Zodiac Armor Rant

My life revolves around astrology. I don't know absolutely everything about it (yet), but I know a considerable amount on the subject. When I saw that there was Zodiac armor in the Gavel update, I was ecstatic, even though I'm nowhere near the level requirement range of the armor. As I would with anything even somewhat related to astrology, I poured my heart and soul into finding out as much as I could about the armor via the Wynncraft wiki and the item guide on the main website. During my search, however, I was met with many pleasant and unpleasant surprises in the lore and stats of the armor. This thread is a compilation of all of my thoughts on all of the Zodiac armor and their relations to their corresponding astrological sign.

(This is NOT a suggestion, demand, or serious criticism of the Zodiac armor. This thread is intended to be and should be taken as a joke. It's just me poking fun at the Zodiac armor and their creator(s), and making fun of myself for being such a hypercritical nerd when it comes to astrology. Plx don't be mad at me, I don't mean to offend anyone or anything. ;u;)

Before I talk about the specific pieces of armor, I would just like to point out two things. First of all, I was looking at the Zodiac Item wiki page on my phone the other day, and to my horror, this is what I saw:

Spoiler: Screenshot

The list of the items, out of order. It's not even in alphabetical order. I cringe every time I look at it. I don't know who put it in that order or if it was organized in some weird way I didn't pick up on, but I mentioned it to one of my friends and he put it in the right order. (I was going to do it but he beat me to it.)

The other thing I wanted to mention is my sheer disappointment with whoever designed these armor pieces. The astrological signs are categorized into four groups of three (Fire, Earth, Air, and Water) and three groups of four (Cardinal, Fixed, and Mutable). The four elements would have fit perfectly if applied to the perks of each piece of armor. The same goes for the modalities if you put at least a tiny bit of effort into researching how they affect the personality of a sign. And not to mention, twelve is easily divisible into four, so why are there three helmets, four chestplates, two leggings, and three boots? ALSO, each sign rules a different part of the body, so if the sign applies to that part of the body, why not have it be the armor type that somewhat protects it? I just think it's ridiculous not to have incorporated all of this into the armor. It would have been perfect.

Okay, now time to rant about the individual pieces of armor. I'm going to put them in spoilers to save space. And just note, most of this is pretty negative, and I'm going easy on my criticism. I could have a lot more to say about this armor and astrology, but I'm not that mean.

Spoiler: Aries

Overall, I think they got three things right about Aries. One of them is probably unintentional. First of all, in the lore, it mentions that this helmet is used by Dwarves that only ride Rams. Yeah, Aries is the Ram. Okay. Then it requires Strength minimum 20 and gives you Melee Damage 15, which fit the stereotypes that Arians are very strong and love to fight. And the possibly unintentional thing would be that Aries rules the head, and this is a helmet.
I am disappointed though that there's no fire perks. I did rant about how none of the armor includes the elements, but Aries is a fire sign, and about as fire as you can get. But overall, I'd say this helmet is one of the least disappointing of the Zodiac items.

Spoiler: Taurus

I honestly wish I could redo Taurus. The only thing they got right was the bit in the lore that mentions a bull. I guess the Strength could be counted as a hint towards Taurus' reputation for being stubborn, but this armor would've much better represented the Tauran personality if it included a considerable decrease in Walk Speed, like Statue. I'm disappointed with Taurus.

Spoiler: Gemini

I'm much more happy with Gemini than I was with Taurus. The agility minimum would represent their insane flexibility, the lore tells of two gods, and there's equal boosts for four of the elements. But I'm very disappointed that the one element they left out was Air. Gemini is about as Air as you can get between all the astrological signs. I'm not sure if it was a coincidence this happened or if it was on purpose, but it's ironic either way. And similar to Taurus, I think Gemini's flexibility could've been much better represented with a great increase in Walk Speed.

Spoiler: Cancer

I'm really upset with this one. Really? Poison 3200 and a plague? I doubt it could've been any more obvious that this is referring to the disease. Poor Cancers already have to deal with sharing a name with a widely hated disease and the confusion others have between the astrological sign and the disease, and now they have a stupid helmet to worry about. And actually, Cancers are more widely known for being kind than they are for being evil (even if they aren't the most kind of the astrological signs). Honestly, this helmet better suits Scorpio. And as I said for Taurus and Gemini, Cancer is a water sign, and anything related to water would fit beautifully with this helmet's perks.

Spoiler: Leo

Leo is another Zodiac Item that I'm okay with. It mentions lions and courage, and I'll give you that. I guess one might be able to interpret the "grant the user massive protection" as pride, which Leos certainly have plenty of. I'm actually pretty okay with Leo. Although, Leos are widely known for being fabulous leaders, and it would have been fitting if the lore included something about that.

Spoiler: Virgo

Whoever made these armor pieces barely put any effort into Virgo. I honestly feel kinda bad for it. There's nothing in the lore that reflects a maiden or any of Virgo's personality traits, nor are there any perks that might hint towards any aspect of the astrological sign Virgo. I can get why there wouldn't be any perks because that might be hard to do, but it would have been painfully easy to include a maiden in the lore. It doesn't have to be a "virgin".

Spoiler: Libra

I like this one. This is good. This is very good. Libra is all about equality, and I'm loving the min 35 for all the traits, and the +5 for the four perks. I also love that the armor is said to be made of the scales themselves. I'm sure there are plenty of things you could add to this to make it more Libran (as there are for all of the Zodiac armor), but I'm quite content with how it is. Bravo, Zodiac armor creator, you finally got something right.

Spoiler: Scorpio

I'm pretty sure the lore is supposed to say "scarabs" and not "scarbs", but that's not the point of this rant so I'm just gonna leave that alone. Anyways, I'm disappointed with Scorpio (what else is new?), but not so much as I am with some of the other armor pieces. I suppose scarabs are close enough, but Scorpio is the Scorpion; but I suppose that would be a bit boring, seeing as Scorpio and Scorpion literally have a one letter difference. But I am upset that the... *cough* "scarbs" are fire, because Scorpio is a water sign. But I suppose it wouldn't be as cool to have a scarb that's only wet to the touch. I do like that this has Poison 700, because scorpions are poisonous (duh) and I like to think that Scorpios are very toxic in personality. (No offense to my dear Scorpios out there. Ily. You are all very sweet. Just kinda scary sometimes. But ily. ♡)

...heh, "scarb".

Spoiler: Sagittarius

Alright, you mentioned centaurs in the lore, I'll give you that. I also like the Agility Min 100 and Agility 5 perk, as Sagittarius is fairly flexible in personality. Sagittarians are really more spontaneous than they are flexible, but I'll let it slide. I also like the Speed 15 perk, as they are pretty quick thinkers. I think the lore would have been a bit better if it mentioned an archer, as Sagittarius is the Archer, but Sagittarius can also be represented as the centaur, so I guess my argument is invalid. This is kind of pushing it, but I also like the Melee Damage 100 perk, as Sagittarius is similar to Aries in the sense that they're both stereotypically good fighters (except Aries is far more stereotypically aggressive than Sagittarius; Sagittarius is actually known for being very nice and really fun). I think for the most part, whoever made Sagittarius did a pretty decent job. Thumbs up for this one, at least.

Spoiler: Capricorn

Capricorn is kind of iffy, I think. I find the Intelligence Min 50 funny because Capricorns are stereotypically really smart. I suppose you could argue that they're peaceful, but Capricorns aren't known for being significantly aggressive or significantly peaceful people. I could probably complain about the lack of things representing Capricorn in this armor, but I honestly can't think of anything fitting besides an Intelligence perk just for the stereotype joke. So uh, shrug.

Spoiler: Aquarius

Aquarius. I love Aquarians. And this chestplate makes me want to cry and stab whoever designed this in the gut at the same time. I suppose I shouldn't get too mad because this is a very common mistake among people who don't know much about astrology, but it gets on my nerves nonetheless. Here, I'll bold it and make the text red, just so my point gets across. I'll even italicize it for you, too!
AQUARIUS IS NOT A WATER SIGN, NOR DOES IT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH WATER BESIDES ITS NAME.
There. Shocker, right? Aquarius the Water Bearer isn't a water sign! "But it has water in the na-"NO. Well actually yes it does. But look. Aquarius is the Water BEARER. Aquarius holds the water, separated from all the other astrological signs that are in the water. Water is emotion. Aquarians are either emotionally detached or have trouble expressing emotion.
So when I saw that "many water like qualities surround it", I wanted to stab whoever made this lore.
Anyways, besides that major disappointment, I also find the Intelligence Min 110 funny here because Aquarians are huge nerds. But that's it.
Dear whoever made this armor: Please do your research first, and say your prayers that you never meet me, because you can expect a knife in the gut if we do happen to meet.
(kidding about the knife. but really, my soul hurts from this lore.)

Spoiler: Pisces

Okay. Last but not least. Geez, it's tiring to be this angry for so long, and that's coming from an Aries.
Alright. I don't know what Molten Heights is, but from the sound of it, I assume it's a very fiery and hot place. That's my first complaint. Pisces is a water sign, and pretty much the polar opposite of fire. I also don't like the Melee Damage 200. Pisces is actually pretty peaceful - at least stereotypically they are. I also don't like that this is a helmet. Pisces rules the feet, so I feel that it would be fitting as boots. I feel like Pisces would've been much better if the lore incorporated the Fish somehow, and had some water reference, and maybe a hint at something having to do with dreaming. Thumbs down for poor, sweet Pisces.

Wow. I didn't think that this would be so tiring to write. Anyways, this is my complaining about the Zodiac items thread.

Hope you enjoyed reading this. I doubt anyone will actually read this entire thing. Oh well.

Don't hate me please. ♡​

 

I scanned it in two seconds

________________________________

no idea what it says

 

All the rant is in the spoilers, mah friend ;u;

 

OMF I FEEL THE SAME. IM AN AQUARIAN AND I WAS LIKE WWFTFTFWTFTWTWFTWFTWFTWTFWTWFTWFTWFTFFTTFWf

 

OMF I WAS ALL PREPARED TO GET A LOT OF HATE N STUFF ON THIS THREAD BUT OMFF GAHD I LOVE AQUARIUS WITH ALL OF MY HEART BUT THIS ARMOR BUTCHERED IT AgHGHhGhH THANK YOU

 

WHAT SIGN ARE YOU AJSDKHASFHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA

 

There is water in the molten heights, there's even ice.
But yea

 

A lot of things don't show up on the item guide
For example, air properties, tier attack speed, and other such things
So you're looking at some items that aren't even correct

 

IM AN ARIES, AND I HAVE AN AQUARIUS MOON and Sagittarius rising BUT YE

This makes me really happy thank you XD

Well the Wiki is no help either, and there's no way in hell I'm getting my hands on that armor... :') But thanks for the input, it's a bit reassuring.

 

Here's what I have to compare to:
http://prntscr.com/9w6uc8
http://prntscr.com/9w6uee
http://prntscr.com/9w6ui6
http://prntscr.com/9w6ul0
http://prntscr.com/9w6uns
Probs more on my alt, idk

 

A well-developed argument over the non-fitting of the Zodiac items with the Zodiac itself. Good job! But WHAT IF they all are related to The Zodiac Killer somehow. ( ͡° ͜◯ ͡°)

 

You know what I hate about The Zodiac Killer? He is in ABSOLUTELY NO WAY related to Zodiac signs. I've watched entire documentaries on him, looked at the dates he killed, etc. NOTHING. And that symbol he uses? That's the alchemical symbol for the planet Earth, which is NOT used in astrology.

But if they were related to the Killer, I'm sure he'd be a hell of a lot more interesting than he is. XD

 

Gemini does have air defence, the item guide just sucks.
Taurus has -10 attack speed
And cancer has +10 attack speed

 

I'm probably going to edit this as I find out more about the actual armor, so thank you!! ♡

________________________________

Thank you! I'm going to edit the hell out of this thread.

 

Calm Down friendo, I was making something known as a joke. I do agree that their label as 'Zodiac' is iffy.

 

Yeheh sorry, I raged ;u; But yeah, I would love to know their reasoning behind it, and what idiot came up with it.

 

The wiki is listed in the order the Zodiac typically is.

 

Yeah, NOW it is, because the friend I mentioned fixed it. ^.^

 

inb4 its salted

 

If it's Salted who designed these things, then I'm officially saltier than Salted.

I'm salty at Salted and I'm saltier than Salted. I'm saltier than Salted, who I salty at.

Salt.