The Evil Genie / The Wish With A Catch

Granted. You reincarnate as a microraptor, the smallest dinosaur ever recorded.

I wish I had Shrek as my spirit animal.

 

Granted.
The internet collapses on you as their meme. Meanwhile, I get to 'fly' with my four wings and have fun.

I wish to have something bad happen to me with a good catch.

 

Granted, you end up catching a ball in midair whilst doing a flip, but it turns out it's not a ball, but a bomb - which explodes!

I wish I had a shiny rock.

 

The shiny rock is lead. You die from it's toxicity.

I wish I could be my normal self again.

 

Granted but only for two seconds.
I wish I had a potato. I don't want to eat it, I just want a potato.

 

Granted, but you happen to be in Soviet Russia when you make your wish. Now potato hold you.

I wish I was a Grian of Salt

 

granted but you will be on someone's food and you will die instantly

i wish i was a fish

 

Granted, but you'll be hooked by sailors and served on a silver platter.

I wish I was abducted by aliens and given psychic powers.

 

Granted, but you can only use the psychic powers to read the minds of the aliens.

I wish I was immortal and that I'll never have an illness again.

 

You wish you were immoral and never have a pill again?
So you can't cure sickness AND you're a douchebag?
Alrighty then.

I wish that I could spellcheck more posts.

 

Granted, but you can't move.

I wish for the Music Discs from Minecraft as vinyl records.

 

Granted, but slapping someone is not a wish.

I wish I could slap Dravern

 

I slapped him because he replied to the thingymabobber behind my doodad!

Wish granted, but my body heats up to 7,777,777 degrees kelvin.
Somehow.


I wish that people would accept that dinosaurs had feathers and still do in the form of birds.

 

Granted, but they use this as evidence to prove the existence of the Illuminati!

I wish quests in Wynncraft gave more xp.

 

Granted, but now everyone is a level 100 because it's so easy to get. This puts pressure on the staff team to release Dern faster. Eventually the staff team explodes under the stress and Wynncraft has to be shut down.

I wish I had a hotdog

 

Granted. Every dog you go near will now get set on fire.

I wish I sniped Hitler before he suicided

 

Granted, but because Hitler is just a last name you snipe his mom who didn't support Hitler.

I wish for nothing.

Catch THAT!

 

Granted, you are now nothing.
(I acually planned this response for if someone wished for that last night. I'M A PSYCHIC!)

I wish there were more good Creepypastas. The only good ones are BEN DROWNED and Z.A.I.

 

Granted, but they're so scary, everyone's too scared to read them. Due to nobody reading them, creepypastas fade out of existence.

I wish for this wish to not have a catch.