Giveaway (leaving Bc I Lagg Too Much)

IGN: EliteReisuke
How do you know me?: I dont really know ya :(
Joke: A cop approached a drunk man in an alleyway and asked him: "Sir, how high are you?"
And the drunk man replied: "No officer. Its hi, how are you."

 

are you giving it away on friday the 9th?

________________________________

or the 10th

 

Ign: xJEWCEx
Joke : elephants can't go to the beach because they can't keep their "trunks " up :D
Do I know you ? Not yet ! :)

 

Then 9th but the winner has 2 days to claim the prize (I'll go online to give theme it) if they don't pick it up then I will choose a different person

 

IGN: Buttered
Tell me a joke: What's blue and smells like red paint?

Spoiler

Blue Paint

Do you know me: Nope, sry.

 

IGN: TRTX
Joke: Hey, you know why the scarecrow was promoted? because he was outstanding in his field!!!
I don't know you :c

 

Ign: Kithgard
Tell me a joke: my life
Do you know me? no

 

Aren't you running out of memory by any chance?

________________________________

Ign: Bubbles0
Joke: a sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve food here."
Do you know me: nu

 

Ign: CaptainRex​

Joke: ready for a long joke? Here it is.
This is a true story of a person's experience with gummy bears.



Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers.

Do I know you? Now I do.

 

Ign: Twernk
Tell me a joke: Trump
Do you know me? Nope, but I could ;)

 

Ign: NintendoOverload
Tell me a joke: The choices we have in presidential candidates this year
Do you know me? ive seen you around but ive never talked

 

IGN: IIFennecII
Joke: A double joke. Ya ready?
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?"
"My names Paul...."

And now, another one!:
"What is the difference between a Snowman and a Snowwoman - Snowballs! HAHAH. I'm bad sorry :|
Do you know me?: Am i supposed to? <3

 

IGN: NeonRider
Joke: How fucking stupid keemstar is.
Do you know me?: maybe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Memes

 

Ign: Furma
Tell me a joke:
3
Kappa
Do you know me? Forums LURKERs

 

Ign: Jbip
Tell me a joke: It's the story of a man. He died. The end.
Do you know me? No, sorry but ily

 

Ign: mizzkissy
Tell me a joke: My life. Haha, no. I don't think that's funny. Okay...

I tried to catch fog yesterday.
Mist.

Do you know me? I don't think so, but that's the fun part. I know you now!
- people are gonna hate me for entering <3 -

 

Ign: Enderps
Tell me a joke: the past, present and future went into a bar... it was tense.
Do you know me? Nope D:

 

In game name: Icicled
Joke: I funi gi
I don't know you -_-

 

Ign: OryxWynn
Tell me a joke:

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat kangaroo give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Do you know me? nope

 

Ign: MajesticLuke
Joke:

Mom: Alright Im going to help you study for your test. What is the capital of Isreal?
Kid: Berlin
Mom: Good job! What about Netherlands?
Kid: Berlin
Mom: Okay what about France and Denmark
Kid: Berlin and Berlin
Mom: GOOD JOB ADOLF!

LOL IM UNORIGINAL SO IM GONNA POST ANOTHER ONE

TEacher: Kids the most important thing about math is that mistakes are valuable.
Kid: Really?
Teacher: YUP
Kid: Wow you must be very valuable then

Do i know you? ;-; sadly not but i will now lemme just go do my research