Lore/Story The Cave

Hey, I wanted some feedback on my story if I could(including grammar or spelling mistakes I have missed), thanks! ;D

Link to the Google Doc

-Star <3

 

But... there are no woods around Ternaves ;w;

 

Fixed, good catch x3

 

Doing a grammar check.
For the first paragraph you have "Felt" twice on the fourth line, and get rid of the comma after enemy in the second line. (The comma is from grammarly)

 

Fixed and fixed :)

 

Surprising, considering Wynncraft has like 94 different forests.

 

True... Well actually wynn has uh 5ish forests. Nivla forest, Nessak Forest, The jungles, and by The time door.

 

Nivla Woods, the little wood, the jungle, the ice forest, Dernel Jungle, Light Forest, Dark Forest, Kander Woods...

 

(=^・^=) < I really like it! I would suggest focusing more on the setting of the story, mostly in the exposition. Who or what did the character kill to get the blue mask (which enemy)? Is there anything special about the blue mask? Adding a lot more complex adjectives could help too, but other than that, I'd say it's a good story!

 

Thanks for the suggestions! c:

 

Baffling
Exquisite
Dazzling

 

Henceforth, I will be very obsequious to your baffling requests.