Void Rift Report!

"I think the award of 'most insane character 2K16' should be given to you instead of me"

 

"Pssh, you haven't seen anything so far. If you borrowed my brain for like 10 seconds you'd be like 'Dude can't handle it!'."

 

"I'd rather not stand here in the endless space-contiumn arguing with you"

 

"Oh please, we all know we're just typing on an internet forum. It's an effect of the semi-omniscient powers this place grants...for some reason."

 

"Yes, but from my perspective it looks like I'm in the middle of nowhere in the place outside the universe."

 

"Where the heck do you live? Purgatory?"

 

"A black hole, why do you ask?"

 

"Ooh, black holes are fun. It's hilarious when you suck someone into one."

"I'm surprised they have internet in black holes. Do you use Bi-Fi?"

"That sounds like a term for some kind of Bisexual Internet."

"Ok...uhh, Black-Fi?"

 

"It's the black hole in your router. I'm providing internet service to you by repeatedly spinning a knob."

 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Heh...careful about your, ha, choice of words there."

"Do I detect a Freudian Slip?"

"Don't listen to them. It's alright if you have sexual desires you feel the need to satisfy."

 

"And also by overseeing the nuclear factory here. How do you think you get internet in the first place? I can give you a lecture on how you recieve internet if you want."

 

"Why not just use magic to fuel your internet? Ever since technology mixed with magic, the internet here has been stronger than the combined force of 100 black holes."

"Don't lie. The internet still varies in strength, you can just access it wherever you want using magic."

"Did you see that stream where that guy died from using his solely own magic to fuel his internet? Pretty sad."

 

"You see?"

 

"I see."

"My eyes are definitely working."

"Yup."

"Sight organs seem to be functioning properly."

"I can see perfectly fine."

 

"Very good. Shall we proceed with the next phase of the ocular exam?"

 

"Unless you can shoot lasers out of my computer, I doubt you can do much other than getting me to read stuff. And anyway, I could just zoom in on the text."

"This is confusing me..."

 

"Tell me what you see."

 

"Memories."

"You."

"A dank meme."

"Someone invading Poland?"

"A bunch of people in a car!"

 

"Let us see...It seems that Abigail is correct. Now let us proceed to the next image."

 

"My hero."

"Aj."

"Another dank meme."

"Evil."

"A man who follows his dreams."