truly are passionate about writing your story, then keep doing it.

 

OOOH it has pictures
me like pictures!

 

I really like this. I didn't know this already existed when I started my own wynncraft novel. I'm excited to see how both our series grow.

 

1. He overpowered four people by surprise.
2. I don't plan for him to be OP, but good point, he is quite OP from the first few chapters.
3. I know I named it wrong, but know its too late :)
4. You can start judging at about chapter 2, that's where the plot line starts curving.

 

A few updates!

-Edited Spelling
-Added Spoilers for convenience.

Remember to Vote on Poll and give support!

 

By the way, your story is not completely Light Theme friendly.

 

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR CHANGE!

 

@Rikio liked it

 

I pressed the Like button for their effort.